guest569 Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Has anyone had trouble getting past a traumatic relationship or breakup? I wonder how to let go of the emotions such as pain and anger, vivid memories and flashbacks and worst of all, depression. Any success with this? I am hurt from a breakup from more than 3 yrs ago, just missing him and feeling hurt still that things didn't work out. But the worst one was a breakup just over a year ago. It was nothing too horrid but it hurt me very deeply and left me feeling so betrayed, rejected, neglected, devastated and heartbroken. I have tried counselling, medications, meeting new people, doing new activities.. How long before time does its thing? I'll be ok for a while and have a bad dream about him or randomly get those obsessive thoughts again and feel so hurt , angry and sad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Heartbrokenandhurt Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 I wish I knew. I'm in the same boat, but its only been 7 months for me. I fear this will carry with me for the rest of my life. I can't see much if any improvement from say 3 months ago. Link to post Share on other sites
FailedFirstLove Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Has anyone had trouble getting past a traumatic relationship or breakup? I wonder how to let go of the emotions such as pain and anger, vivid memories and flashbacks and worst of all, depression. Any success with this? I am hurt from a breakup from more than 3 yrs ago, just missing him and feeling hurt still that things didn't work out. But the worst one was a breakup just over a year ago. It was nothing too horrid but it hurt me very deeply and left me feeling so betrayed, rejected, neglected, devastated and heartbroken. I have tried counselling, medications, meeting new people, doing new activities.. How long before time does its thing? I'll be ok for a while and have a bad dream about him or randomly get those obsessive thoughts again and feel so hurt , angry and sad. I think everyone would want to know how long the pain will last but it varies with each person. With each relationship. I keep asking myself how is he getting on with his life and I'm here struggling like there is no tomorrow. Even after 3 months (1month nc) Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Hi Smiley, I looked at your history to find out a bit more. What I found was that you have a long history of struggling with this. Have you ever looked back at your history? I'd be interested to see if you were aware that this has been going on for a long time with you. Thing is, we can all have a heartbreak here and there, but with so many regrets and so much sadness in your history, there must be some choices which you can improve on. I think that recovery can happen when we start to take ownership of our own contributions to what happened to us. What warning signs did we ignore? Did we push on way after we should have walked away? Did we make the choice to settle for something which we shouldn't have? the next step is to develop strategies to help us avoid falling into the same trap. So tell us, what have you learned and how does it change how you will tackle the future? Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 (edited) Has anyone had trouble getting past a traumatic relationship or breakup? I wonder how to let go of the emotions such as pain and anger, vivid memories and flashbacks and worst of all, depression. Any success with this? I am hurt from a breakup from more than 3 yrs ago, just missing him and feeling hurt still that things didn't work out. But the worst one was a breakup just over a year ago. It was nothing too horrid but it hurt me very deeply and left me feeling so betrayed, rejected, neglected, devastated and heartbroken. I have tried counselling, medications, meeting new people, doing new activities.. How long before time does its thing? I'll be ok for a while and have a bad dream about him or randomly get those obsessive thoughts again and feel so hurt , angry and sad. Can i ask have u been feeling ur emotions as they surface or trying to forget? I think it's important to feel the emotions as they come it's ur body and minds way of healing. Feel it observe it, observe where its coming from sit wth it if it means crying cry till u cry no more then release and then repeat. So if in a moment u start feeling angry try not to bury that feeling but rather feel it and do the above. Just something I learnt from my past relationships getting over love and hurt. Plus I think the big clincher for me letting go was either meeting my next soulmate or taking a huge holiday and adventure those two always seemed to seal the deal Edited July 17, 2017 by Goodguy05 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpingiron34 Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 idk but i can tell you i feel the same way a year and a couple months after my breakup. Im still haunted from time to time with things that were said and done it just drags me into a horrible depression, where im constantly trying to find ways to cope with the pain. Even though she was absolutely crazy you think it would just go away but, it doesn't. I honestly am starting to believe myself that it doesn't go away unless you find some one else. Maybe after a very long amount of time. Which makes it even harder because finding someone else after being so traumatized is extremely difficult. Maybe easier for you since your a girl and guys are pretty cool with girls bein messed up but, not the other way around. If i were you find someone new, i bet it will work. Link to post Share on other sites
Igawis Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 (edited) I survived really toxic relationship in the past. It took me a lot of trials and failures to find the way out but fortunately, I succeeded and now I am emotionally detached from him and this unhappy past. It is a lot of inner/emotional work. I was enough of this mental trap that is why I had a huge motivation to complete this "sad project" Edited July 17, 2017 by Igawis Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 I survived really toxic relationship in the past. It took me a lot of trials and failures to find the way out but fortunately, I succeeded and now I am emotionally detached from him and this unhappy past. It is a lot of inner/emotional work. I was enough of this mental trap that is why I had a huge motivation to complete this "sad project" This far out I would say you are stuck in a loop of negative thinking. Unfortunately time in and of itself does not heal all wounds. You have to get your thoughts under control. This is very difficult to do and takes persistence and discipline. It is easier for some than it is for others. I would research information about managing your thoughts. Therapists can give you the tools to help you get to that place, but oftentimes 'we' want quick and easy fixes. This is where you end up with "therapy didn't work", etc. Obviously there are a lot of crap therapists out there as well. It takes a lot of effort to get your mind under better control. If you are a negative thinking 'addict' you will have to own it, commit to overcoming it, and come up with a battle plan. I've been in this place so I understand where you're coming from. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts