MarvelFan1 Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 I'm 32, and I've always been a firm believer that when you have any relationship questions, you can always turn to your family for advice. My Nan, Mum, Dad and my brother and his family, all have a wealth of knowledge between them, especially on relationships, and can offer great advice to me, because they can see what I can't from the outside looking in. They can give you some great advice and will always be in your corner, and sometimes say you should do this or that, but they always end the sentence with, "...but its your choice". Just before I broke up with my ex, I consulted my family for advice, to make sure I wasn't over reacting and being unreasonable. They all sang from the hymn sheet, was I really that blind that I couldn't see how unhappy I was, how much it upset them to see and hear me always complain... and after my families advice, they said, "...but it's your choice". In the past with relationships, I chose to ignore any advice from my family, that could have saved me a lot of pain and heartache, but I thought I knew best. This time, I was determined to listen and act accordingly and end my relationship. After 3 weeks, I broke the NC rule, much to my Mum and Sis-in-law's surprise, and they said I was making a mistake to reach out and to be stronger, don't settle for less, so I went NC again. A couple of weeks after I wanted to reach out again, I was so sad, and my Mum told me to hang in there. She said a week later, she really wanted to tell me to message her, just so I would feel better, but she knew that would be the wrong thing to say. Now my family keep propping me up during this time, even though I want to break NC 9 weeks on. A previous ex even said that I need to think for myself and not keep asking my Mum for advice all the time. Does anyone here also seek advice from their parents and family, and do you follow it, and take it in, or do you tend to go it alone? Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 I see nothing wrong with it if you have people who are willing to listen and advise. The downside is that these people are the least likely to be objective, which may not always result in the best advice. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 No. My father didn't care. He never gave me relationship advice. My mother was always biased - toward me. I was always right, the girl was always wrong. That wasn't helpful at all. I did have a grandmother who could see things in a clear, unbiased way. Would give it to me straight. I would go to her when starting a relationship sometimes. But, never when ending it. Mostly made my own decisions either way. Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 Good topic. I think that I do personally do take for granted the influence of my parents concerning this. If it wasn't for my dad, I would have been in some very very bad situations with women when I was much younger - he still straightens me out now and again. And my mum is a sweatheart - very empathetic. Having good parents is a blessing. Especially if they are open minded and supportive. Ultimately though, I prefer to go it alone. And I don't want my parents knowing each detail. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 No, I have always followed my own instincts and gut. My family are lovely and generally very supportive of my choices, but I prefer not to involve them when I make relationship decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
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