Amas5750 Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 So im 1 month out of a nearly 2 year relationship. We still live under the same roof (different bedrooms). He just started an antidepressant so was unusually hyper and happy this morning. He sometimes comes to my room in the morning n playfully turns the lights on n russles the end of my bed to annoyingly wake me. Its usually playful and fine and we hug on occasion. He's "ok" post break up. Like he detached n threw himself into workaholism n food addiction months ago. I have been a total mess and he knows it. So this morning he came into my room and jumped on my bed in a usual annoying n playful mannor. Its winter here so for the first time he put himself under my blankets with me. Spooning. I was sorta like "no" but not really. The mood was playful. Then i could tell he was "turned on" and he sorta, um, tried to make my hand touch his things.. loke kept playfully grabbing my hand even tho i was playfully saying no.i wouldnt touch it. And he playfully jumped ontop of me. He was trying to get 'it on'... i wouldnt let him. Playfully saying no ans he was convincing rather than pushing me to do anything. Nothinv ended up happening cos he saw a few tears come to my eyes and he immediately pulled away and appologised. Hes not an awful guy. But i didnt want to do anything. He abandoned the relationship and we havent had sex in 7 months (his choice). Thoughts? Of course im moving out soon Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Just continue to make it clear you don't want sex until you move out. Going down that road would be a step in the wrong direction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Set boundaries. You're broken up, and he shouldn't be coming into your room, let alone crawling into your bed. The best I figure on "okay" with opening up your bedroom door is when you're sleeping through your alarm that is annoying the hell out of him, and he's telling you to get up and shut it off and get ready for work, but shut off the alarm. It seems you're playing and toying a little (accepting his advances), and not that you're being vindictive, it's just a good feeling. You like it. You like him to cuddle, and you probably want the sex, but you've managed to refrain, as you're broken up...BUT...you're giving some major, huge, mixed signals, and so is he. Boundaries. You're roommates for now and stuck being roommates for now, I'm assuming until your lease is up and you can part ways, but you're kind of stuck in the situation you're in, and you need to tell him to back off, as you are no longer a couple and he should not be entering your room, let alone your bed. If you're still into him, but he dumped you, he is totally toying with you and using you when he wants...boundaries...you have to say NO..no matter how wonderful it is to snuggle...just no, no, no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 In a calm voice in another room tell him that was unacceptable. Make a new rule -- he has to knock before entering your bedroom & under no circumstances is he allowed in the bed. Di did you say so much as "what are you doing?" or climb out of bed as he climbed in? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amas5750 Posted July 16, 2017 Author Share Posted July 16, 2017 Thanks everyone. I still love him in a way so it really could mess with my head. I have made it clear hes not to come in my room. He has agreed. I am looking at a new rental today, which is necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
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