maxikay Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Hey, i've been in complete NC for about 2 months, and the break up was about 2 and a half months ago. I've been feeling a lot better nowadays, although i still have some bad days here and there, but they are starting to become more rare. The situation is as follows: I went on vacation with my ex on January of this year, and it turns out she took almost all the pictures of our vacation on her phone. She never uploaded them to facebook or anything before we broke up, so I have no access to these photos, and I would like to have them (since it was a fun trip anyways, and i dont want to forget it). Thing is, i don't know if breaking NC for this is worth it. I was thinking about texting her that i wanted the photos and asking her to upload them somewhere so i can download them. Any opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Not worth it. You'll just receive painfrom it. Pics are not worth pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxikay Posted July 10, 2017 Author Share Posted July 10, 2017 Not worth it. You'll just receive painfrom it. Pics are not worth pain. The other thing i was thinking about was asking my sister to ask for the photos, since she used to be friends with my ex before we got together. What do you think about that? Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 The other thing i was thinking about was asking my sister to ask for the photos, since she used to be friends with my ex before we got together. What do you think about that?she'll still have the pictures a year or two from now. why not wait and get them then? Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxikay Posted July 10, 2017 Author Share Posted July 10, 2017 she'll still have the pictures a year or two from now. why not wait and get them then? Because i dont know how she feels about them and there is the possibility that she might erase them Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 LOL call her Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 I don't think it's a good idea. The vacation is etched into your memory bank. You will not forget it. Are you sure you're not just looking for a reason to reach out? I am trying to imagine myself in your situation. I don't think getting pics of a last vacation is good for your emotional health while your heart is still mending, nor is breaking contact. I think you could experience an unnecessary set back if you do this. I could be wrong. Ultimately the choice is yours to make. Maybe sit on it for a few more days. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 I haven't pulled the plug, but I'm going to pretty much delete all the pictures of our last vacation together. It was even worse since it was where he proposed as well. But why would I want to keep memories of that in physical form? Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 You've been doing great with the NC and healing so by doing so that it will greatly set you back. I would also guess that you are hoping more may come from contacting her. You don't need the photos. You won't forget what happened on vacation. Sit on this for a few more months then see how you're feeling. It takes longer than a few months to get to a point where if you contact her and don't get a reply, that you won't be set back and hurt again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxikay Posted July 10, 2017 Author Share Posted July 10, 2017 The reason i want those photos is because there are some cool ones i remember where it's just myself, and the vast majority is from the places we visited, so its not like i want the pictures of us together to remember her or something. I mainly want them to share them with friends. Maybe deep down i do hope that something else comes from it, i don't really know, but i hadn't considered the posibility of not getting a reply, and that would certainly hurt me. Maybe i'll wait a bit and see how i feel. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 Yes, wait a while longer and see how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
confusedgirlfriend11 Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 Hey, i've been in complete NC for about 2 months, and the break up was about 2 and a half months ago. I've been feeling a lot better nowadays, although i still have some bad days here and there, but they are starting to become more rare. The situation is as follows: I went on vacation with my ex on January of this year, and it turns out she took almost all the pictures of our vacation on her phone. She never uploaded them to facebook or anything before we broke up, so I have no access to these photos, and I would like to have them (since it was a fun trip anyways, and i dont want to forget it). Thing is, i don't know if breaking NC for this is worth it. I was thinking about texting her that i wanted the photos and asking her to upload them somewhere so i can download them. Any opinions? IMO Don't do it!! If the vacation was that good, you'll always remember it. Surely seeing pictures from a past relationship is going to stir up some emotions? How would you feel if she's already deleted them? It sounds like you just want an excuse to contact her. If you know you broke up for the right reasons then there's no good in getting back in contact. I'm being harsh as I literally just broke NC and now I feel like cr*p! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 Don't do it. I'm crap with NC. I'm constantly sub-consciously thinking of reasons to reach out. It is a form of self-torture. No matter what response you get, it'll hurt. Her ignoring you, deleted the photos already, sending the photos with no other conversation, thinking she's happy without you etc. etc. And when you get the photos, it will take you back to that happy place that you no longer have. NOPE. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 Three words - "not worth it". I broke it too, although mine actually had some functionality as I had to give stuff back. But still not worth it to break the NC. You will 100% feel worse after. And you don't want those pictures - just keep them in your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 Even though it was a "fun trip" I don't understand why you want the pictures. They will only serve to remind you of what you lost. If you must have the pictures & your sister is willing to ask for them, that would be a better plan. Your EX may have already deleted them. Your EX may getting annoyed that your sister asked. Your EX may just be spiteful & say no. Think about how much worse those responses will make you feel before you have your sister ask. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MarvelFan1 Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 Wow, this thread has really helped me. I'm in a similar situation. A week after our holiday, we split up and she has all the pictures on a memory stick, but luckily she put the pictures on FB, and shared the album to my account. So even though we are not on each others FB any more, I can still view the pictures. We split just over two months ago and she still has a couple of bits of mine I never got back, and I have some of hers. She has never asked for them back, and obviously, haven't asked her for mine. I think we are both in the, 'lets see who gives in first' phase of NC. I said to my Mum maybe I should just drop her stuff at her door. My Mum said that I'm not strong enough to do that yet, and it sounded like I was looking for an excuse to have some form of contact with her, and she is right. As much as I want to contact her, I can't bring myself to do it, and as other people have said, all it brings is nothing but feeling like crap and heartache, so I'm bearing that in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxikay Posted July 17, 2017 Author Share Posted July 17, 2017 (edited) I ended up just asking for the photos myself. I figured i should just be an adult and get over with it. The conversation was straight to the point. It took her a few days to finally send them (they were on icloud and she couldn't figure out how to download them, so after a few days she gave me her password to do it myself). The only thing that was lame was that, after i told her i had the photos and thanked her, i didn't get a reply back, but it wasn't that bad. It hurt a bit, but it makes me feel better to know i confronted my fear of talking to her, and knowing i can handle it quite well. Plus, i don't have any more excuses to reach out again. Wow, this thread has really helped me. I'm in a similar situation. A week after our holiday, we split up and she has all the pictures on a memory stick, but luckily she put the pictures on FB, and shared the album to my account. So even though we are not on each others FB any more, I can still view the pictures. We split just over two months ago and she still has a couple of bits of mine I never got back, and I have some of hers. She has never asked for them back, and obviously, haven't asked her for mine. I think we are both in the, 'lets see who gives in first' phase of NC. I said to my Mum maybe I should just drop her stuff at her door. My Mum said that I'm not strong enough to do that yet, and it sounded like I was looking for an excuse to have some form of contact with her, and she is right. As much as I want to contact her, I can't bring myself to do it, and as other people have said, all it brings is nothing but feeling like crap and heartache, so I'm bearing that in mind. I was feeling the same as you before i sent her the first text. The reason i decided to do it was that, for some reason, i was feeling really brave that morning and had the mentality of facing my fear head on. Edited July 17, 2017 by maxikay Link to post Share on other sites
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