enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 After nearly a year of dealing with my boyfriend I have finally decided to end it. Since Day 1, he has done nothing but tell me that I need to change and I cant take it anymore. I do realize I am not perfect, and sure I do have flaws and things I need to change, but talking down to me and making me feel like I am bad and everything is my fault isn't the way to help me better things about myself. He basically talks and acts how he wants, and yet he wants respect. If he does something I don't like and I call him out on it, then I am too sensitive. And if I tell him that he doesn't acknowledge my feelings and express myself as he has done many times then he will tell me how I am stubborn and stuck in my ways! He has basically chipped away at my self esteem so badly that I have no choice but to get away. He lives with me and he moved in during a time when he had nothing in his life. No job, no nothing. He eventually got one and I even helped him do the paperwork with that. Then he just got a better paying one and his attitude has changed and not for the better. He called me for help during the orientation because he couldn't even fill out a W-2! And this is the thanks I get. I discussed us splitting the bills once he catches up a little and he made excuses everything he has to do with his money and said IF he has extra money then he will help me out more. And only offered to pay 100 more per month. I have tried to explain to him that he is living in the household so he should be paying half the expenses not 1/3. He has been acting very disrespectful and lashing out at me. I got fed up and told him he has a month to go. I started getting severe anxiety and 3 days later, we talked and we decided to work on our relationship. I thought it was going to work out, but then later that night he made a comment that bothered me so I told him in a mature way that I didn't like that and to please not do that because it bothers me. He wouldn't acknowledge it, and instead called me overly sensitive and again blaming everything on me. I just don't feel he will ever be fair to me, or treat me with love and respect. It seems the only needs he cares about are his own so I have to get him out of my life. I just want to make sure that I don't back down this time. I start to feel very anxious and then tell myself I cant do it and the cycle starts yet again...Please help Side note: I have tried making myself unhappy to make HIM happy to no avail. Trying to think of different ways to make this work because I do love him. Just never seems good enough Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 Look this has just turned into kind of a cyclical dependent relationship where you are circling the drain, frankly. You can't get out without a little pain and anxiety. If you find it unmanageable, talk to a doc, but mostly just decide you want out, block him all the way so there's no temptation and he can't pull your strings, and get OUT. Link to post Share on other sites
Hurtingguy Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 First off why are you even upset by all this clearly since day 1 he was a dick you should have got out of this relationship a long time ago...he uses you and abuses you verbally kick his ass out of the apartment stop helping him and move on.. A man like this will never change the way he is he will continue to use you and eventually it will get worse. My advice to you would be to start getting out more keep your mind busy get rid of anything that reminds you of him know that you are a much better person then him and that you deserve better..you seem like a very caring person and wanna be there for your significant other but you need to find someone that will respect you be there for you and show you love and respect.. Until you get rid of this guy and stop talking to him and know what your really worth this anxiety will not go away. I know it's not easy but in time berthing will get better and you will use this experience for your next relationship.. I do hope you feel better soon you will get great advice her just make sure you use it I as stubborn and didn't listen for a while and everything I was told in this forum happened there. Some wise people in this site so LISTEN... Hope you feel better soon Link to post Share on other sites
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2017 Author Share Posted June 16, 2017 First off why are you even upset by all this clearly since day 1 he was a dick you should have got out of this relationship a long time ago...he uses you and abuses you verbally kick his ass out of the apartment stop helping him and move on.. A man like this will never change the way he is he will continue to use you and eventually it will get worse. My advice to you would be to start getting out more keep your mind busy get rid of anything that reminds you of him know that you are a much better person then him and that you deserve better..you seem like a very caring person and wanna be there for your significant other but you need to find someone that will respect you be there for you and show you love and respect.. Until you get rid of this guy and stop talking to him and know what your really worth this anxiety will not go away. I know it's not easy but in time berthing will get better and you will use this experience for your next relationship.. I do hope you feel better soon you will get great advice her just make sure you use it I as stubborn and didn't listen for a while and everything I was told in this forum happened there. Some wise people in this site so LISTEN... Hope you feel better soon thanks! I gave him notice to vacate. By law, I can't just kick him out. It stinks but it's the law. I just told him to not disrespect me while he's still in my home, and wished him the best. Since he thinks he's so grand, let someone else deal with him. He's 42 and acts like he's 21 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hurtingguy Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 thanks! I gave him notice to vacate. By law, I can't just kick him out. It stinks but it's the law. I just told him to not disrespect me while he's still in my home, and wished him the best. Since he thinks he's so grand, let someone else deal with him. He's 42 and acts like he's 21 Is there some where else you can stay on the meantime your anxiety will not go away until he is out of Your life...if u have no where else to go try not to be in the house while he is home...live in separate rooms of the place and don't sleep in the same bed as him...you won't start healing from this until he is gone so the Sooner the better Link to post Share on other sites
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2017 Author Share Posted June 16, 2017 Is there some where else you can stay on the meantime your anxiety will not go away until he is out of Your life...if u have no where else to go try not to be in the house while he is home...live in separate rooms of the place and don't sleep in the same bed as him...you won't start healing from this until he is gone so the Sooner the betterno and I'm not comfortable having him stay in my apartment without me here. He has no legal rights to it so if anyone is going to find somewhere to go it will be him. He didn't come home after work so I think he is also trying to keep his space from me as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 This guys gonna realise wat he lost onice he's finally out. He's codependent. Did he's mom always do things for him or was overly protective? I bet there's some of that going on in his upbringing here. Yes he's gonna have some big growing up lessons to learn from this experience. I would recommend or suggest for ureself maybe some post counselling to deal wth the emotional put downs etc and to help wth the anxiety attacks. Counselling is really effective in helping. Just to offload is a great way to shift some of that load and guilt off ur own shoulders. Unfortunately for him he's lost a good woman. He's gonna realise that in a big way. I just want u to know that. Link to post Share on other sites
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