DumpedGuy9617 Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 So I began seeing a girl about two months ago. Things seemed to be going great, although they moved a bit fast. We hung out pretty much every weekend, all weekend, and maybe one other day a week. I met many of her friends, who all seemed to like me. She was dealing with a pretty heavy health issue, which I did my best to help her with. She told me she loved me like two weeks ago. I panicked and said it back. A week later, she was acting all weird and when I asked her about it she said we were moving too fast and needed to back off a bit. I agreed, but did say I was looking for a serious relationship. She said she was not, and didn't want to lead me on. Unfortunately I got all drunk and messaged her a bunch of things basically saying I liked her a lot and thought this was a mistake. I knew I was being pushy and annoying, and apologized. I told her I have a tendency to do that, and I know it is annoying and crazy. She said at one point we could still date, casually. I said I would try to stop chain messaging her, and she said "would it be better if I didn't respond?" I sent like 6 more cheesy miss you messages, etc, and that was that. We haven't spoken or messaged each other in a week now. I would like the chance to date her again. What should I do? Wait for her to message me, or just reach out and say hey? I'm afraid I may have pushed her further away, and for some reason it's really bugging me. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Say nothing...she broke things off. She should be the one to reinitiate things. Otherwise, you'll look needy. She went from "I love you" to wanting to break things off. I'd keep it moving if I were you. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 I'm afraid I may have pushed her further away No. You couldn't have pushed her further away, because she was already far, far gone. She told you exactly where she stands. She told you she doesn't want a relationship. She told you she was only looking for casual dating. This is whats called the soft dump. She dumped you, but without saying the words, because she didn't want to hurt you. Sorry to say it's over. You need to move on, and find someone who is on the same page as you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DumpedGuy9617 Posted March 21, 2017 Author Share Posted March 21, 2017 Yeah I suppose you're right. I was just a little shocked by it, being it had gone so well earlier on. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Don't you just hate people who tell you they love you then end the relationship? I really don't know why people do that. It seems particularly heartless. If she wants to end the relationship then it is best to give her exactly what she wants, an end to it. Trying to get her back will only make her think she can dither and that you will be an option if she changes her mind. If she realises you are not going to chase her, then she might have to think again about what she really wants. If she wants you back, then be open to talking but keep a bit of a distance until you are sure she means it. Whatever the ultimate outcome, in the short term there is no point hanging on in the hope she will come back because she chose to end it. Leave her behind and look to meet someone who definitely wants to be with you and can appreciate you for the great guy you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DumpedGuy9617 Posted March 22, 2017 Author Share Posted March 22, 2017 Yeah...I do legitimately think she is not really in a place for a relationship...I have had girls just cold heartedly use me. I don't get that vibe from her. She is dealing with some pretty serious ****. Unfortunately, we moved too fast which will probably complicate things down the roads. Should have taken it slow. I'm sure we will be friends someday, but time to move on for now. Thanks for your replies! Link to post Share on other sites
TheWoman Posted March 22, 2017 Share Posted March 22, 2017 I love the quote below, and it is so true. They can be the most perfect person in the world for you, and not be ready. “Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.” ― Nayyirah Waheed Timing, so often in life, is everything. Let it go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts