BJN31 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Hi Guys, I need all the help I can get at the mo and firstly, thanks for listening. I had been with my girlfriend for nearly 5 years until 3 weeks ago when she told me 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' etc and decided to end our relationship. It's been a real tough time for us both as around 7 months into our relationship I was hit by a car who was not looking where he was going. It changed my life forever, I couldn't go back to full time work, i struggled with short term memory loss etc and instead of my lover she basically became my rock and career. Although physically I am absolutely fine it was just the mental side I wasnt 100%. Anyway, what resulted was a long compensation case which ironically has now just been completed. What is heartbreaking is we had so many plans for our future and could not wait to finally move out of my parents ( I had to move back - could not afford rent somewhere else etc). That had a massive impact on our relationship - we were living in the same room for almost 5 years - in hindsight it wasnt great but she still loved me and I still loved her - we knew better things were to come. Anyway - she decided enough was enough and has now left . What's more heartbreaking is I've found out she is seeing some 21 year old student who also lives with his parents! This is within a week of us breaking up. She is 26 and I've just turned 31 - I know she is drinking almost every night and it's hurting me to see her promising career full flat on it's face. It just doesn't make sense - we've been through so much and with a substantial compensation package - the world was our oyster. Money isn't everything and I know that - it's just so painful I'm completely lost - I have no ideal what to do or how to play this. I'm currently learning to drive - applying for marketing jobs (I can now go back to work) and looking for an apartment. This was meant to be our dream now it's shattered. How do I show her that our journey isn't finished? We've so much more to give. I'm currently doing no contact and improving myself day by day... Any help would be much appreciated Cheers Guys Link to post Share on other sites
AT15 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Well, my suggestion is go noncontact. After a few weeks to a few months, she will feel the separation anxiety and will be ready to talk. In the meantime focus on what makes you happy above and beyond your girlfriend. No one person should be the source of your happiness. Little by little you will become whole and invested in your own self. Also, your gf has had a lot on her plate. She was, for all intents and purposes, your caretaker. She needs to focus on herself and find out what makes her happy beyond that. Give her that space. Stay calm and grateful for the relationship. And she is probably just rebounding, which isn't healthy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ultrashiver Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 It sucks man, but these things happen everyday and something tells me that she might have been seeing this other guy on the side. I think you might want to put this one to bed and try and move on with what you are pursuing in life. She has moved on to someone else and in such a short time span, so she is not worth your time in my opinion. Time heals all and I'm sure you will find your way. That's pretty much all the advice I can give. Hope all goes well with you! Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 It's baffling situation I don't get it either but what I've come to understand woman aren't logical like us men. And they do not tough it out in a relationship wen it gets hard they r out. Funny tho wen things are hard for them they will use there seduction to keep u and then as soon as they are back on there feet they look for better options in ur case tho she's gone backwards. Let her go her true colours have come to light and they are ugly. I just don't believe in woman anymore not at all. Someone once told me they r a necessary evil I hate to sayou it but I'm starting to believe it. I'm sure not all are but they are definatly needs based here's the ****ed thing about that. Each has they're own unique needs so jo matter wat u do maybe u treat em to nice they feel smothered or u work too much to support them they complain they don't see u enough they have way too many expectations and to be honest I don't feel any sense of urgency to be wth one again for a long time that's where u get the term drama Queen makes sense good luck and let her go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
teddyzain Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 So, she bailed with the going got tough. Pathetic and sorry to hear. Same thing happened to me recently and my former (I thought supportive) fiance left a ring and note on the desk. I came home to it and we haven't talked since. She messaged me that she "obviously felt cruel mean and selfish" for wanting her own happiness. I have had 3 seizures since July, a new thing. Anyway, f*ck her, she's not the person you want to be with anyway. If she can't help your "loved" ones when the going gets tough then don't bother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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