Says he wants me back..

[Xo04]

I met a boy about 10 months ago, we got very serious very fast. About a month into our relationship he told me he loved me and I knew I loved him too. I have such a hard time getting attached to people and he came along and changed my way of thinking. About 2 weeks later something very serious happened to him and he landed in the hospital for almost a month. In that month we grew soo close, I got close with a lot of his family, it was a bad situation but it made us stronger. Things were good for a little while once he got out of the hospital but as more weeks passed the more and more inconsistent he got and I got so out of character. I was going through his phone, I was doing pop ups at his house, I was being a total nut case. He ended up breaking up with me, telling me he was going through something and feeling really depressed about how his life has been since he left the hospital and that I was just making it worse with my constant accusations of cheating and lying. I was devastated but I understood. I did a lot of crying but I promised myself I would not call him and I didn't. Like 3 weeks later her called and told me he missed me, that he still wants to be in my life and we should remain friends. We would talk a few times a week but the calls got less and less frequent and before I knew it.. I didn't miss him anymore. I met someone new so I started to ignore his calls. There would be nights he would call 5-10 times and it started to interfere with who I was dealing with. The new guy told me I need to block his number, for some reason I didn't and I realized I wasn't ready for anything serious and I broke it off. I still didn't answer his calls for a few more weeks and then one night he showed up at my house. He ended up staying over, I was so mad at myself, it felt good but I remained cautious and limited myself to answering his phone calls to maybe 2 times a week. So like 3 weeks ago my best friend was over and he called and she was like he's being so persistent just give him another try. He came over, the 3 of us hung out and had a good night. It was refreshing and fun, like it was in the beginning and I missed it and I knew I was in trouble. My heart was in it again, it was good too, we were talking a lot. He kept telling me his missed me and he loves me so much, we were falling asleep on the phone together every night, I felt like I was in high school again! Here's the problem though.. he can text me all day and talk to me all night and make grand plans, tell me he loves me and lets work on getting a place together, whatever whatever but there's no action. He was supposed to come over this morning once he was off work, he didn't show and than got mad at me cause I was mad. It's almost hard to explain but I keep telling him if he loves me I need to be shown, I need him to be physically here not just over the phone and not just with words. I asked him today to please just tell me why he keeps calling me and telling me this stuff just to flake or not show up. He won't give me an answer. I am completely clueless. If he doesn't want me why doesn't he just leave me alone? He calls me, he gets mad when I don't answer, he doesn't want me to date other men but he won't make a REAL effort to be fully in my life and I just don't understand..

[LitTunnel]

Look, I'm gonna be honest with you. Most guys get very complacent once they know they got the girl. Unfortunately the only way they change completely is through maturity and/or devastating breakups that teach them a lesson not to take women they love for granted. This happened to me! I can tell he's very immature, lazy and is not taking you serious so you decide if it's all worth it. And btw, it doesn't mean he cant change, but it does mean he needs to work on his relationship skills and what he's doing is not conducive to a healthy, sustainable relationship. Good luck!

[Justyaaveraggurl]

I'm so sorry you are are going through what seems like a very confusing thing. It sounds like he has something going on emotionally and psychologically. Since his depression started after a long period of sudden sickness, he could be experiencing post traumatic distress which is a form of depression that happens when we experience trauma in our life. Depression can be devastating if left untreated. While in his mind, he may want a relationship, the responsibility and stress of it sounds like something he is not able to handle right now. I would suggest you encourage him to get counseling and support for his depression, and then begin moving forward with focusing on yourself, your goals and your future.