:(

[1077600]

Hi everybody,

I have a big question. My ex and i have been broken up since May: we met again in July for a confrontation (we live in different countries), in which it came out that we still loved each other but can't be together because of distance. I believed him, we were both sincere. Even if I was willing to try he was very sure: he had even started going out with another girl, who he told me was completely different from myself and helped him not to think about me. I know they are still together, frankly it hurts me, because I'm still not over him. He deleted me on fb after a week from our meeting, stating that it was not forever, that we needed time apart, that we had to "recover". Fine. I haven't heard from him in months. I am starting to stop getting my hopes up, but I am still heart broken. We still have friends in common on fb, and I have to be honest, i still look at his profile, even if i can't see anything. But today something happened: I commented on a post of one of my friends who was friend with him as well. Shortly after that, he deleted her. It was a very innocent comment, nothing that regarded him. When my friend told me that, it crushed me, i don't even know why. I really don't know what I did to upset him. Surely he must have seen my face popping up in his newsfeed. I am hurt, because I have/had ?strong feeling towards him, he was very important to me and i was very much in love. I thought he was too, but deleting me from everything was tough for me. Now this too, after MONTHS of separation. It makes me wonder: does he hate me this much? I don't understand, when we broke up he told me that i was so kind and gentle with him, that i am beautiful and funny, and deserve so much. And now I feel like he can't even look at my face, i feel unwanted, and as if I was nothing to him. I can't bring my self to hate him, I can't, even if sometimes I think that if I did, it would be easier. He had no reason to do that, no reason. He has moved on, I haven't and he doesn't know that because he cut me off completely. He probably doesn't even care if this is his reaction to such a stupid thing like a comment. I'm sorry, i'm really upset. Can someone help me find reason in such a dumb behaviour?

[Expectmore]

It is possible that any thought of you hurts him also and thats just his way of dealing with it.

Either way. You have to remember your value as a person and you will be a great find for some one that will love you and fit you .

People often get mixed up with someone that isnt a good fit.

Trust me that there is someone looking for you.

Sit back and open your heart and allow it to happen.

A great person once said that to grow and get to a better place,, you must first remove yourself from the place you are now.

[AT15]

He wants to move on. He doesn't hate you, but men are a little different than women. When they really love someone and can't make it work... It's soul crushing to them. I believe heartbreak hits men much deeper than women. And the emotions that come along with it is very hard for them to make sense of mentally. So they run. They hide. They force themselves to forget about you. They get into new relationships. Some even get married to only long for you an think of you while they are married to someone else.

 

My suggestion is to allow yourself to go thru the trauma. I have been there and it will pass. Keep yourself busy, surrender to the end of the relationship, surrender to the anger, the sorrow and the hope. It's all a process. But, try not to keep tr relationship alive in your mind. They story of you and him. Don't do that. Because you can carry that story for years without giving Life a chance to send you someone better.

 

I hope this helps.

[jorgeg3d]

I think he's just going through the grieving process too hun. By deleting your FB post he's just trying to protect himself. I think anyone would do that. Its nothing personal.

 

You should do the same, grieve and let him go. You have one of the toughest relationship problems to deal with, being so distant that you can't see each other very often. Long distance relationships rarely work.

 

You need to work on yourself, become the best version of yourself. We're all on this site for similar reasons, trying to find out why things happened the way they did. But in the end, there's not much we can do about our situations. If the other party isn't willing to give an effort, its not worth it.