You're not alone

[umirano]

Hey all you breakers and broken-up-withs :-)

 

I just want to say hi as a fellow dumpee (I was last here around my last breakup almost three years ago) and as you can see I'm going through this again.

 

Sometimes I'm really sad or even mad. And sometimes I'm positive with a f.. it attitude.

 

It helps a lot that the previous BU was really devastating and I made it anyway. This forum helped a great deal. Stick around and follow the good advice and you are going to be fine.

 

Good luck wherever you are. Don't despair. In a few weeks things will look ok, and in a few months probably great.

 

It's a battle for time. Treat yourself well, eat lots, excercise and socialise and you'll be back on your feet in no time.

[umirano]

I've boxed most of her stuff today. I've also blocked her everywhere to eliminate the possibility of me stalking her and getting into circular arguments and debates over messenger.

 

To do:

 

* clean up fb profile from photos

* clean up phone from photos

[carhill]

Sounds like you have a healthy attitude about this. Kudos.

 

Lotta time down the road so I can laugh about it now but my introduction to being dumped was finding out my now exW cancelled my health insurance without mentioning that to me. Exciting times those were.

 

You'll know you've made it when you try to drum up some hate and disgust and there's nothing there. You want it to be there, just for old time's sake but it's nada.

 

Life is a wonderful journey. Without those difficult moments and challenges, we'd never experience the difference between them and the joyful and momentous occasions that define our lives.

 

I got dumped a lot as a young guy, and rejected a lot and I thank every last one of those lovely ladies for their contribution to who I am today. I probably like women a bit less than I did but hey, maybe that's a healthy thing. Liking too much can be unhealthy.

 

Oh, Amazon Pantry boxes make great moving boxes. Sturdier than any moving box I've been around. Best of all they come free with the food. Man, I think of all the money I've saved not being married anymore. Epic.

 

Have fun!

[umirano]

You'll know you've made it when you try to drum up some hate and disgust and there's nothing there. You want it to be there, just for old time's sake but it's nada.

 

Yeah... I was really glad when she was leaving the last time was here. She was negative and nagging and moping all the time. But overall the RS was good. I didn't hate her. She's a good girl. A bit too emotional. Very sensitive, but at the same time not shy to hit hard (with words) when she can. We did a lot of fun things together. I miss those days. But it wouldn't have worked in the long run. She was probably right to call it off.

 

I spoke to some family and friends. They are understanding that's nice, on top of the friendly and encouraging LS community.

 

I just found an old thread of mine. Well, it's not that old, just a bit over a year. Apparently I didn't have high hopes then. Huh... what a life.

[TheSwanGirl]

This is a positive thread. Thank you so much. I'm sorry you're going through this, I wish I could help you in some kind of way, because you actually made me smile and reminded me that, in fact, I am not alone.

[umirano]

So glad to hear that This forum is full of so much pain... This is the weirdest BU. I loved that girl, she's great. I want to be with her but I know we're not a match. I'm not mad at her and she's not mad at me. I wish given how many people have to go through break ups they should be like this. Annoying, upsetting yes, but not devastating.

 

Thank you for your kind words, Swan. How are you holding up?

[sharkbite0]

It can really suck sometimes, but I've seen sad times before and have reminded myself to grow from it, face it, feel it, experience it. Then move on and keep living and getting as much out of life as possible. Do good things for people, help others, be caring, be kind, have sympathy, forgive those who do wrong....I don't even mean this in a religious way, I mean this in a selfish way, a way that benefits your personal well-being knowing that you are a good person and deserve good things. life happens.....take the good with the bad and try to enjoy it all.

[TheSwanGirl]

So glad to hear that This forum is full of so much pain... This is the weirdest BU. I loved that girl, she's great. I want to be with her but I know we're not a match. I'm not mad at her and she's not mad at me. I wish given how many people have to go through break ups they should be like this. Annoying, upsetting yes, but not devastating.

 

Thank you for your kind words, Swan. How are you holding up?

 

This is so sweet! I love when exes just know they are not right for each other, even if you still love each other. It says a lot about who you are, and how much you respect other people. Good job, OP.

 

Mine is still devastating, sadly. But at least I don't cry anymore, and I can keep living. I feel very very alone and right now I fear that no one will love me again (I feel unlovable and undesirable). But I guess that's normal when you only had one partner in your 25years of your life.

 

How are you doing now? Do you still talk to her?

[umirano]

No, I've cut all contact. Blocked and removed her from all social networks and deleted her phone numbers. She can send me email though and I think she eventually will because I still have quite a lot of her stuff. I'm curious if she's tried contacting me and how she feels about the NC.

 

I know how bad talking would be. I regret that it didn't work out. A little part of me feels like I'm not good enough. I also really liked doing things with her. OTOH I have been busy and now my first thought in the morning isn't anymore how ****ty my life is without her. Hopefully it stays that way.

 

I understand what you feel like. It will all pass :-) have a great weekend, everyone!