Lansing Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 Curious if anyone has been friends with an EX and then talked to them years later about the relationship and learnt anything valuable about themselves? I have been thinking about my past relationships lately and at the time of the relationship I was thinking I was being "Cautious" and not wanting to lead the girl(s) on without really knowing them well but now I am starting to feel like I was maybe avoidant/trying not to open myself up too much in fear of getting hurt and that I was kind of sabotaging some of those relationships. I had a particular girl really interested in me and I think part of my fear was that she was so interested in me that I felt like maybe she wasn't into "me" but the idea of me/or of a relationship... Maybe I wasn't secure in myself enough. So, I still talk to a few of my EXs from time to time but we never talked about the relationship after the fact. Is it a bad idea to bring it up again or can one learn from having a conversation about it. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 I keep in touch w most exes and we've had those discussions quite a bit (tho usually it's about them - I know myself pretty well). I think they're valuable discussions to have if you can approach them honestly and w the proper perspective (not a plain or hidden effort to get back together, just a debriefing) and make it not about grudges or grinding axes. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 Depends if you trust them and/or value their opinion and if you are able to take the truth on the chin... Its not easy to hear why sometimes. But it can be useful to get constructive feed back. Link to post Share on other sites
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