Recent Ex will be attending Party

[bellabean]

Last week I got dumped after 5 month relationship. This guy swept me off my feet (said I was the best thing that ever happened to him, he loved me, ect.) then dumped me since he decided he did not want a relationship and met someone he was more attracted to while on a recent trip. He broke my heart as it was really unexpected. Normally I have a gut feeling that something like that is going to happen but I didn't. None of my friends expected it either.

 

Anyways, My best friend had invited him via Facebook to her housewarming before the breakup. She goes to university with him and some of their other friends from school are invited as well. The day he ended things with me he said he would likely not be attending the party since it would be too uncomfortable and my friends are still going to be upset with him for hurting me.

 

One weird thing is we talked about weekend plans the day of the breakup and I said I was going to a local festival and he showed up with his friends. This was 2 days after he broke up with me. We didn't get close enough to talk and I left since it hurt seeing him so soon after things ending.

 

Last night he posted in the Facebook party group that he will be coming to the housewarming. It will only be 2 weeks after the breakup. I don't know what to do. It is my best friends housewarming and I know I will be stressed out when I see him. I don't want to pretend I am having the best time ever or try to prove that I am over him. It hurts to think about him never mind be at a small apartment party with him there for a few hours. My best friend hosting is surprised he decided to attend. My ex and my best friend have not talked since he broke up with me. My best friend is thinking about asking him how he feels about the situation and if he thinks it's a good idea to attend so maybe he will get the hint of not to attend but I am not sure if it will be obvious enough. I know I will have to see him eventually but it feels too soon for all this to be happening. It will be unintentionally seeing him 2/3 weekends after the breakup if he comes to this party. I can't move on with this happening. Any thoughts or advice?

[preraph]

It would be a lovely gesture if your friend hosting the party simply asked him not to attend, but it's a lot to ask of her. But if she did, she would be my best friend EVER!

 

Otherwise, tell her you'll arrive late and leave early -- and yes, DO plaster a big smile on your face and bring friends who you know will stay by your side and ask them to do so and don't bring someone who will leave you standing alone. It's easier to fake it while talking to someone. Just throw in a big laugh once in awhile. But do not stay there if you look miserable and he is enjoying it too much. But when you leave, act like you're leaving because you have something better to do -- and then go find something better to do!!!

[JewelD]

well if you live in the same area and have mutual friends, it's bound to happen.

 

As for the housewarming, your best friend should simply tell him not to come. Were they friends before you guys started dating? Regardless, I would prefer my best friend there than her ex bf so I'd have no issue telling him point blank not to come. Especially since he didn't just dump you, he did it because he wanted to be with someone else and had the nerve to tell you that. Like you really needed to know that information.

 

But just try to avoid going places he will most likely be. and if you see him, don't freak out, just try to move around a bit. Maybe go home if it really bothers you.

[Gaeta]

I would not go.

 

It's a house warming party not a wedding. In the big picture it's not important. Don't put yourself through that.

[AlwaysAKL]

I would go early before the party started and leave when it started...that way I could wish my friend happiness and give her my gift and she would not feel slighted because of an awkward situation....