templaardc Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 (edited) I have nobody to talk about so I am going to spill it out here. It's been almos 2 years since me and my ex gf broke up. She was the love of my life and I lost it forever. She was the one that took my virginity and we had amazing times together. I screwed up. I have never been a confident guy, and the abuse of weed daily during my teenage years triggered drained the little confidence i had. With my low selfconfidence i began to not to trust her.. I was always getting mad at her, even for simple things and her going out with her friends.. She was studying in an university about 300 km away from my city and I got to the point where I would visist her on weekends and spend the all weekend on computer playing counter-strike... We eventually broke up, we continued talking for a few months and being together but eventually i stopped trying to insist to talk to her because of her started ignoring me. Almost 1 year after I stopped talking to her (last week) I wrote her a letter. I put my hearth in that letter, I apolagized for all my mistakes and I wished her good. I wasn't expecting any reply. But she did, she replied 2 days later and told me that she enjoyed the letter and that she cared about me aswell. This made me very happy. So a couple days passed i decided to text her. I invited her for a coffe and told her that I had no second intentions on that coffe and that I would understand if she refused. But she didn't answer me.. I wouldn't mind if she had said no, but the fact that she didn't even reply left me in a very bad state of mind... It's been almost 2 years now, and I still love the freak out of that girl, I would do anything for her and it seems it's too late to mend anything. I think I will never be able to realize to I have to pay for the mistakes I did for the rest of my life. It's not to brag myself, I am a handsome 21 year old boy. Maybe if after our breakup i had envolved with some girl maybe the grief would be a lot easier, but I don't have the right state of mind to chase other girls. Today, I cried. It's been almost 1 year since i last cried for her.. It seems that receiving a text message from her and then being completely ignored again triggered a part of me that was deep down there. I just wanted to share my story to whoever is reading it, and tell you to never give up on your loved ones while it's time. I lost the girl of my life and I honestly don't think I will ever get over her, I pray that im wrong about this thought.. Cheers, Diogo Edited July 21, 2016 by templaardc Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Hi Diogo It's done mate. She's not interested and she has more than likely been with other guys. Once you start accepting those two points you can begin to move forward with your life. Block/delete anything to do with her. DO THAT NOW, no goodbye messages or any of that nonsense. Concentrate on YOU, join the gym, travel, make new friends (male & female!) Whenever my ex would enter my head i'd try my hardest to think about something else, in my case it was football. Stay strong, you will get through this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author templaardc Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 Thanks man for your words. It means a lot Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Thanks man for your words. It means a lot Have you blocked/deleted her from everything? Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 I know how you feel. Try to distinguish between love and ego. You love her and miss her, But your ego is hurt as well. I guess you can overcome the love but find it hard to build your ego, because of the break up, your insecurities and the fact that she didn't reply to you. About her not answering your text: She might be involved with another guy, and when she told him (maybe he caught her) about the text exchange with you, he got his own insecurities, made a scene out of it, and demanded her to to cut any contact with you. Boost your ego, man... It's not a shame. Go to dates with other girls. aren't you in the mood to date after 2 years? Than go to counselling. It's way too long. You make her a saint but I'm sure she isn't. Move on and take care of your ego. Link to post Share on other sites
Author templaardc Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 I did, also deleted the few pictures I still had of us. It will be difficult but I have to mentalize myself that im better than all this bull****. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author templaardc Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 If some girl would came up to me and started talking to me I wouldn't say no to her of course. I have always been a little shy and maybe the fact that the "only girl" that I've truly shared all my emotions, my thoughts with left me like I was rubbish dragged my selfconfidence down even more. But yeah I need to step up. I can't continue like this forever, to let 1 girl ruin my all life. Maybe i shouldn't had written her nothing in the first place, because it triggered some emotions i thought were long gone but starting now I will try to do my best to be happy again. Thank you for your reply Link to post Share on other sites
Nightwriter Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 That relationship is burned because of your actions as you admitted. Eventually you will want to pursue another woman. But before you do that, make sure you work on yourself to be a man. Because even if you find another woman, eventually the relationship will settle after the honeymoon phase like it did with your ex and you can't go around playing Counterstrike when that happens. Because any new woman with self-respect will leave you. Women want successful men. It doesn't mean you have to make a ton of money, but it does mean you have to be someone she can be proud of. Because your looks and even personality can only take you so far. Work on yourself before pursuing another long term relationship. Be someone that a beautiful, amazing woman can be proud of. That's your best path forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author templaardc Posted July 21, 2016 Author Share Posted July 21, 2016 Yeah, after some into the relationship, I wrongfully and stupidly thought that I had her in my hand and stopped trying to improve me and the relatioship and settled. I certainly learned from that. I am starting to workout daily, something that I had been postponing for about 2 years and my personality is improving gradually too. Because the daily weed smoking changed my personality a lot, it completely changed me as a person. So im hoping the future is better, it's nothing but a mind struggle I must win. Thanks for your reply Link to post Share on other sites
juniorrocha Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 The first thing you should do is find what is dragging down your selfconfidence as well as removing anything that does you no good. I can already point smoking weed, playing counter strike too much and not exercising. These are changes you're doing for yourself. Remember that. Second, if you're handsome as you say, then you'll have no trouble picking up women; once you start working out or exercising, you'll start feeling a lot better with yourself too. Third, you should work on your career, job, studies, anything that involves your independency. That's the same as working on yourself. Bottom line is: remove anything from your life that may drag you down and improve what's important for you. I've been following that for a month and God, I wish I could tell you how damn happy I've been lately. My ex is barely even touching my mind. Because I became more important than anyone else. Let her go, you had your mistakes, now it's time to improve and learn. Ain't no time to regret. You'll find another awesome girl as soon as you're feeling good with yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author templaardc Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 I completely agree with you, it's easier said than done but I'll try to continue motivated to improve on myself. It's nice to hear from first person someone who is succeding in getting over their ex and improving theirself, it gives me hope. Thank you for your reply! Link to post Share on other sites
fromheart Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Yes, your definitely wrong about thinking she's the love of your life. I always say to myself in these situations, 'She's obviously not the love of my life, because she's gone!' Of course, it really hurts at the time. But don't beat yourself up about your mistakes. And you WILL get to that magic moment when you realize that you are genuinely better off without her. Link to post Share on other sites
asphyxis Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 I always say to myself in these situations, 'She's obviously not the love of my life, because she's gone!' So true. I've been trying to remind myself of this. Convincing myself this is a lot harder than it seems with my emotions high. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 It's been almost 2 years now, and I still love the freak out of that girl, I would do anything for her and it seems it's too late to mend anything. I think I will never be able to realize to I have to pay for the mistakes I did for the rest of my life. Do you mean this? You would do anything? If you mean your words, the action of improving yourself and fixing those things which caused the mistakes is what you should do. Fix yourself to make the perfect you for her, then give that to a new girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author templaardc Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 Do you mean this? You would do anything? If you mean your words, the action of improving yourself and fixing those things which caused the mistakes is what you should do. Fix yourself to make the perfect you for her, then give that to a new girl. @bummer. I mean it and I don't mean it a the same time. I think I still love the way she was, but I have to realize that 2 years have passed and that she isn't the same girl anymore. That's what Im trying to do, improve myself. It's hard but your opinions on this matter have helped me a lot. Thank you for your reply Link to post Share on other sites
Author templaardc Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 Yes, your definitely wrong about thinking she's the love of your life. I always say to myself in these situations, 'She's obviously not the love of my life, because she's gone!' Of course, it really hurts at the time. But don't beat yourself up about your mistakes. And you WILL get to that magic moment when you realize that you are genuinely better off without her. Yeah you're right, it's a very tough but I'll try to overpass that though. What hurts me most is the daydreams, I have a lot of daydreams about her. But i hope I can overcome this battle with my mind. I have to learn to live the present and not be stuck to the past or suffer from anticipation. Thank you for your reply 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author templaardc Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 So true. I've been trying to remind myself of this. Convincing myself this is a lot harder than it seems with my emotions high. I see you are or were in a kinda similar situation. I'll try my best to change the way I think. It's nice to see you are doing the same and succeeding, even if it is gradually or not. I won't lose hope and Im sure we'll make it past this! Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts