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I want to rebuild my life


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This is a VERY LONG and DISTURBING story and I appreciate anyone who reads and offers their advice.

 

In May of 2013 I begin working at a gift shop in the airport. I

would always see this guy whom I found very attractive. I will call him "AJ". Aj would come inside the gift shop I worked inside of to see a corworker of mine. He would come in like everyday because they were buddies.I developed a crush on AJ because he was very charming and handsome. AJ actually works for the airline.

 

I had another friend who worked for the airline and I had confided in him that I had a crush on AJ. We will call this friend "Joe". When I first told Joe that I was interested in AJ he smiled and said that he didnt know AJ like that at least not his personal life(this is a relevant point later in this story). One day Joe told me that AJ actually had a crush on me as well. So Joe exchanged numbers for us. That night AJ and I talked all night through text and from then on he would come and see me everyday inside my job. We still would text alot but one night we had an incident. Basically I promised him i'd meet up with him and I got too tired and he flipped out on me. To be honest the way he flipped out on me scared me and this was a HUGE red flag I should not have ignored.

 

 

The next day after flipping out on me, I seen him at work. He acted like nothing ever happened. ANOTHER red flag that I shouldnt have ignored.

We ended up hanging out alot at his place as months went by. One night he wanted me to come over and Joe volunteered to drive me there being that AJ lived about 45 min away. So Joe, AJ and I all hung out at his house. Joe went to go sleep in a room with a couch and AJ and I watched tv and eventually hooked up. This was my first time ever having sex. Yes that means I was a virgin....I was 23 years old. AJ was 26 btw. I stayed with him that night and Joe drove me home in the morning. By this time it was clear that AJ and Joe were indeed good friends despite what Joe said.

 

I was naive and I figured we were boyfriend and girlfriend by now. The next day I visited AJ at his job it was obvious to me that we were not boyfriend and girlfriend. I was so confused because I really liked this guy and it was so new to me to have sex or even kiss a guy and have them be nothing to you after. We continued seeing eachother after that and I still was falling more hopelessy in love with this guy. Joe mentioned to me during random conversation that AJ has an obssessed ex girlfriend. I brushed it off because as Joe told me, she was an ex.

 

AJ and I continued to have sex for months and I felt like we were getting closer. The summer time came and one day at work AJ seemed very distant. We were walking to our cars together after work and I wanted him to come to my place and he said no because he was meeting "baylee" (a name I will use for her). Baylee is the name of the ex that Joe mentioned. So I asked him if Baylee is his girfriend and he said "no she's just my thing" very hurt and angry I punched AJ in his face. Joe called me very angry about my actions. AJ and I didnt speak for months and then about 4 months later he started to approach me. He playfully asked if he could see me again and joked about the possibility of me punching him again. Like an idiot I gave in. I would always ask Joe if AJ really liked me and he'd tell me that AJ would say "it's more than just sex"

 

Aj had told everyone at his job (the airline) that I obssesively stalked him, followed him to his car and that I wasnt a virgin when he slept with me. I would hear all of this and I would be in disbelief that someone could hurt me so bad. Especially after I had done nothing. As months went on Aj and I would continue to be on and off. Finally one day I looked at Baylees facebook and saw that Aj was indeed her boyfriend. Baylee and I exchanged messages and she recognized me as "the girl AJ and Joe would talk about" ....thats funny how did she know Joe if Joe doesnt know AJ's personal life?? I thought Joe said she was an obssessed ex?? I found out that i actually know one of AJs friends/dance partners. I will call him "Todd". Todd told me that AJ had a bad history with women. One night a group of us went out and AJ showed up. He was very rude to me and it made Todd uncomfortable so Todd and I left early. When I went home I received a text message from Baylee asking if I was with AJ because he had called her and told her I was there. In my dumbness still wanting to be with Aj I brushed her off and told her that I didnt care if she knew and we argued. She told me that she has been with AJ for 3 years and seemed to find me amusing.

 

The next day like an idiot I texted AJ only to recieve a text from Baylee which asked me to not text her boyfriend. She told me she was sitting right beside him. I went off on her and blocked both of their numbers. Todd would tell me that Baylee isnt AJs girlfriend or he said at least he didnt view her that way because AJ didnt treat her as one. Months passed and I found myself back in AJ's bed. DUMB I KNOW. I would go to his place alot even see his son so I figured how could Baylee be in the picture. Around the holidays he went to New York for New Years. He only posted a pic of himself so I figured since AJ is a professional dancer maybe he was doing something with dance.

 

One day I decided to look at AJ's sisters instagram and I noticed that his sister is really good friends with Baylee. Infact she loved Baylee and Baylee was always around for family events and holidays. It became clear that Baylee has indeed been around for years. It was around May of 2015 (yes time flew by) I got hired with AJs airline. To clarify something I never took that job because of AJ. I wanted to fly free.

 

We had a training class for our job for a new system months later. I was placed in class with AJ and Joe. By this time for some reason Joe despises me. Like he literally hates me. In class Joe and Aj are rude to me. Aj is only nice to me if Joe is not present. I was so confused what had I done to Joe?? I reached out to Joe and he said he had no words for me....ouch.... Another coworker asked Joe why he hates me and he said "she was only supposed to sleep with AJ and she made it so much more"....Confusing since Joe told me AJ said it wasnt only about sex. My birthday was in class and Joe and AJ didnt eat any of my cake on purpose.... I really didnt understand what I did. Thankfully months later Joe transferred to another city.

 

I started to distance myself from AJ but whenever AJ saw me he'd do things to get my attention. Even call me a nickname that he always called me. AJ viewed my snapchat story everyday!! I didnt understand. He would puporsely do things so that i'd notice him. Aj spent months trying to get my attention BUT I wasn't satisfied with his chasing because I knew in my heart that Baylee was still around. I found myself even looking at Baylees familys page and i'd see that AJ was indeed in the picture. So AJ spent a few months chasing me. Finally I gave in and AJ and I were sleeping together again. This time around we had gotten very close. We'd message eachother all day and picture message eachother all the time. Aj had started a singing career. He traveled to another country to record his music and he would literally message me everyday allday while he was away. He'd send me picture updates of what he was doing. This is oct2015.

 

By this time at work everyone doesn't like me because AJ has told them that I am a stalker. No one wants to work with me and some people barely talk to me....I felt isolated and hurt. I was the outsider at work.

AJ would always come hang out with me at my apartment and ppl started to suspect AJ was lying because theyd see him and I talking so they began to get skeptical of his stories. Aj would always hang out with me at my apartment. I figured maybe he did actually like me but just didnt want to show it because of the lies he told at work.

 

I felt closer to Aj than ever. I found out That AJ was seeing a new girl. She is AJ's ex bestfriend (they're not friends because of her) ex girlfriend of 5 years. Yes she was seeing Ajs bestfriend for 5 years and they broke up in 2013. I blew up on Aj because I was so hurt. His exbestfriend got in contact with me and told me that this girl is AJs girlfriend and that he and Baylee even stopped speaking because of this girl. This girl randomly messaged me saying that I was nothing to AJ but a sex buddy and that she doubts hes slept with me at all in the past few months and said that I was insecure and she could see why because"look at me". This girl has lip injections and wears a TON of makeup. She just looks very superficial. So much that she looks completely different without makeup....and yet she called me insecure?? so I blocked her. Supposedly they started dating in august I found out about her in Decemeber which is weird since we seemed closer than ever and yes he was indeed cheating on her with me. Also I looked at Baylees instagram and saw that she was the one with him in New york for New Years.

 

So I cut AJ off. AJ started sending me messages on snapchat everyday. I kept ignoring them. At work he'd constantly come to my work area and talk to me. I was friendly but I let him know I am not going there with him. He would message me like everyday even though I wouldnt respond and he continued to do this for months. One day he messaged me and I asked him to stop and explained to him how I was digusted by him at this point and his new gf. He got angry and blocked me.He started to make sexual comments to me at work and I told him if he didnt stop I'd let HR know. The next day at work I was hit with sexual harrassment from HIM!!!!! Ive never sexually harrassed anyone in my life!!!! I saved so many messages from him yet my job seemed to be siding with this guy.

Aj practically stalked me by this time yet he was accusing me of sexual harrassment. Everyone thinks that I sexually harrass him at work and its quite the opposite. I found out also that he's been arrested for stalking women before. I was with Todd at a dance event and we saw an ex of AJ's who he stalked and she seemed so terrified that she didnt want todd near her. This was a completely different girl than the one he was actually arrested for..... Why is AJ doing this when i've never wronged him??

 

Now whenever AJ sees me he makes comments about how im pretty. If a coworker ask me a question around him he will answer for me. Even when someone ask my weight he answers for me. Still attempting to talk to me after his sexual harrassment claims. A few days ago I seen him and he asked me not to smile at him he said I should act bitter and sour like im "supposed to". I didnt say much I just kept walking. He also told me a few days ago that he wants a little girl but doesnt want another babymother....why the hell would he even tell me that??Todd and I are still friends and he and AJ are not.Infact Todd hates any mention of AJ because of AJs shady ways. Bottom line I want my happiness back. This is a life lesson no doubt but how do I pick up the pieces. I want to erase this man from my heart and my memory. I feel so betrayed by coworkers because they know what he's done to me and comment on his facebook pictures with his new gf saying "beautiful couple" ppl who claim to be my friends and know the situation. It just hurts me so bad and I feel so alone. I love my job because I fly free so quitting isnt the answer I want. I now work in an area away from him. so im good on that part. I feel such anxiety when I go to work. I dont trust anyone and I feel like a joke because everyone knows how much I loved him and hes now flaunting a new girl on his facebook for everyone to see so yes I feel humiliated. It hurts me that he never wanted to call me his girlfriend. Was I not good enought?? what did I do wrong?? I just want to be happy again. Yes I know that dating at the workplace is bad. Yes im aware that i was foolish and used... I wake up everyday with a broken heart and now I just need guidance in the necessary steps to finally remove this man from my life.

 

again I know this is very long and i apologize but I just needed to get this out

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Lindsaycaper

Girlllll you have my sympathy!!!! This man is a jerk. I'm glad that you admitted that you were naive and acknowleded your faults. This guy is a complete loser and let me tell you he only cares about himself!! And his new gf will get her karma when he plays her!! Ignore him. And joe is Terrible for how he treated you!! Your best bet is to block him on everything. Don't look his way. Ignore everyone at work. Move forward. This man is not good for you. He's crazy and a complete loser. You're gonna be so strong once you get over this. One day you won't feel a thing.

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