Just smile Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 Tuesday night he called I foolishly picked up and he was sobbing - saying he overreacted and misses me , loves me deeply and really wants to do whatever it takes to save us . Then asked if I was sleeping with anyone ? Huh ? Seriously ? We talked , face timed , I listened and didn't cry once : he said he had a one way ticket to Florida to visit his family and wasn't sure when he would return , claiming he's been love sick , stressed with his business and daughter drama and needed to get away - but quickly said he can't heave me and we'd take the time to rebuild . Next day : after work he comes over and we slept together , And layed in each others arms for hours . The next day we discussed my therapist options because I decided therapy for myself may be beneficial - he then deposited 500$ in my checking account and didn't tell me . I noticed this morning , so I called him on my way into work and he dropped a bomb on me - he said I'm on my way to the airport , I shouldn't of called you but I love you and want you to work on yourself ( huh ? ) . I'm Not sure when I'll be home . One way ticket . And told me his therapist thought it was a good idea he took off for awhile to get his head on straight . I feel like I've been hit with a double whammy I couldn't go into work I was ****edup all day long and he's ignoring me now ... Again . I just don't understand . I'm So sad and feel so lousy and dumb .
Rocci di Persia Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 I've read all your threads. Please go to therapy and stick to NC. You don't need any more emotional abuse from this man. He is toxic. He humiliates you and you keep letting him. You need to regain your self-respect/dignity. The longer you sustain NC, the more clarity of this sort you will have. 3
Satu Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 *I feel like I've been hit with a double whammy I couldn't go into work I was ****edup all day long and he's ignoring me now ... Again . I just don't understand . I'm So sad and feel so lousy and dumb . You are harming yourself by having this man in your life in any degree or capacity. It very truly is a kind of self-harm. You really shouldn't do that to yourself.
Author Just smile Posted January 30, 2016 Author Posted January 30, 2016 I know , but he keeps roping me back in , only the next day to do something like this. He tells me I need help. That it's all me. It's slowing killing me 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 I know , but he keeps roping me back in , only the next day to do something like this. No. No, he doesn't. You let yourself be roped back in. YOU give in. It's not his fault you respond. It's yours. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. This is YOUR doing. If you didn't pick up, if you didn't respond, if you didn't permit yourself to get roped back in, none of this would be happening. so you can 'but...but...but' all you like. The bottom line is that he's not holding a gun to your head. Nobody's MAKING you reply. You - make you reply. so 'I know, but he'... doesn't cut it.... He tells me I need help. That it's all me. It's slowing killing me He's right. It is ALL you. And you need to stop. Because otherwise - it will. 3
Satu Posted January 30, 2016 Posted January 30, 2016 TaraMaiden2 said it all. Only you can make it stop. 1
Author Just smile Posted January 31, 2016 Author Posted January 31, 2016 Here is the clincher I heard from A guy friend that he actually told him that he had an ex girlfriend whom he can visit in Florida and sleep on her sofa , that it isn't romantic , but that I hate her she I'm Jealous . Sooo needless to say I've been right all this time , every time he'd run off to Florida he would go see her as well. This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear to move on .
Author Just smile Posted February 1, 2016 Author Posted February 1, 2016 I'm a mother , grown woman and while I realize all what you say is dead on and I would give my own children the same advice , the mental abuse has me in a fog . Today I start therapy . My mind is not right , clearly. He has humiliated me repeatedly ,,yet will not take accountability for anything , blames me, shares our personal details with everyone , including his kids. I'll never understand why he needs to do that. Then to come crying and begging and pleading he can't stop loving me. Now to hear he's running back to ex girlfriend from years ago. I'm just in much pain
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