She doesn't want me yet wont leave me alone

[aboucher21]

To make this quick, my ex doesn't want me but won't leave me alone or let me go. I broke up with her in April but tried to work things out. She has always said she doesn't know what she wants which I tell her is a no for me. We have always been on good terms and we go to the same college and my roommate is good friends with her so it's difficult. I almost never hang out with her and our other friends because it's hard. I rarely initiate contact but it seems like every few days she manages to talk to me even though she doesn't want to be with me. What do I do here? We had an amicable break up and going NC this far down the road just seems wrong for some reason but it's frustrating and I am tired of mixed signals.

[Blanco]

If anything, NC should seem like a better idea to you than ever before. You now know you can't handle being friends with her, and she's not going to respect your boundaries. So go NC. What are you worried about? That she'll get mad or think you're overreacting? Even so, who cares? What she thinks about you doesn't matter anymore. Do what'll be best for you.

 

What you're trying to do right now, get over the breakup while still being in contact with her, is virtually impossible. It's like you have cancer right now, but you refuse to go the recommended route, opting instead for some new age treatment that'll probably just waste your time without yielding positive results.

[Eloise1]

Is it possible that she is really trying to be "just friends" in an amicable way? If the contact is too much for you, tell her. Girls (and people in general) like when other people are clear with their communication. Beyond that, try not to sweat it. Hang out with your friends normally and if it becomes too much, take a break.

[Samhain]

She can only "manage" to contact you if you allow it. Either continue on the same merry go round or choose to do the best thing and move on. Which means ignore her completely and don't allow her to contact you in any way.

[aboucher21]

Is it possible that she is really trying to be "just friends" in an amicable way? If the contact is too much for you, tell her. Girls (and people in general) like when other people are clear with their communication. Beyond that, try not to sweat it. Hang out with your friends normally and if it becomes too much, take a break.

 

We talked a little while ago about things and I said that if we have a direction to move towards this would be so much easier. I asked her if she just wants to be friends,that's fine but I need to know. If she wants to be together, that's fine I just need to know. She replied by saying "I don't know exactly what I want and I would be lying if I told you anything else". So I decided for both of us, time apart would be best.

[Chi townD]

We talked a little while ago about things and I said that if we have a direction to move towards this would be so much easier. I asked her if she just wants to be friends,that's fine but I need to know. If she wants to be together, that's fine I just need to know. She replied by saying "I don't know exactly what I want and I would be lying if I told you anything else". So I decided for both of us, time apart would be best.

 

Then, it's not fair for her to keep you n the hook like that. It's putting your life on hold while SHE decides what she wants. How is that fair to you?

 

 

Personally, I think she is using you to fill that emotional need for her, until the next guy comes around, then you're kicked to the curb. She knows that you want to be with her. Yet, she still makes an effort in seeing you and speaking with you. Why? Because she knows she can use you to fill that emotional need. To give her that ego boost. Knowing that she's still desired by someone; yet, keeping them at arms length.