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Emotionally/Mentally unstable girlfriend


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Let me start off by saying that we're both 16. Today marks our 4th month dating, but as of a month ago, my happiness with her began to drain. Why? There was a build up of things including muiltple collisions between her and touching guys or guys touching her(She's a Tom boy but claims that all her guy friends are sweet and kind) lying, and simply not doing her part in the relationship. Whenever I talk about a break, or perhaps breaking up, she goes on to say how much of **** up she is, she constantly apologizes and is always crying. She's not a bad person, at all. I know she isn't cheating on me neither but simultaneously, I question what she does with guys when I'm not around. There's been a great amount of conflict within the first 3 months; it was clear to me that I had to break it off. But at one point during our clash as well as some other things that was bothering her, she went as far as to cut herself (she claims she's not depressed or suicidal although she often speaks and act of it). I do like her, and I care about her so much, but I feel that she needs to work on herself before being in a relationship. The only problem is that I'm afraid that she'll do something to herself if I do go through with it... What should I do? :/ thanks.

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Well you are not a psychologist or psychiatrist are you? Let her deal with her issues in therapy with one of those. You are not qualified to "treat" her and you are certainly not responsible for her happiness. You're not married to her and you've only been dating for four months. Four months is still short enough that you can leave her without it being truly hurtful. Not to mention that a girl like this certainly isn't good for your own mental health, you're only four months in and you're already saying there's been a lot of conflict and that this girl has serious mental health issues. Why do you want to be with someone like her?

Fact remains that if you are to break up with her (and if I read your post it really seems that you are) it will bring her down a lot, no matter when you choose to do it. You may as well do it now. If you wait until she has completed therapy and is sort of stable again there's a fair chance she'll just collapse again, mentally. Better to do it quickly.

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bitterbetty14

I know that her cutting scares you and that you don't want to make it worse, but you really aren't equipped to handle that. She needs professional help. You are both so young, and there are so many lessons to be learned. You cannot "fix" her and you didn't cause this. I wish both of you well, but you are right to want out of the relationship.

If I were you, I would mention your concern for her well being and urge her to seek therapy. Does she have close friends and family who will be supportive of her?

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Notsosuperhero

You can't fix something like that. You can't fix something like that. I repeated for emphasis. My ex was a cutter and I tried for two years(and granted I'm much older than you) nothing you do will fix it, they are very deep seeded emotional issues. I can't speak for everyone who cuts but my ex was very unstable and anything I told her something to do to help her she would either write it off as stupid or get really mad thinking I was picking on her flaws or being a jerk for making her feel like she was just being dramatic.

 

Its a lose-lose she won't get any better and you will just take on all the problems yourself and not be able to work on anything with you.

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