letmeknow92 Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I broke up with my girlfriend because she was needy and abit controlling. Back then it was a hell of an annoying thing because we would fight often whenever i talk to another girl. I must admit though that I did gave her alot of excuses that I'm busy, busy, and busy. So I have not much time to talk to her or reply . When I do get a chance to talk, sometimes I would be talking to other people as well and that pissed her off because she thinks that of all the little time I have for her out of my "busy" schedule, I still dont pay as much attention to her as I should. I would sometimes disappear for the whole day without talking to her, and when we get to talk, I'll always say be back later and gone for at least 4 hours. We were together for 3 years and broke up during long distance. During this long distance time, she never once failed to answer any texts i sent, and very attentive to communicate with me. I could tell she loves me so much but i guess i got used to all the nice things she does and i took that for granted because i saw that as annoying. When i broke up with her, she got so broken hearted. I shoved her away very cold heartedly and she went straight into NC. Now three months passed and all i could think about is i miss her nagging and all those annoying neediness! How can those annoying attitudes turn into something i long for at this moment now that im alone! Whats happening to me?! Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Do you want her back? Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Now three months passed and all i could think about is i miss her nagging and all those annoying neediness! How can those annoying attitudes turn into something i long for at this moment now that im alone! Whats happening to me?! As I read your post something was going through my head: "Was she really needy and controlling or was he deliberately frustrating her?" Then I read to the end and saw the last paragraph. In relationships people have a tendency to react to what the other person is doing. When that stimulus is gone they will go back to "normal". Sort of how a guy gets called "cheap" by his exwife only to find out that she was a shop-a-holic and he was simply reacting to the fact that she demonstrate no self-control. It doesn't hurt to contact her, but don't be surprise if she realizes how much less anxiety she has now that you two broke up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author letmeknow92 Posted October 14, 2015 Author Share Posted October 14, 2015 i just realized i dumped the one who really loved and cared for me, thats why she bothered acting all needy. i want her back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 i just realized i dumped the one who really loved and cared for me, thats why she bothered acting all needy. i want her back. Tell her how you feel. Get her back. I'd love for my ex to come to the same conclusion. Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 i just realized i dumped the one who really loved and cared for me, thats why she bothered acting all needy. i want her back. You said that when you dumped her that she went straight to NC, I'm assuming that mean 'no contact'? Truly needy people don't do no-contact, they double down, they beg, they may even stalk, but no-contact would be too difficult. From your OP it sounds like her neediness stemmed from a lack or reassurance from you. If this doesn't change she will likely be needy and controlling if you two get back together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
opalant Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 My ex was exactly the same as you, always too busy for me, it made me go absolutely nuts because I felt like I was losing him and got super needy and annoying trying to speak to him so that didn't happen, he eventually left me because my neediness got annoying. Don't message her unless you can give her the attention that she needs. She obviously felt that you didn't care and wasn't attentive enough and so was 'needy' to try and get you to give this attention to her. If it's just going to be the same as last time, just let her go and let her find someone that will be as attentive to her as she was to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel_22 Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I broke up with my girlfriend because she was needy and abit controlling. Back then it was a hell of an annoying thing because we would fight often whenever i talk to another girl. I must admit though that I did gave her alot of excuses that I'm busy, busy, and busy. So I have not much time to talk to her or reply . When I do get a chance to talk, sometimes I would be talking to other people as well and that pissed her off because she thinks that of all the little time I have for her out of my "busy" schedule, I still dont pay as much attention to her as I should. I would sometimes disappear for the whole day without talking to her, and when we get to talk, I'll always say be back later and gone for at least 4 hours. We were together for 3 years and broke up during long distance. During this long distance time, she never once failed to answer any texts i sent, and very attentive to communicate with me. I could tell she loves me so much but i guess i got used to all the nice things she does and i took that for granted because i saw that as annoying. When i broke up with her, she got so broken hearted. I shoved her away very cold heartedly and she went straight into NC. Now three months passed and all i could think about is i miss her nagging and all those annoying neediness! How can those annoying attitudes turn into something i long for at this moment now that im alone! Whats happening to me?! Well, people become needy when you don't validate them, people become needy because they feel insecure, when you fail to provide them with something so that they can feel secure, my 2 cents here, you will go back to her, you will mingle with her for maybe another 6 months or a year, then you will hurt her again, by justifying your actions and saying, I was mistaken, she is clingy and needy and that we won't work. I wager this will happen again, and you will hurt her again. If you can guarantee that this is not the case, and you are willing to stay with her forever, then go for it. But don't keep your hopes high, since there is a chance for hearing a solid ''no'' since you have hurt the guy and that is enough for that person to reject you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 i just realized i dumped the one who really loved and cared for me, thats why she bothered acting all needy. i want her back. That seems like a reason that comes from a place of insecurity. So what if she loves you? The unspoken assumption in that statement is that you'll never find somebody else who loves you. You sound like the needy one. You shouldn't be with someone because they love you. You should be with someone because you love them. From the sound of it, that wasn't the case: Back then it was a hell of an annoying thing because we would fight often whenever i talk to another girl. I must admit though that I did gave her alot of excuses that I'm busy, busy, and busy. So I have not much time to talk to her or reply . When I do get a chance to talk, sometimes I would be talking to other people as well and that pissed her off because she thinks that of all the little time I have for her out of my "busy" schedule, I still dont pay as much attention to her as I should. I would sometimes disappear for the whole day without talking to her, and when we get to talk, I'll always say be back later and gone for at least 4 hours. My vote is that you do her a favor, and let her go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel_22 Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I broke up with my girlfriend because she was needy and abit controlling. Back then it was a hell of an annoying thing because we would fight often whenever i talk to another girl. I must admit though that I did gave her alot of excuses that I'm busy, busy, and busy. So I have not much time to talk to her or reply . When I do get a chance to talk, sometimes I would be talking to other people as well and that pissed her off because she thinks that of all the little time I have for her out of my "busy" schedule, I still dont pay as much attention to her as I should. I would sometimes disappear for the whole day without talking to her, and when we get to talk, I'll always say be back later and gone for at least 4 hours. We were together for 3 years and broke up during long distance. During this long distance time, she never once failed to answer any texts i sent, and very attentive to communicate with me. I could tell she loves me so much but i guess i got used to all the nice things she does and i took that for granted because i saw that as annoying. When i broke up with her, she got so broken hearted. I shoved her away very cold heartedly and she went straight into NC. Now three months passed and all i could think about is i miss her nagging and all those annoying neediness! How can those annoying attitudes turn into something i long for at this moment now that im alone! Whats happening to me?! By the way aren't you the guy who has been dumped by someone else recently? If the answer is ''Yes'' DON'T DO IT! You are just going through a phase, you don't really want her back, learn to heal and progress, stay single for some time, I can't complain about what you are thinking now, since the same idea went through my mind a couple of times, but be logical you will just hurt her again. Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 We can't tell you what to do, you gotta follow your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
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