bibi123 Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Does anyone think we still have chances of getting back together? Or is his previous behavior unacceptable? My ex and I broke up in January after being together for 6 months. As short as it seems, the chemistry and relationship were something we both never had before. First serious relationship for me. He also was so into me that he wanted to me introduce me to his family (met them on thanksgiving), then he met mine on Christmas eve before I spent xmas with his again. We shared lots of common interests (outdoor adventures, cooking, family moments...travels) and always had amazing moments. we never had a major argument, constantly holding hands, long interesting talks, hugging, kissing...he was very supportive; gave lots of advises while purchasing my very first condo...a very chivalrous guy. I am Christian and he's been an atheist for 2 years now. We got to discuss this from the very beginning before we became exclusive (watched documents and read books in order to understand each other) and were both willing to work on our differences while respecting each other's belief. However, 5 days before his birthday he came to my place with a box that was mailed to him, one of his Christmas gifts that never made it on time. We opened it together and both enjoyed putting that chandelier together and played games that night. In the morning (after we made breakfast together), he brought the marriage/kid and religion question up and I could see this peculiar look on him, telling me that he was prepared for a defensive conversation. That didn't look good at all. I suggested to discuss that at another time, then he gave me a very long & tight hug and a short kiss. After that we both became confused. On the next day we didn't text as we usually do, which was understandable after the cold discussion that somehow turned into an argument where I dumbfounded couldn't say a word but look at my man who suddenly became defensive and gave a one direction mean speech. My heart unwillingly pulled away due to him now thinking that me being "christian" was an issue even though his family also is. I am sure we could agree on something in regards to our future plans...Nevertheless, after 2 days of silence, I contacted him as his birthday was getting close. He told me that he was still sticking to the plan we had but noticed he didn't call me honey that day". I could feel him distancing himself from me. At that point I didn't know if i had to cancel the birthday surprise...the custom made fun shirt, pens/pens case and the custom made birthday card with his name on could clearly not be cancelled. We used to send greetings in the morning and that didn't happen on both parts. we got to talk 2 nights later sharing the "miss you's" but that was it. I sent him a text in the morning of his birthday, no answer. As I was in my way to the restaurant after picking up his birthday cake, he called me to thank me for the text msg and to say he was not gonna be at the dinner. I was completely shocked. Of course he told me a stupid story about him not feeling well, Then also "I thought you got that we broke up 2 days ago!!!". He offered to refund my expenses and told me "I feel like you're just doing all this for you, not me". yes, someone's EGO got turned up to e able to say such mean things!! I had to simply hangup there without saying a word. After analyzing all that, I figured he really planned all this, and actually didn't care about me anymore!! I called my girlfriend to have dinner with me instead. I still had the photographer come and take pictures of everything as planned. I obviously sent him a text later that day saying "I understand that everyone's free to take decision on their lives but you broke my heart" (the after BU emotions I guess). He answered me immediately saying 《I never meant that, I am very sorry. But it's better for us not to talk, it's not gonna be healthy》. That's where I went NC. I have to mention that a week after that break up (over the phone) I went skiing and happened to have lost my keys in the snow. So I had to call him to ask him if I could get my keys back (duugh...who would like to see their ex at that time? ...so weird). He immediately called back and drove 1hr to my place to let me in. He seemed happy to see me. However when I thanked him for coming, he said he was actually planning to call but didn't know where to start". We had a casual talk, then when I asked him about what he wanted to talk about he said "i thought i had to tell you that is was over since i really never said it ". My response was "oh...ok, well i just hope you're happy with that". He tried to kiss me on my forehead as we parted was at the door but I somehow pushed him away with a smile on my face. That right there made him very sad. I mailed him a hand written letter 2months later as I felt bad for pushing him away that night...also because I thought I needed a closure - even if I knew I still hadn't moved on. The letter basically said that I still was happy that I had known him and his family, reminded him of the great times spent together, told him what I was gonna miss but wished us both the best of luck as he still deserved a better send off. He sent me a card telling me that he got my note and how thankful he was, and how much he appreciated that. He mentioned that those months had been very hard on him that he neither could sleep or work properly. Anyway, it's now been months...He recently sent me a couple pictures of his recent trip and asked me about my past and next trip....I can tell he has been hot and cold at the same time but he definitely feels more comfortable talking to me now than he did in his previous emails. Since we've been talking about each other's trips, I asked him if he could help me pick my hiking gear at an outdoor store (That was the very first text msg from me in 8 months) and he promptly answered saying "of course"! I am glad to see him after months and surely plan not to talk about us but just have a great time while exchanging news as there is no awkwardness now. I am sure he is seeing someone; it may not be serious but that's a fact...I still love him though.
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