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Posted

Dated this awesome girl for 5 months and everything went great! We had a little fuss with each other one day over some things in her past that she lied about and after that she decided that we needed to take a break! I didn't show my butt or even get upset I just said if you think that's best then I'll step away and give it to you! We both are divorced parents and our kids we're involved also and they got along perfect and loved playing and being with each other! As much as it hurt we started the nc thing and after a week she sent me a message that said and I quote "do not respond but I just wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you and hope you and the boys had a great weekend" just trying to make sense why she wanted this but texted me! I'm not the type of guy to chase after a women whatsoever and reguadless of how I feel about her I want do it! Just trying to get some advice because I've never done the whole break thing! Thanks!!!

Posted

She didn't break your NC by sending that, but your responding to it would. As for why, the likely reason is because at the time she meant it. Kind of a sh*tty thing to do though, send a message like that when you're both agreed to go NC and tell you to not respond. Disrespectful of your feelings and your recovery. Best to block her entirely unless you want more of the same.

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Posted
She didn't break your NC by sending that, but your responding to it would. As for why, the likely reason is because at the time she meant it. Kind of a sh*tty thing to do though, send a message like that when you're both agreed to go NC and tell you to not respond. Disrespectful of your feelings and your recovery. Best to block her entirely unless you want more of the same.

 

Yea I agree dude! All these games kill me and it's sad to see that at 32 years old it's still one big game! I've been divorced for 2 years now and she was the first women to meet my kids and that really makes me mad that I got my kids involed and she needed a break because she got called out on some stuff! Women! Haha!

Posted

I agree with Ziggy.

 

 

Don't reply to that non-sense. I'm sure she was just seeing if you'd reply and she still had power over you.

 

 

It's a very ominous sign that this R/S sustained a break up at only 5 months when most people are still in the "honeymoon phase" and still all gaga w/each other.

 

 

Unless she contacts you and says she wants another chance w/you, ignore her reaching out to you. If she does tell you that she wants another chance, you have a decision to make. Again, bad sign to break up so early in and it might be better to look for someone more compatible.

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Posted
I agree with Ziggy.

 

 

Don't reply to that non-sense. I'm sure she was just seeing if you'd reply and she still had power over you.

 

 

It's a very ominous sign that this R/S sustained a break up at only 5 months when most people are still in the "honeymoon phase" and still all gaga w/each other.

 

 

Unless she contacts you and says she wants another chance w/you, ignore her reaching out to you. If she does tell you that she wants another chance, you have a decision to make. Again, bad sign to break up so early in and it might be better to look for someone more compatible.

Thanks for the comment! Yea I just deleted it as soon as it came in and went on about my business! I agree about the R/S ending after 5 months is a bad thing! Keep on keeping on!

Posted

Umm I'm might be the only one but I think you should respond.

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Posted
Umm I'm might be the only one but I think you should respond.

I was thinking the same thing this morning but I just don't know! Why do you think I should respond?

Posted

The only reason to respond would be to WANT more drama, emotional BS and to potentially re-start dating someone you were not compatible with.

 

 

Solid, healthy, loving relationships build a core foundation the first 6 months to a year of a relationship. You can't build anything on a foundation that includes a major crack (break up) in it already.

 

 

I learned decades ago through failed R/S's that you know by 6 months if the connection/compatibility is strong enough to continue. I think this is why so many relationships flame out at around 6 months. The excitement and honeymoon phase eases and people see they are really not compatible.

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Posted
The only reason to respond would be to WANT more drama, emotional BS and to potentially re-start dating someone you were not compatible with.

 

 

Solid, healthy, loving relationships build a core foundation the first 6 months to a year of a relationship. You can't build anything on a foundation that includes a major crack (break up) in it already.

 

 

I learned decades ago through failed R/S's that you know by 6 months if the connection/compatibility is strong enough to continue. I think this is why so many relationships flame out at around 6 months. The excitement and honeymoon phase eases and people see they are really not compatible.

I agree 100%! Thanks for the kick in the butt!!

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Posted

I left out a key piece of information on this and I'm sorry! When we first got together she was separated from her husband of 10 years and was officially divorced 2 months into our 5 month relationship! I know she has a lot to deal with now and knew what I was getting into and knew I shouldn't have but the heart is a funny thing!

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