BriNyc82 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Hey guys just throwing this out there. This forum has helped me in so many ways with everyone's support and comments. Hearing everyone's stories and knowing that I am not alone in this has been very comforting !!! But I question if it is enabling me to carry out my obsession with my breakup. Am I just reliving it over and over and talking about it so I won't let it go? Is that healthy? Am I keeping this pain alive? Today I feel angry that he got what he wanted. He gets to be free now and he doesn't need to grieve this relationship bc a relationship isn't what he wanted. He doesn't feel that sense of loss like I do. I flip flop from seeing him as this awesome guy (pedestal version) to this insensitive cold dismissive hostile guy once it ended. They couldn't be more night and day. Do you think the version we are during a breakup is who we are? Surely I haven't been a saint during this breakup either and I hate that he will remember me so emotional and weak. "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"
ravfour4 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Yes, it does enable you and give you a spot to continue to talk about it. It's a pro and a con. It's a pro because you can vent whenever you want which can help you unload emotions, process what is happening and feel better. It's bad because it allows you to do that infinitely while your friends and family will eventually cut you off, much sooner than this website will. 1
AIJ Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Most probably, yes. I used to be obsessed with this forum, on here most hours of the day. Haven't been on here in a couple of weeks. Probably best you try to avoid this site. Reading about what others are going through is most likely acting as a trigger for you and keeps you fixated on your breakup 2
mightycpa Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Most probably, yes. I used to be obsessed with this forum, on here most hours of the day. Haven't been on here in a couple of weeks. Probably best you try to avoid this site. Reading about what others are going through is most likely acting as a trigger for you and keeps you fixated on your breakup I think it actually allows you to spend that obsession. You're even beginning to second-guess the time you spend here right now... that's progress! 1
Author BriNyc82 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 So now I need to continue no contact with him and love shack hahaha 1
learnbyliving Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Yes, forums like this and others I frequent are both good and bad for healing. At some point I realized I was wasting HOURS scouring topics, wanting to find people going through the same thing I was. I resolved to not come here in the morning because that starts the day off wrong, nor allow myself to check in at work. That helped a lot for awhile. In the past few days, I'm going through a rough patch again so my self-discipline has weakened
Author BriNyc82 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 I guess it's better to self reflect than keep it bottled up and not heal. I think what tends to happen with me is I usually have an "a ha" moment and say ok enough is enough. And then cold turkey I'm pretty much over it. But I'm not there just yet. Yet......
erklat Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I took a pause off this forum for some months last year. I kept looking for hope and it delayed my progress. When I grew out of my panic attacks I returned to contribute It's definitely possible. Most people in the beginning come here to look for hope.
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