a narcissistic woman friend. dump on not to dump?

[harvej]

I am looking for your advice. If you had a girlfriend (she wants romance but I cannot pursue until my divorce id's final). She is just a friend and has been for a few years. I do have reservations due to some personality issues that I cannot reconcile and woll be a problem. She is an extremely Narcassist and admits it. All the class traits from self absorbed to literally cutting you off mid sentence regardless of topic your on. I could be talking about my mother who passed and she would literally switch topics mid sentence to something about her. So I decided to not pursue romantically and stay friends. This is where it comes down to the reason I submitted this topic about asked for advice. 8 can remain friends with her but have made mutual friends with her friend circle. I am a musician and held a benefit concert for my late best best last weekend. His family flew in from the US as dis other musicians. So it was a memorial event and family reunion concert. I was swamped with performing and band logistics. My friend shows up with two others and literally disregarded my time and started fake flirting with me in front of all my friends and soon to be ex. I was pissed as it was inappropriate and wasn't about her. She touts being a benefit bout good a Christian all day but always behaves towards others far from what she preaches. In this case, she tried to hurt my soon to be ex wife's feelings while upsetting everybody else with her behavior. I took great offense to this and told her she was becoming the elephant in the room. She then flipped me off and left the concert. I have not heard from her since. My question is, should I part ways as a friend with her given her NPD, and this also comes at a cost of losing the friends I made in her circle. Should I write a final letter telling her why I reacted that way, or go No contact and part ways? Does she even deserve my friendship? BtW, she started an argument with with me with me hours after I buried my mother. So she lacks the empathy for others that comes with NPD. I am at a cross roads about our friendship and am so pissed at her behaviour that I an re evaluating whether I want her in my life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for typos I had eye surgery and am sending this via voice to text. Thank you.

[Ronni_W]

It is NOT kind or "nice" or "polite" or anything "good" to just keep catering to other people's misbehaviour, ego-expectations or selfish demands. NPD is just excessive selfishness; we don't need drugs to control that, we need kindness and consideration in our hearts...and we alone can decided to change our selfish ways for more loving ways.

 

It's not about what she deserves but what YOU deserve. Casting our pearls before swine -- especially when we choose to do that consciously, willingly, voluntarily -- is just not for the highest good of anybody.

 

What she does have coming to her are the true and proper consequences of her own free-will choices and decisions to act inconsiderately, selfishly, as if she is the only one who counts for anything.

 

If you do, voluntarily and of your own free will, decide to keep giving positive while getting only negative in return; if you do decide to maintain this "friendship" for whatever reason(s) your own ego can come up with, then you are, by default, giving up any "rights" to bitch about her ever again. Really. Because you already know what's coming, and you'd be CHOOSING to have that in your life and your energy field; you'd be CHOOSING that experience for your own self.