mickleb Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 This article is very good at thoroughly explaining what you're going through. It confirms that no contact is the best way to go and tells you why. One of its key strengths is to help normalise a lot of those crazy feelings you're having. I hope you find it helpful. https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201505/its-over?collection=1073568 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) Great article, summarizes many important topics. I learned that my name is Lakshmi The female variant of Eric (my ex) actually replayed in an element of the early event. Definitely experienced that the last 1.5 years. I did miss how anxious people often end up in relationships with avoidant attached people. Articles like these should be read by anyone or taught on high schools, so much elementary knowledge! Unfortunately I guess many people will think this article is way to long to read. Edited July 3, 2015 by Itspointless Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 That story about David and Anna was brutal. What a sociopath! I was surprised to see the point about people experiencing "growth" after something like this---I felt that very much. It's like some dormant emotional intelligence was suddenly awakened in me. Great article! Link to post Share on other sites
OldSoul86 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 That is a good article. I wish that there had been some examples of people who dump others. A lot of the articles I read online vilify the dumper. There are dumpers who try to dump their partner in a dignified manner - and still take the brunt of emotional abuse after the fact (in my case, nasty emails.) Link to post Share on other sites
54JA Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I bookmarked the article. It was interesting! Link to post Share on other sites
Rainmkr555 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 What if no contact is NOT an option though? Such as in my case where I work with the woman who is the cause of my heartbreak. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 "Lakshmi began to recognize that the pain she was suffering over the relationship had merged with her unresolved grief from the loss of her father, who had died when she was 10." Is it safe to say that most exes come back because of the neglect they suffered from a parent of the opposite sex due to a fear of never finding anything better? "The lovelorn are essentially tying a crucial life goal, like their self-worth, to having or continuing a relationship with a particular partner. “They idealize that person as the solution to that higher-order goal,” I did this in my relationship. I always wanted to move in with a girl, start a family, and have a kid together. Although the relationship would get a little rocky at times, I didn't want to discard her because I just knew I couldn't find anyone better than her. Plus, we came so far so why ruin it now? "Depression also plays into how a person copes with rejection. To some extent, there’s a chicken-and-egg situation at work: While a breakup can bring on major depression, someone who already suffers from untreated depression is apt to have a harder time coping" Well, I have suffered from depression since I was young so this makes a lot of sense. However, I don't believe depression is ever treated or cured, it remains dormant. Overall, great article. I thought it was very interesting and informative. It helps me understand my situation a little better now. Btw that David and Anna story is really ****ed up. But I don't understand how you can go that long without knowing... Link to post Share on other sites
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