changeofseasons Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Was seeing an emotionally unavailable guy on and off for 10 months. Already started NC and im blocking him out completely as soon as i find out that im for sure not preg, due to weird symptoms i've been having lately. So this is the guy i lost my virginity to and first kiss. Huge ass mistake, obv. I've cried over this a million times during the past 10 months but decided to keep on going just to see if things would change. So i honestly feel like i've been grieving the whole duration of the "relationship" (i never got commitment out of it, but i'll just call it that) and now that i know that it was pretty much just a game i feel like there's no need to cry over it and well..i just cant seem to. I want to get over this the healthy way, but i feel like i havent been able to let my emotions out anymore. I dont want to use distractions, i want to feel and accept it so i can go onto a healthier relationship but i feel stuck. i also think, maybe this is a good thing, why waste anymore of my precious time on him? It's just unusual for me to be ok with something that is usually traumatic, I feel hollow right now. Any suggestions? 1
elaine567 Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 You have done your crying already, and breaking up when there is a good cut and dried reason to do so, is far easier than when there is no good reason but just a feeling it "probably" won't work out. When it is clear cut then there are no if, buts or maybes and that means you can go cleanly on to the next stage of your life without worrying, "Have I done the right thing?" Let's just hope you are not pregnant, but once that worry is out of the way I am sure you will feel much better. Go and buy a test now. 2
Satu Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Start writing. Write about how you feel. If you don't feel anything, write about not feeling anything. Write about your dreams. Write about your hopes. Write about your fears. Write about who you are. Who are you? Write about what you want. Write something crazy and weird. Write good and bad poetry. Write about things you remember. Write about things you'd like to forget. Write a page of nonsense words that don't mean anything. Write about a place you'd like to visit. Write about things you'd like to do. If you do this, you will amaze yourself. Take care. 1
lauri Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss. My advice would change depending on what the situation is with you being pregnant. Sometimes, you cannot help the way you feel. The unemotional man is something you were attracted to for a while, for whatever reasons, and I do not think you should be so hard on yourself. There has been times where I met people who I know are bad news for me but I was so drawn to them. The key I found to avoiding them was not allowing myself to develop further feelings by being around them, talking to them or letting it go further than it should. If you are pregnant, you need to obviously keep in contact with your ex. The child deserves both parents and I hope that you two could be civil for the child's sake. If you are not, then you need to go no contact and start to heal. It is the most effective tool you can use to heal. It won't be easy, but it would in the long rub make you indifferent and capable to love someone more worthy of you. Keep me posted if you are pregnant or not. 1
Author changeofseasons Posted June 26, 2015 Author Posted June 26, 2015 Thanks you guys. I really doubt that i am, and i think the symptoms im getting are too soon to be the real thing but im just making sure. I think in the end it'll all be good 1
lauri Posted June 26, 2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Thanks you guys. I really doubt that i am, and i think the symptoms im getting are too soon to be the real thing but im just making sure. I think in the end it'll all be good Also, a word of advice, please do not claim you are pregnant to your ex unless you are 100% sure. This could complicate things unnecessarily and could cause significant issues. Avoid all contact from now. Make sure to get the test, if you are clear of pregnancy, block him out of your life forever. 2
Author changeofseasons Posted June 27, 2015 Author Posted June 27, 2015 TMI i was going to buy pregnancy tests today but i got my period! and honestly this goes to show how unhealthy i am right now/how toxic he is because im honestly a little bit bummed that im not preg but im sure later on im going to be glad lol
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