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My girlfriend of 6 yr cheated for over an year with her best-friend

Bluimes

By Bluimes
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Bluimes New Member

Bluimes

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Hey guys,

Well to be really honest I would have never thought that I would be writing this story on the internet, but here I’m. To get to the point: My girlfriend for almost 6 years left me for her best-friend after cheating with hem for over a year. I’m now 28 en she is 27.

 

To get this story short. When I met her 6 years ago I was climbing up after I was hit many time by life. The last five years I grew so much… I defeated all my haunts from the past, got almost highly educated and I’m still going as a rock. 6 years ago, she was there for me on the moment I needed her the most. We had some great years with a lot of fun and love.

 

However problems where arising. First, after 4 months relationship this guy, a lifetime friend of hers, kissed her at a party. She told me she pushed him away and in the same night she called me to confess. I was heartbroken, but I believed she didn’t want this to happened. Although I knew this guy was getting a problem. So I was talking about the problems. These emerge when I was growing to the top and she was failing on many fronts. She was a drop-out at her bachelor and got fired… I picked up her pieces and tried fixing it again. I have payed some of her debts en took care for her. She started a new education but also having a hard time to pass the classes. Now again she is at the point of dropping-out. Strangley I noticed her slipping away for about 1,5 years now. She had no ambition, no goals or a realistic view of the future. She went a lot too her football club and she partied a lot around it.

 

So last year, when I was working my **** of for a better future life knocks in. On the day I was working and not studying she cheated on me at our home. I found out last year when I found a unknown phone in the bag of my girlfriend. Fast after that she admitted that she had invited him to our home. At first she told me that they didn’t had sex but that she stopped him because she felt guilty. So I tried to understand where this came from. I figured out I should make her feel more special and take care for her. We went to a city and stayed in a hotel for a few days. Trying to renew our vows or however you may call it. unfortunately this didn’t work out as planned. I tried so hard en kept fighting, but the harder I pushed the further she would go away. Last December I realized this was going downhill and there was not much to fight for. In this spring I had some long travels through Europe . This helped me getting a new perspective and I started realizing I was missing some parts. It just didn’t ended up.

 

Well bottemline… I knew she was hiding a lot for me. She never would let me watch her phone or something like that. So I looked at the bills and found a strange number, with long phone calls. It was the dude who she was kissing 6 years ago and whom I found the phone from last year. It felt like my world was falling apart. It hurts like hell. With all these emotions I confronted her with the fact. At first she becomes mad and goes in denial. But when I’m at the point of losing myself she starts to confess…

 

She tells me first that it happened a half year ago and they had sex 4 times. I asked her why and she told me that she lost herself and she didn’t knew what she was doing. She also tells me she loves me very much, but just can’t deal with the situation. She loves him also and she thinks he is making her happy. For the last year they share their days on daily basis. Date with each other behind my back and this and that. I was so angry and I told her to leave immediately. So that it was and she took some stuff to go too her family. The day after she comes to get her big stuff. In the beginning I was at home and we talked briefly. There she admitted that a year ago they did had sex. So when I founded the phone it all happened. I was so angry and I almost lost it…. after a few days I talk too her again…

 

I figured out that de details where not counting right. She pointed out more locations than the times she had sex. So I confronted her and after a long struggling she finally admits that it has been more… Something like 6 and 7 times. And I was like: why the **** would you not say that in the first place, like it makes a difference? So I already know they **** the **** out of each other. Now she wants to be with him regarding the pain i’m suffering.

And for real, I’ve had some nasty experiences in life with all kind of stuff. But this is different, this is I think one of the most, if not the most cruel experience I’ve ever had. And I don’t know how to handle with it. My house is empty, I see my sad dog who doesn’t know whats happening. And I can hardly see a future now…

 

I’m going to move to a new place with a new start. But I also need to perform at school and at my work. I’m an honours-student but I’m failing like an drop-out.

 

Please help me.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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Do NOT drop out. You drop out, then she wins. DO not give her the satisfaction of know that she effected you so much that you lost out on your education because you didn't have the will power to go on. Don't give her the chance to pity you.

 

 

You're hurting right now and I get it, but don't lose focus to what's really important.

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davidromero43 Established Member

davidromero43

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Get rid of anything that reminds you of her. Hook up with a 2am bar chick. But don't get caught up in a rebound.

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Bluimes New Member

Bluimes

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You're so right I should never drop-out of school. As I will not, these are my life goals. I got the summer to recover fully and then next year I come back swinging.

 

About that 2 AM bar, is that not a bit too early after a week after she left?

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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Dude, you need to get revenge and the best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good and adventurous life!

 

 

Dude, forget the chick at 2AM in the bar. I understand where he's coming from. Get a girl that's going to build up your self esteem as a man again and be a distraction from what's happening. But, don't worry about girls right now. Focus on you and your healing.

 

 

Keep busy! That should be your focus. Make plans for an incredible summer. Go on camping trips with friends. Go to music festivals. See a baseball game. HAVE FUN!!!!

  • Like 1
Fugu Established Member

Fugu

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When someone cheats on you even just once, it's probably a good time to move on. If you're married with children and your partner's generally had a good track record up to that point and went of the rails during a difficult phase in your relationship, that might be one thing - I could give someone a second chance in some situations. But the whole point of dating before marriage is that it's an audition for the real thing. If they fail the audition...find someone else for the role.

 

Of course that's all hindsight.

 

Others have given you good advice. Try as much as you can to break things down into small chunks. Focus on what's right in front of you. Take care of any exams or papers you have to do. If you're failing, maybe it's possible to speak with an academic adviser and just explain why you're having problems and to see if there's a way to get a second chance. You could approach your boss and do the same. Hopefully they're both sympathetic people.

 

Get her completely out of your life. Put her stuff in boxes, tell her to pick it up, and that once she's out the door, it's completely over and that she's not to call or text ever again unless there's unfinished business (i.e. bills not paid, etc). Start over. You can survive this. People have survived much worse.

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lauri Established Member

lauri

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Some very valuable lessons for you and many others who read this site through your story.

 

Your ex should have been cut off the minute she kissed another man. This shows me that she has bad judgment...she put herself into a situation which ALLOWED herself to be kissed by this other man by probably flirting, teasing him and leading him on. This is not someone you want to commit a long term relationship to. Your first mistake was letting her get away with that so easily - you relieved her of her guilt.

 

The only reason why she has been with you all this time is because she has been unable to get her "best friend" to commit to her. If she had the opportunity to get him to commit, she would have left you much earlier in the process. Also, she is going to continuously lie to you and make up stories which don't make sense (as they are half truths). She was having sex with him hoping that eventually that would make him want to commit and be her boyfriend...she loved the chase and the way he made her "feel". As much as that hurts, its the truth of how it was with her.

 

Also, HOW DARE YOU let this woman ruin your life?? You're thinking of dropping out and you're doing bad in school? There is absolutely no excuse for that. I understand you are hurting but why would you let this girl do that to you? You cannot blame anyone but yourself for this.

 

Tell me honestly, what girl is going to want to be with a man who cannot hold himself together and get through tough things in life? You need to be a rock - not for other women, but for yourself. Do not make some stupid mistake and run away from everything because of her. I want you to be able to live an amazing life, succeed and become successful in things you love. If you do this, your ex will look at you and regret everything she has done - because she left a real man. Funny thing is, once you reach this point, you won't even care that she wants you back or has noticed. Look at today as the first day you're going to take to self-improvements and indifference.

 

Trust me man, you've dodged a bullet.

Edited by lauri
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Bluimes New Member

Bluimes

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Thank you very much for these good advices. Guys, you really helped me figure it out.

 

The truth is hard to handle as they both leave their lovers to be with each other. Well let them indeed both cheat, I shouldn't care at all.

 

Lauri, thanks for your motivational speech. I had to cry for a second but it's because I know you're totally right.

 

Today I worked my ass off. I got all her last stuff to one corner which I will drop before her parents door the next day. A big clean up and some tough training will bring me through this. I will recover...

 

Cheers!! ;)

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lauri Established Member

lauri

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Thank you very much for these good advices. Guys, you really helped me figure it out.

 

The truth is hard to handle as they both leave their lovers to be with each other. Well let them indeed both cheat, I shouldn't care at all.

 

Lauri, thanks for your motivational speech. I had to cry for a second but it's because I know you're totally right.

 

Today I worked my ass off. I got all her last stuff to one corner which I will drop before her parents door the next day. A big clean up and some tough training will bring me through this. I will recover...

 

Cheers!! ;)

 

You will recover and become something better.

 

I'm sorry if I came off harsh, I just think its a shame to see anyone lose / do poorly because of a woman (or child?!) who isn't even worth your time.

 

Once you get back on your feet, your ex will come back to sniff around and try to figure out how you moved on (because, you know, she's so "special" and you should be in pain and dropping out of school). Don't respond. Let her wallow in her misery knowing she left someone with so much potential. You sound like you're good at school and will have a great future ahead of you.

 

I'm glad you're not going to let some low-life girl take that away from you. When she comes back to you, make sure to post and vent here. Do not respond. Do not be weak.

 

She had her chance and now it's over for her. Remember, she lost, not you. You're going to win and become something great.

 

Proud of you man.

  • Like 1
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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When I was at school, I was healing from a brutal break up. So, I set myself up with goals and rewards. I got job on campus to help me make sure I could afford the rewards. It helped me stay focused, got me motivated and gave me something to shoot for and achieve.

 

 

If I knew I was going to be taking a hard course, I would make a deal with myself. If I got a B in the class, then I would treat myself to a deep sea fishing trip in Key West. Then, during the semester, I would spend time looking at fishing packages. I would spend time rating hotels. I would spend time rating the restaurants down there and places to go! This would distract me from thinking about my Ex in my free time. And if I hit my goal, I took a long weekend and enjoyed the sun and surf!

 

 

Now, it doesn't need to be a trip. It could be a new smartphone that's coming out, or a PS4 or tickets to a sporting event.

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minimariah Established Member

minimariah

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use all of this as a huge motivation. DO NOT DROP OUT!

 

allow yourself to grieve, push yourself into work and going forward, into making yourself an even better man. GO STRICT NC.

 

put her things and all that stuff that reminds you of her in a box and put it away until you're ready to deal with the memories.

 

you got rid of the dead weight, trust me.

you'll reallze that once the enough amount of time passes.

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Bluimes New Member

Bluimes

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@Lauri

 

Don't worry about being harsh as I needed to realize it. It's indeed messed up that she, with all her wrong intentions, has so many bad influence. For that I'm already at a point of hating.

 

But regardingless of the fact that I hate her I can't stand the idea she is -pretending to be all happy - with this 'best friend' of hers. It's so damn frustrating that it all was happening and I couldn't accept to see what I was already seeing. The idea of him giving her more, i.e. bed, is gut-wrenching. The stupid idea that he is a painter for living and he has no ambitions or what so-ever buggers me the most instead off making it a joke. It's just the idea of being replaced by some random dude who she thinks is her lifetime 'man'. It just burns me from the inside and the feeling keeps coming back. This of course all besides her doing this to 'forget' me.. Well, I wonder in what stage she would be in regarding the 'forgetting' as she is already long gone.. I mean she has been sharing all her private stuff for so long with this guy. And there is that what we all where experiencing. A double life to the full extend of it. This goes beyond one can imagine.

 

It's so painful after all these years. She confirming that what we had was basically nothing and she threw it all away, like that.

 

But tomorrow it's working day which I will just do as always. Then in the evening I'll go to the new gym where I just signed up. After that I WILL force myself into studying. Maybe I'll go with Chi townD his advice and start finding some goals and rewards. Easy plain goals could help me in this situation.

 

@ minimariah

 

I will sure not drop out and let her win. I just need to find a place for her cruel actions which she did and is still inflicting on me.

 

And it's what you say about time. It makes me almost feeling silly for writing all these long walls of text. Because I quite know that time is my friend here. But I just needed to vent and besides that the reactions are really helping me!

Edited by Bluimes
Kevin_D Established Member

Kevin_D

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It was really painful to read this.

 

Some women (the vine swingers) can't stand the thought of being alone. They are empty inside, so when they find a new "target", they start mirroring them.

 

This is really dangerous. It happened to me as well. You're having a rough time in your life and suddenly your soul mate enters your life. You feel like you could tell her anything. She looks deep into your eyes and say "No matter happens, I will always be there for you".

 

You finally feel safe and secure. Your energy is back. You're so thankful that this wonderful person showed up at the right time in your life, so you want to help her with her problems and declare your love for her all the time.

 

This is exactly why this little parasite attached herself to you from the beginning: NARCISSISTIC SUPPLY

 

After a few years, you realise that it doesn't really matter how much you help her. She will keep finding new reasons to drop out, quit her job and so on. You're getting tired of all these excuses, so you try to talk to her about it, instead of just telling her how she can accomplish anything, like you did in the beginning.

 

This is when she starts pulling away. She's not stupid, she realises that you see through the charade. Now she must quickly find a new source of narcissistic supply. A "friend" is perfect (happened to me as well), because she can easily find out if he wants her before pulling the plug. She starts mirroring his personality instead; Tells him how bad you treat her, how she tried to make the relationship work, but that she can't take being treated this way anymore. He will now feel exactly how you felt in the beginning, completely blind to the fact that she's a master manipulator.

 

These women treat their partners like mobile phones. They can't be without one. They'll use it everyday. Bring it everywhere. Take tons of photos with it. Listen to music. A day without the phone is unthinkable. Until phone day...

 

The phone doesn't support the newest apps. The battery life isn't what it used to be. And there's a scratch on the display. It still works though. For fun, she goes to the store and try a new model. It's love at first sight! Suddenly she can play that new mobile phone game, which her old phone will never support! From now on, every time she uses her old phone, she is reminded that there's something better out there. And she can have it! So, as soon as she has decided that she can afford the new model, she buys it. And never looks back.

 

Every time you begin to ask yourself questions like "How could she do this to me!?", think about the mobile phone. I remember having a blast with my first computer, and while I miss those days from time to time, I never miss the computer. You and I were like objects as well. They loved us to death and had a blast with us, but it was very different from our defintion of love.

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ja123 Established Member

ja123

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Don't waste your energy thinking that she chose this painter guy over you. This isn't about you or him. It's about her. She was floundering and you helped her. She started floundering again (e.g. doing badly at school, no realistic plan for the future), so she took this guy to fill her own empty void inside.

 

 

Go NC (no contact) with her.

 

 

It hurts like hell now, but you will feel better and will be happy that she's out of your life.

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fireflywy Established Member

fireflywy

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Everyone's advice here is stellar and spot on.

 

Here's mine:

 

As you sort through this you may ask yourself questions about what you did or didn't do that made her choose him over you. You may have days where you go over conversations and fights, days where you will feel lonely, and days where you may feel completely SICK thinking about them and their world. I hope you don't be be prepared if you do.

 

When those moments strike DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF for her disrespect of your relationship or for HER lack of integrity to give you guys a more graceful exit without her "vine swinging." NO ONE deserves to be used or have their trust taken advantage of and then feel as if THEY are at fault.

 

Please remember that. And stay the course your studies.

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lauri Established Member

lauri

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Stop thinking about who you think she replaced you with.

 

I promise you this...Think of how you are feeling - she will feel 10x worse if you move on and never talk to her again. When you become successful, have a new girlfriend and are living a good life...that's when it hits her the hardest. Like I've said before, she thinks she is someone special and that you should be suffering in pain without her. Don't give her that satisfaction. Don't ever, ever talk to her again. Don't even entertain the thought of going back. She messed up. Not you.

 

I know it's hard to see now but you should be relieved that you aren't investing another second into this girl. This is about your self respect and dignity. Don't lose it anyone, let alone her.

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harkkam Established Member

harkkam

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Wow...6 years...

 

If I saw her face to face when she came to pick up her things...I would be so angry that someone would do this to me.

 

I would have had so much hate....I'm afraid that if I was in your shoes I would say

 

"If you don't leave my house in 10 minutes, I'm going to break your legs and you'll be crawling through my front door...you hear me!"

 

So much respect to you for being so strong, its amazing how much composure you've had.

 

I look up to you man and your strength. Do well in school and forget her.

 

Simply put she was a bad investment. Cheating of any kind is never tolerated doesn't matter how bad of a bf you were or weren't. If you cheat instead of breaking up or trying to work it out then you're out the door

 

You did dodge a bullet.

Edited by harkkam
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Kevin_D Established Member

Kevin_D

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I would have had so much hate....I'm afraid that if I was in your shoes I would say

 

"If you don't leave my house in 10 minutes, I'm going to break your legs and you'll be crawling through my front door...you hear me!"

 

The funny thing is, if the roles were reversed, and she had said this to him, her friends would definitely have said "You go girl!".

 

I don't mean to generalize, but it seems that it's always the guy's fault when a relationship ends. If he cheats, he's an ******* who deserves to be castrated. If the girl cheats, it's because the guy neglected her emotionally.

 

This was one of my biggest struggles. It was like everyone took for granted that I had mistreated her in some way, simply because such a nice girl would never act so immorally if she didn't have a very good reason!

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Bluimes New Member

Bluimes

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Last monday she wrote me a letter with her story (full of lies). I replied on tuesday with my resonse where I told her she was worthless and I hated her. About that I feel like I've said everything. I might have not pointed out how she was only going for him, but what does it matter at this point? That's why I will hold on to the NC phase. I just can't handle it anymore to constantly checking them up and seeing that they are talking constantly to each other. Because that is what I've been doing. Looking at their FB and whatsapp. Just to know if they're both online and guess what... they are...

 

 

@Kevin_D

 

Thank you very much for your good feedback. I can't deny that it's likely for her to have some narcissistic issues. I just need time to believe that I was something she could throw away anytime she would want too. nobody likes to be a mobile phone I guess.

 

 

 

@Ja123

 

Thanks for reminding. But to be honest, it's fairly impossible not to think about them. I can tell you are most likely right. However as long as she is still with him and not separated I will keep having these thoughts of him giving something extra over me.

 

 

 

@Fireflywy

 

You're right about the effects it has on me. I don't blame myself, because I know I've been a good man for her. Okay, I had some things as well but these were little and I'm a really tolerant and well thought man. So I know it's not for me to blame that she is a cheating ***** going on a hunch. Just because she can develope feelings on a certain distance. Going for the 'hunt' and not realizing that you still need to know how to treat the 'catch'. I'm absolutely sure about her coming to realize that her new guy farts as well, is not as good with helping her with school and certainly doesn't care for her future plans. On the other hand he will realize that when knowing her everyday she can be very life sucking.

 

 

 

@Lauri

 

Yet again a fantastic post. To that thought of she feeling 10x worse then I do is something I hold on to. I know that I've reached the point you are writing about. I can't do anything with words, but I need to do it with actions. It's just like this excentric motivation which she obviously was now falls away and needs to be replaced. I need to find that drive to do the things I need to do.

 

 

 

And for now I'm glad that she is gone with her cheating ass.

 

 

 

@Harkkam

 

Thank you very much for you compliments. I must admit that it was a close call. She first went in denial and was getting mad. I felt myself loosing completely. And I mean REALLY. My view was getting a kind of blue and I felt all my muscles shaking. The blood was pumping through my veins... I realize myself thinking that this is the moment where men hit women. I can understand now... But on that very same moment I choose to not be like that.

 

 

 

@KevinD

 

Interesting that you say that. Because she have isolated me for some while now. I guess the last half-year I got cut off from her family and friend. Her best friend, who I liked as well couldn't talk to me anymore for what she was doing with the other guy. Her best friend knew because they where at the same football club where this dude is as well.

 

 

 

So yeah, I got a lot of **** coming upon me. But she has the guilt and she knows it. :(

Edited by Bluimes
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Bluimes New Member

Bluimes

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GUYS HELP ME PLEASE I’M GOING MENTAL

Oke first of all I screwed up because I found a ****load of naked movies and pictures. Of them together in al different times. I just got ****ed over big time knowing that they started for over 2 years ago. L It’s disgusting to see all the images and movies. It really hurts to see that this guy is nothing special over me. But It’s so hard to see her make love with him. I check up dates and stuff and it’s me going tot lectures from school in de evening. I really got torn apart.

 

 

 

But the movies and them groaning and stuff is just gut-wrenching. I just can’t take it anymore and my mind is going nuts. So I texted the images to my ex who is in Turkey on vacation now. With a long outrage of words and sentences who really don’t make any sense besides delivering the big message: “SERIOUSLY, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS WITH SOMEONE WHO LOVED YOU” So I copy pasted some pictures and question marks with the dates and time. Besides that I send a voice message with them on it. I also texted the dude and I gone mental on him: “Like what kind of dude are you and why the **** would you do something like this with me and your own girlfriend?” But he only responded: “Hey man, the only thing I can say is that I’m really sorry”.

 

 

I know I should not have done it, but I had to do something. She hasn’t been online and I blocked her again going for my strike two at no contact. But at this moment I don’t know what to think anymore. How can she not feel any remorse or guilt? Is ever going to feel this and remorse it? I just can’t stand the thought that they might be happier then us in the future.

 

 

I’m really heartbroken right now.

Dutchman1 Established Member

Dutchman1

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Just put the video and pics on youtube or xhamster, not forbidden in Holland.

 

 

Take care, I know your pain.

Dutchman1

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Radu Established Member

Radu

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Hey guys,

Well to be really honest I would have never thought that I would be writing this story on the internet, but here I’m. To get to the point: My girlfriend for almost 6 years left me for her best-friend after cheating with hem for over a year. I’m now 28 en she is 27.

 

To get this story short. When I met her 6 years ago I was climbing up after I was hit many time by life. The last five years I grew so much… I defeated all my haunts from the past, got almost highly educated and I’m still going as a rock. 6 years ago, she was there for me on the moment I needed her the most. We had some great years with a lot of fun and love.

 

However problems where arising. First, after 4 months relationship this guy, a lifetime friend of hers, kissed her at a party. She told me she pushed him away and in the same night she called me to confess. I was heartbroken, but I believed she didn’t want this to happened. Although I knew this guy was getting a problem. So I was talking about the problems. These emerge when I was growing to the top and she was failing on many fronts. She was a drop-out at her bachelor and got fired… I picked up her pieces and tried fixing it again. I have payed some of her debts en took care for her. She started a new education but also having a hard time to pass the classes. Now again she is at the point of dropping-out. Strangley I noticed her slipping away for about 1,5 years now. She had no ambition, no goals or a realistic view of the future. She went a lot too her football club and she partied a lot around it.

 

So last year, when I was working my **** of for a better future life knocks in. On the day I was working and not studying she cheated on me at our home. I found out last year when I found a unknown phone in the bag of my girlfriend. Fast after that she admitted that she had invited him to our home. At first she told me that they didn’t had sex but that she stopped him because she felt guilty. So I tried to understand where this came from. I figured out I should make her feel more special and take care for her. We went to a city and stayed in a hotel for a few days. Trying to renew our vows or however you may call it. unfortunately this didn’t work out as planned. I tried so hard en kept fighting, but the harder I pushed the further she would go away. Last December I realized this was going downhill and there was not much to fight for. In this spring I had some long travels through Europe . This helped me getting a new perspective and I started realizing I was missing some parts. It just didn’t ended up.

I think deep down she knows you are better than her, that she doesn't measure up to you.

 

Many ppl may feel that about their SO, but they do not go into having a long term affair with their best friend.

 

Is he less accomplished than you are ?

Well bottemline… I knew she was hiding a lot for me. She never would let me watch her phone or something like that. So I looked at the bills and found a strange number, with long phone calls. It was the dude who she was kissing 6 years ago and whom I found the phone from last year. It felt like my world was falling apart. It hurts like hell. With all these emotions I confronted her with the fact. At first she becomes mad and goes in denial. But when I’m at the point of losing myself she starts to confess…

 

She tells me first that it happened a half year ago and they had sex 4 times. I asked her why and she told me that she lost herself and she didn’t knew what she was doing. She also tells me she loves me very much, but just can’t deal with the situation. She loves him also and she thinks he is making her happy. For the last year they share their days on daily basis. Date with each other behind my back and this and that. I was so angry and I told her to leave immediately. So that it was and she took some stuff to go too her family. The day after she comes to get her big stuff. In the beginning I was at home and we talked briefly. There she admitted that a year ago they did had sex. So when I founded the phone it all happened. I was so angry and I almost lost it…. after a few days I talk too her again…

 

I figured out that de details where not counting right. She pointed out more locations than the times she had sex. So I confronted her and after a long struggling she finally admits that it has been more… Something like 6 and 7 times. And I was like: why the **** would you not say that in the first place, like it makes a difference? So I already know they **** the **** out of each other. Now she wants to be with him regarding the pain i’m suffering.

And for real, I’ve had some nasty experiences in life with all kind of stuff. But this is different, this is I think one of the most, if not the most cruel experience I’ve ever had. And I don’t know how to handle with it. My house is empty, I see my sad dog who doesn’t know whats happening. And I can hardly see a future now…

 

I’m going to move to a new place with a new start. But I also need to perform at school and at my work. I’m an honours-student but I’m failing like an drop-out.

 

Please help me.

It's called gaslighting.

She told you a small part of what you suspected in order to protect herself.

Then she told you some more and some more and some more.

 

Her reason was to protect herself, or her relationship [her having one].

What she doesn't understand [or doesn't care] is that for you every bit of extra information is a new stab, just as powerful as that first one you got.

Personally ... i consider it a form of psychological abuse.

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NopeNah Established Member

NopeNah

Posted
Posted
GUYS HELP ME PLEASE I’M GOING MENTAL

Oke first of all I screwed up because I found a ****load of naked movies and pictures. Of them together in al different times. I just got ****ed over big time knowing that they started for over 2 years ago. L It’s disgusting to see all the images and movies. It really hurts to see that this guy is nothing special over me. But It’s so hard to see her make love with him. I check up dates and stuff and it’s me going tot lectures from school in de evening. I really got torn apart.

 

 

 

But the movies and them groaning and stuff is just gut-wrenching. I just can’t take it anymore and my mind is going nuts. So I texted the images to my ex who is in Turkey on vacation now. With a long outrage of words and sentences who really don’t make any sense besides delivering the big message: “SERIOUSLY, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS WITH SOMEONE WHO LOVED YOU” So I copy pasted some pictures and question marks with the dates and time. Besides that I send a voice message with them on it. I also texted the dude and I gone mental on him: “Like what kind of dude are you and why the **** would you do something like this with me and your own girlfriend?” But he only responded: “Hey man, the only thing I can say is that I’m really sorry”.

 

 

I know I should not have done it, but I had to do something. She hasn’t been online and I blocked her again going for my strike two at no contact. But at this moment I don’t know what to think anymore. How can she not feel any remorse or guilt? Is ever going to feel this and remorse it? I just can’t stand the thought that they might be happier then us in the future.

 

 

I’m really heartbroken right now.

That's messed up!! Reminds me of this song

Best to just leave it,trash the videos and be on your way.
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