4 months and I still can't get over her (First Heartbreak) [Long Story]

[Op17]

Okay get ready because this is going to be a VERY long story, everything that lead me up this point. I can't get every little detail in there because It'll be too long but i'll try make it as short as possible. I feel like I'm in hell right now because the pain feels like it's never going away and I'll never fully get over this girl. I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore about this, so I hope you guys can understand and have the patience to read this long story.

 

Theres this girl I fell in love with, we were talking for 3 months and she left me for another guy. This was the first girl I ever talked to. She was a college girl I met at my job. Her university was nearby so I saw different girls from there almost everyday. The day I met her she looked really good, almost a 10/10. She came in the store with her friends and I eventually rung them up.

 

As a small background about myself before I continue, I've never had confidence growing up. I've experienced a lot of rejection from girls when I was younger, and it really destroyed any little that I had. I got into better shape as I got older but I still felt insecure about myself. My parents were also strict and pretty much sheltered me most of my life so I never had the opportunity to get out and experience anything with girls. Don't get me wrong, personality wise; I was a cool person. But I just didn't get the experience I should of gotten earlier in life and I'm just starting at 19.

 

Now back to the day we met; that day, I didn't look my best. I needed a haircut and thought theres no way in hell those girls would talk to me the way I was looking. But long story short, I ring her and her friends up and she started small talk with me and gave me her number at the end without me even asking. I was surprised and happy. We started texting later that night and eventually started talking on the phone. She did most of the contacting and only called me at night.

 

In the beginning we got to know each other a little bit but the convos got freaky fast after about 3 days of talking and she wanted to hang out at her dorm. I already knew I was going there to hook up with her, so I didn't have any intent on catching feelings. I go there on my day off and she introduces me to her roommate and alot of her female friends. Her roommate was hungry so we all went to Chipotle. I didn't have a car, so I wanted to feel like the man and pay for the cab fair to get there. She said she forgot her money at the dorm so I covered the food. This was pretty much our first date.

 

After we went back to her dorm, she insisted that she pay me back. I told her it was cool and we hung out some more. Eventually her roommate left us alone and thats when we started making out. This was the first time I've ever kissed a girl, I was nervous and I knew she could tell I was inexperienced. The thing about it was she acted like it didn't bother her and it was fine. She made me feel comfortable with her and it made me feel more confident. After making out for a while we ended up messing around and she talked me into going down on her. (I know this was extremely stupid and I've learned my lesson since then, but keep in mind I was inexperienced.)

 

I did just about everything with her that night but have sex and she insisted that we wait before we do. That gave me the impression that she actually liked me and wanted to take things slow before she fully gave herself up. One thing about this girl is that she asked alot of questions, especially about my past. I didn't want her to think I was a loser or anything so I finessed most of it even though I was sheltered by my parents (which I definitely didn't want her to know.). She also said she didn't want our relationship to be only about sex and to me it seemed like she liked me and probably want a relationship in the future. We cuddled for the rest of the night and then eventually I went home around 3 in the morning cause I couldn't spend the night.

 

 

After that day she texted me and called me late at night frequently like she always did and asked me to come back to see her. This time she asked me to come hang with her friends and drink. Since I didn't know her that well and we already got sexual the first time we met, I didn't want to get her drunk in case she false claims that I took advantage of her. So I played it safe and said we should just be alone and watch netflix and next time we could drink. Long story short, I get there, we makeout again and I go down on her a second time but this time, halfway into it, she asks me to stop and started crying out of nowhere. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She hesitated for a long time but eventually told me that she was raped at a party. She was drunk and a guy took advantage of her. It was crazy because that was exactly the kind of situation I was trying to avoid with her. But I stayed, cuddled with her and tried to comfort her about it and we just laid in eachothers arms for the rest of the night. She thought I was a good person.

 

At this point I started to like her but this is where things took a turn for the worst and I've made my biggest regret.

 

I started to get a thick taste in my mouth, like the taste when you get sick. I was paranoid if I caught something from her since I didn't know her that well and talked to 2 of my friends about the second night. They both thought she was crazy and I should stop talking to her. They also thought she could of possibly gave me something because she could of hooked up with multiple guys while I wasn't there or got down like that in general. I agreed, but deep down inside I still liked this girl. She called me the same night but this time I didn't pick up like my friends told me not to. It was really hard, I really had to resist not picking up that phone. I didn't want to ignore her but thought it was the right thing since my friends both advised me to.

 

The next day I didn't text or call her back. She reached out to me twice through text and I did respond, but in a dead way. She got the hint and stopped contacting me, 2 days passed by. I started to miss her and felt bad because I actually liked her and thought I really hurt her, especially after opening herself up to me like that. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and called her that night.

 

She ignored it after the first ring. So I assumed her phone was probably off and called her the next night, the same thing happened. So I text her the day after that and we agreed to talk on the phone that night. I call her and it goes straight to voice mail after 2 rings again so I text her and ask if she was ignoring me. She says no and calls me right after, apologizing saying her phone was on blocking mode the last couple of days.

 

During the conversation she asked me why was I being distant and cold from her but not in a direct way. She hinted towards it like "Whats going on? We have a lot to catch up on, we haven't talked in a while." I didn't want to tell her the truth because I thought she would feel very hurt and never want to talk to me again. I didn't want to ruin any chance I had left with her, So I used me being sick and "out of it" as an excuse and truth is, I really was sick. I also got tested and it turns out she was clean and all I had was a cold.

 

We eventually started talking normal again but something was off this time. She texted and called less frequently and didn't always flirt back like she usually did. Just here and there. The phone conversations also got shorter sometimes, as she would cut them short or make excuses to call me back and never did. It was frustrating because I was really trying to get things back to the way they were and show her I really do care about her but I could understand why she was acting like that since I turned my back on her. Since then she acted like everything was normal when we were on the phone, but when we text she would act more distant and take a long time to respond.

 

I remember the day I stopped talking to her when she texted me, I wrote her back "Hey, Whats up?" ever since then on certain days she would respond to me just like that If i texted her first, and would act cold and distant with one word responses. But over the phone we would talk like nothing happened and flirt with each other. She also still kept mentioning how we should hold off on sex for a while.

 

One thing me and this girl had in common is that we both loved making music. She sung and I produced instrumentals. She eventually told me she met this guy that works at the gym she goes to and he made music as well. She said she really liked his style and told me to check him out. I tried to think nothing of it and jump to conclusions but something was telling me she was probably talking to this guy too.

 

One day she got really mad at me when she asked for advise on working out. I asked her what her gym goals were and she said she wanted to tone her legs and arms and get her body into better shape. Then she asked me what do I think she should do. I started off saying "Okay, well if you want to tone your legs, you could hit the treadmill for that." and she sounded really offended by what I said.

 

I mentioned other exercise equipment in the gym and the last one I mentioned would strengthen her legs. After I mentioned the last one she said "****, are my legs that bad!?" and I told her not at all and that i wasn't talking about her body, I was speaking in general terms for anybody. She brushed it off and mentioned how one of her friends talked about her body not being all that behind her back and I told her that that shouldn't matter because I liked it just the way it was and she just brushed it off like it was nothing and cut the conversation short.

 

The next day she texted me apologizing for the way she acted and said she was hurt by the way I worded what I said but she sees that I was talking in general and not about her. I told her that it was fine and I liked the way her body looks as it is and it's just going to get even better now since she wants to improve on it. I also told her not to let her friend get her down and to just use what her friend said as motivation while she works out and prove her wrong through the results. Turn a negative into positive.

 

She texted me back cussing me out saying how shes happy with how her body is and she didn't have to prove herself to anybody. I told her I didn't mean to offend her at all and everything I was trying to say was in a positive light. She wrote me back and said that her point is that she was taken back on how I would zero in on it like that and I'm starting to sound obsessive about it and how she didn't want to talk about her body anymore.

 

After that we didn't talk for 2 days. I decided to break the silence by apologizing to her and reassure her that i didn't mean to offend her. She said she forgives me and how me apologizing went a long way for her. We talked normal after that and everything seemed nice. But then the next day when I texted her she was very distant again. I was frustrated and gave up. I stopped texting her for 2 more days and she texted me again in the same positive vibe she did when we first met, asking to see me again. I told her I had to see what my work schedule was like the next day and I would get back to her. She said it sounded good and the next day I text her.

 

She hit me with the "Hey, Whats up?" text again and I tried to start small talk and asked what she was doing. She said she was eating lunch. The texts were going back and forth between us fast and she responded back for 3 replies until i was the last one to respond asking a question, and she left it there. It was 2PM when I sent my last text. I was trying to work my way over to telling her my schedule so we could see eachother but she didn't give me that chance.

 

I waited all day for her to respond. But no reply. I get home at 11 PM and it seemed like she had no intentions on writing me back. I was frustrated about the way things were going so I sent her an angry text saying it seemed like things weren't working out and how it was cool seeing her while it lasted. She immediately called me after and told me how she forgot about the text and how I shouldn't jump to conclusions like that. I told her I wasn't but it really seemed like she was distancing herself from me and something was up.

 

I told her if theres anything bothering her that she should bring it up so we could talk about it and she only mentioned what I said about her working out was hurtful because of the way I worded it. She never mentioned the day I stopped talking to her, which I was hoping for because she kept hinting at it with the "Hey, whats up?" texts. I clarified the situation again and she understood. I told her that I could tell there was something wrong because the vibe between us was different than when we first started talking and she just kept telling me how she was busy and how shes just been distant to everyone lately. I told her that I really liked her and she said she liked me too and that she wasn't playing me or leading me on and that she still cares about me. After that I told her when I was free and could spend time with her. We agreed to see eachother over the weekend.

 

She came over and we spent the whole day together, half at my house, half at her dorm. At my house she met my parents and they really liked her. The minute we were alone we flirted alot, she got on top of me and we made out. we didn't have sex but did freaky things with eachother again. Afterwords we cuddled on the couch and watched a movie. One thing I noticed is that first day we met, we held hands. This time when we cuddled on the couch I tried to hold her hand and she kept pulling it away and resting it on top on mine instead. I could tell the feelings weren't on the same page by that but the way she talked to me was like how she always did when we first met, like everything was great and she still liked me alot.

 

After a while we went back to her dorm and she asked if I could spend the night again but I told her I couldn't but I could stay long like I always did (I didn't tell her the truth but my parents gave me a curfew to be home before the next morning since I still lived under their roof). She said it was fine and we cuddled under the covers the rest of the night staring at eachother, kissing and saying how much we liked eachother. When I was leaving that night she told me to kiss her before I left and I remember telling her I was going to spend the night soon and she just said "Ohh, take your time." in a real nonchalant way like she didn't really care if i did or not. This is not a big sign, but it hinted to me where her interest level was at this point after I reanalyzed the relationship.

 

The next day I texted her and the conversation was fast paced going back and forth again. Then when I mentioned how we should see each other again soon, she left it there until the next day and didn't reply until the afternoon in a dead one word response. I was confused, I thought we had a good time with eachother the night before but now shes cold again. I decided not to write back to the late text and 3 days passed by, she didn't contact me. On the forth day out of nowhere she calls me while I was with my friend asking how to record a song because she was going to a "Meeting". She also asked for instrumentals but my friend was motioning for me not to help her or give her anything because of how weird shes been acting towards me. I spoke to her on the phone like I was distant and didn't give her any instrumentals but I did tell her how to record her music.

 

Soon after, she started texting me and I responded in the same short replies she used to give me. Then she asked me if there was something wrong. I told her how in person everything seemed great but when we aren't chilling together it's like she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. She replied and said "I'm just busy, thats all. I hate it when you do this." I will admit this did sound needy on my end but even though she claimed she was busy I still could still tell the vibe wasn't what it was like in the beginning and as you guys already read shes been showing me less and less attention. I couldn't help but think she was still holding a grudge against me from the past. I just replied and said I wouldn't bring it up again. Then she tells me how shes having a hard time with depression and shes depressed over this form of ptsd she has that makes her very moody.

 

After hearing this it answered my questions about why she snapped at me for trying to make her feel better about her body. It probably triggered back then and when I went down on her the second night we saw each other when she cried. Even though she had that problem I wanted to look past it cause I still liked her alot and I liked her unconditionally.

 

The ending:

 

Days later she called and asked if we get could get something to eat together. We met at a chinese restaurant very close to my house. When it came to buying the food I told her I'd pay for it but she insisted she paid for her half. For some reason she always wanted to avoid me spending money on her (Later I assumed it was probably because she didn't want to feel guilty about it) . So I let her pay for hers and I paid for mine. It was another nice date again but another sign I caught was when she asked me what I told my bestfriend about her. I told her that I told him she was my girl. She smiled but I could tell she didn't seem too happy about that either. After we ate, we went back to my house to chill for a little bit while she waited for a cab back to the university. We went to my basement and she got on top of me again, we kissed a few times but this time we did nothing freaky just talk. She also wanted to trade socks so I gave her my favorite pair of black and red low socks and kept hers.

 

The convo was normal and then she asked me If I was talking to anyone else while we were talking. I told her no I've only been talking to you. I honestly was. Then I asked her the same question and told her she could be honest. She hesitated for a while and said "Not recently, but when we first started talking I messed with 2 other guys." I was disappointed but I wasn't shocked because I always knew something was up (It also made me think about that guy she mentioned meeting at the gym). So I asked her what she did with first guy and she said she went down on him. Then I asked her what she did with the second one. She didn't answer. I said "C'mon you could tell me" and she asked "Why do you wanna know?" and I said you already told me about the first one you might as well tell me about the second one. Then she sighed and said "We had sex".

 

(I don't remember the full conversation so I'll mention the most memorable parts.)

 

This one caught me by surprise. So the first question I asked is "what happened to waiting?" and she said "well i was at the club and I was in the moment and...... it just happened." You never heard of a one night stand?" I said yes but I thought me and you could of had something. Then she said "Ohh, so your the relationship type?" and I said "It depends on how I feel about that person." Then she said "I don't really know about commitment." then I said that I wasn't going to force her into a relationship and she should do whats best for her. I don't remember everything we talked about that night but another sign was when she talked about other guys at her school and she mentioned that I was a really "Nice guy". So I asked her if she was only into **** and she said "No but I like a good medium, a guy in the middle". She also tried to explain her lifestyle but struggled and it was pretty much left unexplained but I got the point. Later she got a phone call from the cab driver and had to go. I walked her back to the cab and hugged her and went back inside.

 

I didn't know what to think. I was just really confused and disappointed. But I kept my cool the whole time we talked. A few minutes later she texted me and told me that she feels like she needs to get to know me more before she knows what she wants and also threw school in the factor of it being hard to decide.

 

I didn't know what to think of that because we talked for 3 months and she knew alot about me. I also think 3 months is enough to decide if you wanted to date someone seriously. On top of that with school being a factor, we both were in college and she was able to make alot of time for me in the beginning before she grew distant. We also did everything a girlfriend and boyfriend did, there just wasn't any title on it yet, so things wouldn't have to be any different than what they were, she would just have to be faithful. But obviously the feelings aren't there and I was more emotionally invested than she was (She probably drew back her feelings after that day I stopped talking her and thought I wasn't trustworthy.) I replied back and said ok and then she asked if I was upset. I said no I wasn't mad but I didn't think it could be that serious anymore.

 

She called me right after that text and asked me to clarify what I ment. I told her just based on the lifestyle she tried to explain that I thought it couldn't be serious. I can't remember what she asked me after that but eventually she asked me what is she to me, and I asked "what do you mean? do I think you mean the world to me?" She said "Yeah" and I said" No, but I did have feelings for you and eventually thought we could have a serious relationship, I really like you." She said "Well I really like you too and I just want to play things by air and see where things go." I told her okay and I respect the honesty of her telling me about the other 2 guys.

 

 

The Heartbreak:

 

She finally recorded her first song, sent it through email and asked for my opinion on it through text. When I opened the email I immediately noticed the email was forwarded to me from that other guy she mentioned at the gym. (I guess that was the "Meeting" she was talking about the other day). I told her it was good and she said "Pretty sick beat I picked out too" (and I guess that was taking a jab at me for not giving helping her with a instrumental the other day either.)

 

Five days passed by since that day and she hasn't tried to contact me, so I call her around the time she usually called me at night. This time she didn't pick up. Usually when she doesn't pick up she calls me back in about 15 minutes, this time she didn't. Around 4 in the morning I wake up to a blocked number calling my phone. I was too tired and couldn't be bothered to pick it up so I let it ring. I haven't had a blocked call in 2 years, so I knew it was relevant to my situation with this girl.

 

2 days passed by and still no response from her. So I thought about it for a while and even though I didn't pick up the phone to know the truth that night, I only could think of one reason why I would be getting a blocked call hours after calling her. She was with another guy and he was trying to get rid of me. She never goes to sleep early and it was the weekend when she has no school. So I knew my call was definitely ignored, especially after 2 days.

 

I was very sad. Before I didn't think heartbreaks existed and they were just a saying but they really do exist. I felt a very sharp pain in my chest that wouldn't go away. I couldn't eat at all because I had a lost of appetite. I didn't want to watch tv, listen to music, play games or anything to entertain me because all I kept thinking about was her and what happened. Out of curiosity I checked her facebook and she was at the club over the weekend, So she could of easily met another guy and cut me off. Every minute I was checking my phone, hoping it was a text from her like it usually was. But no text. Everytime I did get one I'd go to my phone exited thinking it would be from her but nope, just one of my friends. It was very hard for me, I felt like I was in hell.

 

I wasn't taking this well because she cut me off out of the blue, with no real closure and false hope that we could have a relationship. Anxiety got the best of me and I felt I needed some kind of closure to feel better and help take the pain away so I ended up writing her a letter (Which I probably shouldn't have), telling her how I understood her point of view on things and how I wish the best for her even if we don't talk again.

 

I sent her a text to check her email right after I sent it. 2 days passed by, no response. It was thanksgiving weekend, so I knew she was home from school. On the Third day (Thanksgiving) She finally responded back through text saying she got my email. She was thankful I wrote it, she was happy I found light of the situation, told me to never give up on my dreams and how we should continue to be friends and keep in touch.

 

I felt a sign of relief because I thought I could still keep her in my life. 2 days after thanksgiving pass by and I decide to call her. The phone rang alot and she picked it up at the last very minute. We talked on the phone very briefly, the conversation was normal and we pretty much caught up on small things but I made sure I never mentioned what happened or the relationship. she eventually cut the convo short saying her and her mom were watching a show and thanks for calling.

 

5 days past by since then and I call her again, she picks up the phone at the last minute again and she asks what I'm doing. I told her I just ate and then she pauses for a long time and asks if she could call me back because she was eating (I guess trying to think of an excuse to blow me off) I said it was fine and hung up. She never reached back. I felt like s* all over again. This was it, this is the end. I don't mean anything to her anymore and shes happy with the new guy.

 

2 months past by and it was New Years, I made my last attempt to contact her by texting her happy new year, No response. Thats when I decided it was time to move on but it was so hard.

 

The Pain:

 

 

Every single day I wake up, shes the first thing on my mind. I've tried everything people gave advise on but it just didn't work. I tried to focus on music, but then she would still end up popping into my head. I would spend my time with friends and it would fight back the thoughts of her temporarily, but when I'm all alone again the thoughts came back. Same with working out, I'd stop thinking about her during the workout but as soon as I hit the shower I'm thinking about her all over again. I even tried going on vacation, far away from there, but I still thought about her from time to time. Memories of cuddling with her, sap talk with eachother and spending days with her and her friends at her university just cloud my head. Then I would think about the new memories shes making with the other guy and how shes forgot about me and I mean nothing anymore.

 

The hardest part for me was being at my job, the place I met her. I would always think about her coming back there with her new guy or giving one my coworkers her number. Seeing other couples also just reminded me of what I could of had if I did things differently. Since then my self esteem and confidence went to s*. I don't think anyone would want me and if they did I would just mess it up or they would eventually get bored and leave me for someone else like she did. I feel like this was karma for listening to my friends advise and turning my back on her. I felt like that could of played a big part and I really regret it.

 

2 weeks after another girl gave me her number. But I just couldn't do it. I was still heartbroken and I felt like I would end up leading her on and hurting her because mentally I wasn't ready to talk to anyone else, I was still self-conscious about myself.

 

Lately I've been trying to see my flaws and mess ups of the relationship and work on them but I just can't get her out of my head. I also think about how much better the other guy is than me and that he most likely isn't inexperienced like me and knows the right things to do and say. It's been 2 months since new years (4 months counts from the day she first cut me off) and I thought i should be over this by now but i'm not. While the pain in my chest is not as bad as it used to be, I still can't her off my mind. It just sucks because I can never talk to her again.

 

 

I wore my friends out and their tired of talking about this girl and I have to deal with this on my own now, but it has been too hard. Nobody really knows my pain, I mask my happiness everywhere, at work, at school, at home and other places. I don't take to social media to let people think I'm down either and I definitely wouldn't want her to see that. But moving on from my first heartbreak has been one of the hardest challenges in my life. I never felt this before and I feel like it's never going to end or i'll never be able to keep someone in my life.

Edited February 15, 2015 by Op17

[darkbloom]

Let me preface this by saying that the first one is always the hardest. You will never forget the feeling, but it does fade.

 

 

I think this girl has some serious issues. I literally am blushing at your first encounter with her at her dorm. There is a lot of red flags that she gave off. I think because you are new to this, you did not recognize them. She seems to need the attention of several men at once. From your description, she did not give off the vibe that she ever intended to be on a serious relationship with anyone. It doesn't stop the hurt though because you fell for her.

 

 

I really think you should see somebody about this. They will be able to give you the coping skills you need and the tricks to get her off your mind since you have not been able to. You deserve to be happy and you deserve someone who won't treat you poorly like she did. You need to knock her off the pedestal you have placed her on and really look at her flaws and the issues she had in causing the relationship. Write them down and read them every time you think of her.

 

 

I promise you, there are other girls out there that you will have a connection with that will not treat you the way that this girl has.

[Op17]

Let me preface this by saying that the first one is always the hardest. You will never forget the feeling, but it does fade.

 

 

I think this girl has some serious issues. I literally am blushing at your first encounter with her at her dorm. There is a lot of red flags that she gave off. I think because you are new to this, you did not recognize them. She seems to need the attention of several men at once. From your description, she did not give off the vibe that she ever intended to be on a serious relationship with anyone. It doesn't stop the hurt though because you fell for her.

 

 

I really think you should see somebody about this. They will be able to give you the coping skills you need and the tricks to get her off your mind since you have not been able to. You deserve to be happy and you deserve someone who won't treat you poorly like she did. You need to knock her off the pedestal you have placed her on and really look at her flaws and the issues she had in causing the relationship. Write them down and read them every time you think of her.

 

 

I promise you, there are other girls out there that you will have a connection with that will not treat you the way that this girl has.

 

Thank you and thanks for reading my story. I'm thinking about going to a therapist because I don't know anything else I could do. I just hope I could finally get my confidence back cause now it's lower then its ever been.

[darkbloom]

I just broke up with my bf and one of his biggest issues was lack of confidence. It held him back. When I suggested that he get help with it he never would thinking that it was weak to see someone about his problems. Therapy is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

[tobrieornottobrie]

I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting right now. I think therapy or counseling would be a really good first step to healing, it'll probably prove helpful to have a professional to talk to about all of this and perhaps help you work through some of the other things that you mentioned. I hope that it gets better for you, wishing you luck!

 

 

 

 

 

 

the brie's cheese knees

[Tolu2d]

4 months isn't that long bro, your feelings are normal. Stay strong, bro...we are all doing this together.

[Op17]

Thanks alot guys, I ended up ringing her up at my job yesterday and it killed me. I didn't expect to see her and now I just want her back all over again. All I can think about is yesterday now.

[Op17]

You know whats funny? I just found out late, but right after she cut me off she got into a committed relationship with someone else. All this after acting like she's not the relationship type.

[geronimo]

Don't worry about it bro, my ex of 5 years did the same thing. It could be a rebound so don't give it much thought. Either way it'll help you move on faster cuz shes gone now, she has someone else. It hurts like hell to know that initially but then you'll realize you're better than that and she doesn't deserve you if she can forget it all and move on that fast. So forget her, do your thing, heal and move on.

[crazycanuck86]

Four months isn't that long and it will take a while before you'll be back to normal, give it more time maintain the NC rule and you'll be right as rain

[Op17]

Thanks guys, I'm just glad I don't have to feel pitful about the 4 months. The feelings are still there, it just doesn't hurt as much as it used to. It's been hell.

[Arieswoman]

OP17,

I am sorry you are hurting like this but it does get better, I promise. At the moment you probably feel that you'll never be able to love, laugh or function normally again - but you will.

 

We've all been there, crying our eyes out over others that hurt us, lied to us and dumped us. And many of us are back here posting on this forum.

 

I agree that having some counselling/therapy might help you get your thoughts into perspective and cope with your grief, because that is what it is.

 

Lot's of people are rooting for you, so get the help you need to move forward, towards that nice girl who's out there for you.

 

Good luck x

[Op17]

Thanks a lot for the support guys. It's nice to know I can come here if i ever need to talk about my problems and the best part is, I'm not the only one.