ggas Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I'm currently going through a very tough break. Basically after one year together of what I thought was a very healthy and amazing relationship it suddenly stopped with my now ex talking with her ex to get back together (you can read my story). It happened so fast that I still have a hard time accepting. I left with dignity though and did not initiate contact with her but I did answer when she wrote me (trivial stuff). We haven t talked in 3 days and it sucks... The thing is she is a great girl but it just hurts so bad to be replaced with her ex sooo fast after a year being together in an awesome relationship. I dread the fact that she might arrange for him to come to where we live (he lives in a different country) but I know this should not concern me. At the end of the day I feel sooo sad but also sooo guilty because I can t blame her for thinking they are a better fit. Please do read my story and give some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
FixItCris Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Sounds like you were a rebound. It sucks. I would just go no contact. Block everything. She used you to help her heal, then decided you were second best. Nobody should ever have to settle for being second best. I feel for you, I really do. There is nothing you can do to change how she feels. Move on and work on your own happiness. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 You know, it IS easier if you can get angry about something, because that's when you shift from feeling disappointment to projecting blame. That's a ton easier. But when it is all said and done, WHY doesn't really matter at all. The bottom line is that they're gone, and you're going to have to get used to it. The prescription for doing that has been repeated in these forums about a million times. Embrace the pain, eliminate the person from all aspects of your life, and get busy with your own life. It takes time, that's all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 (edited) The first thing you have to do is to get rid of the mind-set "Wonderful girl who did no wrong". No, she wasn't and yes, she did. Edited January 27, 2015 by evanescentworld 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I agree with the posts above....she isnt all that wonderful to go back to her ex after a year of an awesome relationship with you.....she should have well and truly left him behind....but she didnt.....time is what it takes to get over her.....time and no contact....deb Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 The sad thing is that she didn't see the relationship as great as you did. She was still emotionally attached to her ex so she never started fresh with you on the same level you think you both were. You've been here before and NC helped you in a prior breakup. Utilize for sure now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hija77 Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 You need to get her off of the pedestal you've got her on. Getting back with her ex so soon? I highly doubt that happened overnight. Sorry you're having such a hard time. Stick with the no contact...unless you'd LIKE to hear about her and her boyfriend/ex. Doesn't sound like much fun, huh? Let him have her. She's clearly not as cool as you think. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Seeker12 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Unfortunately it just seems you were the rebound, she used you to help her emotionally heal and return back to stability, whether she recognised that or not, once she felt strong enough with you, she had probably already began contact with her ex and reconciliation had begun, and they decided to give it another go, hence going back to what she truly wanted which was her ex, im sorry to say. Not really surprised though, most people here who have broken up with their ex from long term relationships hope of similar situations for reconciliation and its happened loads of times. We are always told the next person your ex jumps onto is most likely a rebound and will never stand the test of time, and finally more often then not the ex does eventually get in touch, it is just a matter of time, however sometimes the dumpee has moved on by then so leaves the ex hanging when they come crawling back, not in your case. But for you mate, you just have to move on, its going to be a real rare case for the girl to come back to you considering you being the rebound, so there is no hope, the above formula usually works on longer term relationships but wont in your case. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ggas Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 You guys say move on because I was a rebound. I want to move on too. It's just hard for me. And between this ex of hers and me there were two other half a year relationships with two other guys. With me she actually wanted to move in together (we did), we had savings together. Introduced me to her whole family. I mean does one really do all these things with a rebound??? This NC thing doesn t help me move on faster. At least I don t see any effects now. On the other hand, if I were to contact her, I know that whatever she will answer (if she answers) will not be what I want to hear and it will inflict more pain. This is the third time I suffer after long relationship. I lost hope ( Link to post Share on other sites
sfbvarela Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I feel you bro. We are in almost the same situation. Only she is dating now the so called rebound. Day 4 of NC and it sucks big time. It doesn't seem to get better but they say it will. I dont know Link to post Share on other sites
Seeker12 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 You guys say move on because I was a rebound. I want to move on too. It's just hard for me. And between this ex of hers and me there were two other half a year relationships with two other guys. With me she actually wanted to move in together (we did), we had savings together. Introduced me to her whole family. I mean does one really do all these things with a rebound??? This NC thing doesn t help me move on faster. At least I don t see any effects now. On the other hand, if I were to contact her, I know that whatever she will answer (if she answers) will not be what I want to hear and it will inflict more pain. This is the third time I suffer after long relationship. I lost hope ( If thats the case then you probably werent a rebound, she possibly never got over that ex, tried to fill his space with other guys but knew that it just wasnt the same...like i said its more the fairytale that first lovers and exes want, and it does happen where the ex comes back after a long time to the person she truly wants, its a bummer for you man, and in your case its a rare situation if she does come back to you my friend. The effects of NC build, right now i guess youre in pain, but in good time you will get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
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