unforgotten Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Hey guys. I've just made a promise to myself tonight. I was out with my buddy and when we were walking through the town I saw my ex (7 years) with her new lover. The one she left me for. They were walking hand in hand, hugging and she was laughing so much as there were rainbows and unicorns everywhere around her. They probably went to his place and banged each other after that. They didn't saw me. My heart skipped a beat and rushed like hell. I felt like **** for a couple of minutes but then I've got this sudden dosage of adrenaline and motivation I've never felt since the breakup (3 months). I felt like I could do a 100 pushups or beat the **** out of someone at that point. Then when I was walking back home I made a promise to myself. I will never take her back! I have a very forgiving heart and if I imagine her coming in tears back to me It would be very hard to say no but I'm gonna do it. This is the person who has told me numerous times how she loves me and would gave her life for me, made promises she will never leave me, has "begged" me to merry her and made me to picture a future with her, with kids and everything. She then took those dreams away! I would never have dreamed if it wasn't for her installing them into my head. I was fine living day by day but she made me picture a future with her. Where the hell is she now?! Banging some other dude not giving a **** about me while I've gone through hell for the past three months and even felt suicidal at one point. Isn't it sad how quickly some people forget about what they say when the sun isn't shining anymore? Plus, how was she able to live for months with me, sleep with me, eat with me, talk to me and look me in the eyes, telling me she loves me while she was chatting with this guy, being all emotional with him, telling him how much he means to her etc. THAN BREAKUP AND BLAME IT ALL ON ME leave me there feeling like the biggest scum on the Earth. I despise her, I pity her, she makes me sick to my stomach, I find her disgusting. Not only that I will not take her back. I will never dwell on her again. She is not worth two seconds of my time. When I'll feel bad remembering **** and I know I will I'll hit myself in the face real hard. And I have some motivation now and some real goals. I will work hard as hell to get there and hopefully someone better than her will join me on my path to happiness. And if not, **** that too. I still hope though that karma will do it's job. Maybe I'm being harsh but I really wish she'd go through the same **** I went through. Good night! 9 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 that's the spirit, bro. let them go live their crappy lives without the benefit of you being in it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
towardthefuture Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 That sucks dude. You're better off without her. Time for you to do you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I'm with you with this one... Link to post Share on other sites
sober and dry Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I think it's a huge step there! Now keep going forward Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 To be honest, the other guy probably did you a favor. Now he's the one with the problem. If he thinks that he walks on water, then he's with a woman that has no problem drowning him in mid walk across the pond. I was married to my first wife for 10 and half years. I bumped into a guy that said he knew me. I didn't know him, then he said that he was going with my wife before I met her and she dumped him for me. I told him that he should take me out to dinner at a 5 star restaurant and told him about her and after the conversation he walked away with a look of relief on his face. Lucky him. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author unforgotten Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Hey guys and thanks for support! It was a step forward. It was one of the milestones I passed. I still think about her every day though. I hope I get her out of my head somehow! The thing that keeps rolling inside my head is how was she always so afraid of me leaving her and cheating on her. She said please just never cheat on me, you can do whatever you want but just don't cheat on me and she even had those crazy dreams how I'd cheat on her and laugh in her face after that and she said they were the most terrible ones. I told her many times I'd never leave her and she said she'd never leave me, that she's positive I'll be the one I'll leave. What happened in the end?! She turned those crazy insane dreams of hers into a reality but she was in the role of a cheater this time and the one almost laughing in my face for doing it having no remorse. How the hell can someone do that to another person or in this case to the one you once loved very much? How can you do something you yourself are the most scared of to someone else? This is something that is far beyond my level of understanding and when I read other posts on this forum it's actually not so rare. Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 What can I say, some people just look out for themselves! Tells you not to do something then go and does it themselves. What a hypocrite! Hopefully karma will slap her in the face before you do. She is the scum here, walk away.. and fast! Focus on yourself and keep on moving forward! Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Too much emotion. Too much anger. Keep the strict nc, you are still fragile. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 How can you do something you yourself are the most scared of to someone else? Usually the other person KNOWS they would do it OR are doing it themselves. It's almost a case of "do as I say and not as I do" in a strange way. I read some of your previous posts that got you here and know you two were very young when you got together. Not that it was right(because it surely was not at all), but it could be she wanted that feeling and excitement of new love again. All the giggles and butterflies that come with the beginnings always simmer down. IF she is just living on the high on the rush of the "newness", she will most likely do to the new bf what she did to you...if not, come sniffing at your door. Be aware and be wise to that as well. Too many dumpees see this as love coming home and than they get hurt worse then the last time.That game plays all of the time. Many stories on LS to prove it as you may have read yourself. Feel out your emotions and know that you WILL become less and less angered by the thought of her. You'll see. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chuck636333 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I was in a 7 year relationship as well, and she broke my heart as well, and just as you, I will not take her back again. I'm over it now (thank god) but hopefully she never comes back to you to even test the will power, good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author unforgotten Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Too much emotion. Too much anger. Keep the strict nc, you are still fragile. I agree. I am doing my best to keep the NC going. Let me guys ask you something. How do I get her out of my head? I still think about her daily, she's probably the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing before I go to sleep. I am reliving happy and sad moments we shared and I still feel bad and sad. I try to snap out of it but sometimes it's hard when you get caught up in that vicious circle. I miss her from time to time. I'm not free yet. Do I completely stop talking about her? I still sometimes talk about the BU with some of my friends. Maybe I should also stop doing that? All the giggles and butterflies that come with the beginnings always simmer down. IF she is just living on the high on the rush of the "newness", she will most likely do to the new bf what she did to you...if not, come sniffing at your door. Be aware and be wise to that as well. Too many dumpees see this as love coming home and than they get hurt worse then the last time.That game plays all of the time. Many stories on LS to prove it as you may have read yourself. I'll be smart enough to come and post here instead. I don't think she's ever coming back though. Its kind of funny how she turned things around acting all distant and cold looking for ways that I'd break up with her. She wouldn't feel guilty that way. When it couldn't go that way she'd lie and try to hide the fact that there is a 3rd person involved. The only thing left to do for her was to blame it all on me and I fell for it. What an idiot. She called me manipulative and selfish but she was describing herself all along. I was in a 7 year relationship as well, and she broke my heart as well, and just as you, I will not take her back again. I'm over it now (thank god) but hopefully she never comes back to you to even test the will power, good luck How long did it take for you to get over her? Can you offer some advice? Link to post Share on other sites
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