mawkij Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) Well...she thought the grass is greener plus u said or did bad things plus she is pressured by work or study plus her family doesnt like u that much plus she feels she can do better "we all do at some stage " plus u got busy for sometime, plus she didnt hint you and you didnt observe anything .....all this equals loss of attraction ... the idea of breaking up will start sparkling in her head when all or most of this combination is present and she ll probably reject it for the first few times ...till that solution becomes the first thing that comes to her head whenever she feels down even if its sth in her work not related to u at this stage its unfair to you cuz you might be paying for stuff u have nothing to do with eventually she will collect herself make the decision ready for the consequences and you know what the dumper will feel just goooooood after she eases all the pressure ...may be sorry for you for a few days out of pity.. .then she will be supporting herself everyday that she saved herself...girls usually have greater options out there than guys...most of the time there are guys even waiting for the breakup to jump into ur place. Me and every guy who was the dumpee at this stage will wish she will soon recognize what she left behind and just come back crawling when I work up ny mind through the stages she has passed I see its so rare that can happen , she probably have a completely different attitude now or few weeks post the breakup totally different than urs. if you put youself in her shoes you will get the feeling...sorry but she threw you by her own hands wisely not drunk in the garbage....its so rare when we go back get stuff from the garbage. She took her time thinking....threatened herself...she said to herself ".you wont be able to get him back and she proceeded with the decision I think we should all be aware to this point and believe in it . Now I ll take about myself ... You dont have to think like me but after reading and taking advices from older and younger ppl ...I made a decision for myself. Ofcourse you will not be sad about the break up unless you truly loved the girl through and after the relation and ofcourse you want her back also because you believe she still loves you....if you doubt any of those dont continue ... When I first met her it was zero percent hope we will be together and few days later it became 100 percent and we committed After she left me I just think I am below zero as she will avoid you by all means to prove herself right... After few weeks or months of nc the hope will go back to zero or may be exceed cuz by that time she almost forgot what made her leave you and the reasons shall become not convincing What we need is to prove to her that her decision was wrong. How? Do you think her decision was wrong? Really?? I think I should prove to myself first that her decision was wrong ...I need to do all the stuff I was planning to do for myself physically and mentally but I always postponed. You should prove to urself by being able to date girls who are on her level and better....the moment you gain back yourself pride and confidence is the perfect moment you can tey recontacting her.... I imagine myself texting her while having another 2 girls texting me and hittng on me... At this moment you will not be scared of the response...at this poiny you have yourself collected .... and I think it shall be easy to get her back.....most people are just lazy we are all lazy we dont want to work .... we want to get what we want by sitting there smoking or drinking ....the only way to success i can see is challenge .....you should be a challenge for women not only her.... if you can do that you can get her....if you are just lazy like most of us keep reading the forums and burning ur mind and believe me no hope Edited January 10, 2015 by mawkij Link to post Share on other sites
Holmes85 Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 mawkij, When people tend to GIGS, they believe that they can me much happier than they really are, they want to experience life, they want to be adventurous, they believe by being with you, they are selling themselves short and deserve much better. Some Woman (and Men) tend to have the next one lined up before breaking up. You say Woman tend to have more "options" than men, let me tell you something from experience, great quantity does not equals to great quality. The reality is, it does not matter which relationship you go through, if you are confident in yourself, if you know what you want, you are loving, caring, providing and if there is no cheating and physical abuse involved and yet your partner still leaves you because of GIGS, you can sit back and watch the fireworks happen. You see the thing is, when something starts off as fresh and new, it looks like the best thing ever, after some time the newness starts to dissolve, you get used to things and start taking things for granted, imagine when you guys first got a smartphone, what was your feeling? After some time you got used to it, then you start to complain this function could be better, this app needs improving ...and so on, you get the point, but once it breaks or gets stolen, you suddenly realize the worth of it. The realtionships after a while start to become routine, most people tend to confuse stability, respect and understanding for weakness and think that the spark in the relationship is gone, they start looking at something fresh again to get that "feeling" back, but after a while it starts to go back to the same circle as before. Now either at this moment they have a point of realization or they jump onto to the next one (depending on the mental stability of the person). There is nothing black and white in relationships, either you love someone or you don't. Many Men / Woman say that they want to be in a great relationship, but once the opportunity presents itself, they are not interested in it, they try to make excuses in order to justify there decision. Have a look around most of the dumpers threads here, 8/10 are trying to convice themselves that they did the right decision, their reasons are all the same: - I feel like I want to do more with my life. - I am not sure if I want this anymore - My feelings have changed - I don't want to be exclusive - He/She has drugs / alcohol problems - I am just not happy anymore Even today I read it in a thread, the dumper said "my Gf is a 7 out of 10, I want someone that's a 9/10...but I love her..." Here are the two recent dumpers threads http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/510253-broke-up-someone-i-love-questions http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/510049-before-heartbreaker-i-heartbreaker If you dig in further in most threads here, the underlying message is still the same: - They think they can do better - They are confused - They don't want to second guess their decision - They want to convince themselves that it was the right thing to do It doesn't matter what the reason is, if someone is going to breakup with you, they are always going to find reasons to breakup with you. If someone really loves you, they don't have to search for reasons to breakup with you. My motto is this, you treat them well and let them leave, if someone doesn't appreciate you, someone else will (this of course doesnot apply if you treated your Ex'es bad, cheated, physical abuse, had alcohol or other drug problems). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gnick Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 This is a great thread for me right now.I for one appreciate all the thoughtful responses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mawkij Posted January 10, 2015 Author Share Posted January 10, 2015 Well said holmes ....so helpful I wish things gets better for all of us in this new year Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts