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Can you be friend w your ex? or someone you dated?

Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 31st December 2014, 10:35 AM   #1
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Can you be friend w your ex? or someone you dated?

I find it hard for me to be become a friend of my ex. Can you be friend w your ex? or someone you dated?
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Old 31st December 2014, 10:40 AM   #2
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Why would you want to be?
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Old 31st December 2014, 11:02 AM   #3
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It depends, I think, on why you broke up, your maturity levels, and if you see any real reason to be.

I am friends with one of my exes, one I lived with. We mutually drifted apart and split with no animosity. Well, very little anyway. We are better as friends than as lovers.

She isn't a close friend, in that we don't visit often (once in past year I think) and only occasionally email and talk. But I consider her a friend and would help her if she was in need, just as I would any other friend.

Just like any other friend, she realizes that, my GF takes precedence, just as I would expect her current BF to take precedence.

So yeah, it's possible. It all depends on why you decide to remain friends. For us, there is no hope, nor desire to reconcile the old relationship. If one of you is hoping too...then a friendship will not work
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Old 31st December 2014, 11:05 AM   #4
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the only ex I am genuinely friends with is my sons father and thats cause we have known each other since I was 17/he was 21 and we have a child in common that we need to make joint decisions about

I hope I never see my most recent ex again. And actually my sons father was really supportive when we split up and I fell apart.
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Old 31st December 2014, 11:33 AM   #5
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Not initially & you will never have the same ease of interaction.

After 25+ years my husband & I socialize with my high school BF & his wife but he & I don't chat a lot between times when the 4 of us go out except to schedule a double or triple date with a 3rd couple.
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Old 31st December 2014, 11:37 AM   #6
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I don't. Keeping an ex into my life, and dating someone new? "New guy, this is ex. Ex, this is new guy". Awkward, unnecessary, and not something I have any interest in doing.
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Old 31st December 2014, 11:38 AM   #7
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I've maintained friendships (to some extent) with some of my ex's.

Honestly though, I don't see the point. In one case, I am legit platonic friends with him. I haven't seen him in person in years though because we live so far apart. Despite not even having any sort of "real" relationship with this person, I found out not too long ago that his current girlfriend was giving him s.hit for still being in contact with me on occasion via Facebook or text.

He took a trip to the city where I live to go to a sports game (he never told me this and never reached out to try to get together to see me) and a year after that happened he actually told me that his girlfriend was going off on him, screaming, "I bet you're going to see KatZee and you're lying about this sports event. I bet you're going to bang KatZee!!!"

What the hell? We never even spoke like that to each other on FB or text. But because we dated when we were 17, apparently he was coming to have sex with me.

Ex's will always directly, or indirectly, cause drama in new relationships. No matter how cool a girl or guy seems to be, the second they find out there's an ex somewhere... forget it. It's not worth the drama of hearing a significant other prattle on and on and make accusations and assumptions. It's for this reason that my ex turned platonic friend, stopped speaking with me. We didn't talk for about a year and a half, and then randomly out of no where he was like, "we broke up. I miss my friends, including you. She caused me to cut so many people out of my life b/c of her insecurity and I'm sorry for that."

The people I consider "friends" that I've dated, are really nothing more than acquaintances now. I don't see the point in having active friendships beyond "Happy Holidays" or "Happy Birthday, hope you're doing well" if the relationship ended on a positive note.

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Old 31st December 2014, 11:40 AM   #8
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Not if you're still in love with him/her
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Old 31st December 2014, 12:23 PM   #9
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Not if there's still romantic feelings.

I'm friends with a couple of my ex's (not very close friends though) - we ended it on pretty good terms and they were a big part of my life for a while, they are good people and we have a lot in common so why not keep them as friends.. we weren't friends righ away though (there was a pretty extensive NC period).

That being said, I should also explain that I'm having really hard time letting people out of my life (any people really ) ..I often cling on everyone, even those who are bad for me - that's probably another issue
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Old 31st December 2014, 12:28 PM   #10
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Yeah, sure, years later when both of you don't give a crap and can go out on a double date and not feel awkward.
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Old 31st December 2014, 12:30 PM   #11
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Friends with a few of my ex's but more casual friends. It takes time though as initially it wasn't possible. It isn't possible if you have romantic feelings.
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