Starting No Contact with EX girlfriend

[teamjordan12]

Hey guys so I need some advice from anyone who reads this please. I'm on day 1 of NC with my ex who I love with all my heart and who still means alot to me not as a ex but just as a human being in general. So here is my brief story all I'm seeking is advice on what to do etc.

 

Ok we dated for about 2 years before the break-up, and yes I know the reasons of the breakup (Alot of little stupid things like me being immature at times and crap like that.) Before I went on No Contact she gets all loud and yells at me because of child support (We have a 2 year old daughter together) but we cleared up and the last words i heard from her was "Thank You". Now about NC I know that I need to work on myself and gain control of my life back I understand that even though its still hard to not think about her everyday I wake up but I'll make it. We were going to get married at one point (About 3 months ago) but things kinda went downhill and I broke off the marriage. a couple days ago she said she doesnt love me anymore and doesn't see a future with me and our daughter BUT she has said this before and we had got back together. I know for sure NC will work not just for us but for me GETTING MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER. Now here are my questions I would like you guys to answer.

 

1. So if she calls me I don't answer? Remember we have a daughter together so NC will kinda be hard.

 

2. How long should I stay In No Contact? Today is day 1 I was thinking maybe 30 days or more?

 

3. I pick up my daughter every Tuesday,Thursday,and Sunday and sometimes I might run into my ex when I'm dropping my daughter back at her house (My daughter stays with my ex). So if i do see her do I just say hey or just be polite?

 

P:S - I truly see myself with this girl as a family with my daughter and I would want to marry her in 2015. I UNDERSTAND that during this process I must move on and be happy for myself and just live life

 

Any help and advice helps thanks!

[WonderWoman911]

Well being as though you have a child with her you have to stay in contact with her. So the 'no contact' idea is out the window. But I will say when it comes to anything besides your daughter, such as you daily agenda, how's work,common conversation,etc., you don't have to communicate those things with her. As you said,you need to work on yourself and get your life back together. So if she's an impediment of you trying to do so, then take how long you need. I can't tell you how many days you'll need. But if you do come into contact with her, you can just let her know politely that you would just like it if she calls you for the matter of your daughter.

[Elle1975]

NC with a child is called Limited Contact. Let her know that she can only contact you regarding your daughter. Remain civil, but firm.

 

I'd also let he know about your plan to get your life back on track. That's where remaining firm will play in your favor. She might realize you really are serious this time, and she again might see you in a new favorable light.

 

I believe this will only work if you really do mean it, and do make the changes that you want to make in your life. If you're just saying it to get her back, and don't actually work on anything, you'll lose her for good.

[teamjordan12]

Thanks for your replies I will def. try to stay in No Contact UNLESS about my daughter.

 

@elle1975 I emailed her saying the whole getting my life back on track and I'm sure she won't reply back but she def. Read it.

 

So I guess back to working on myself well wish me luck during "Limited Contact" and thanks once again I'll have updates or another post if anything happens!

[teamjordan12]

Ok so I've been in NC for about 2 days now but today me and my ex girlfriend had to take our 2 year old daughter to the doctor( our daughter lives with her.) So I couldn't really be NC while she was in the car with me but anyways everything went fine and she was telling me how maybe in Feb. "if things work out" she wanted me to go with her to see her brother in florida with her family. I simply said yeah that would be great and just kept the convo. going

 

When I was dropping them off we ended up kissing just a peck nothing serious before she left. She told me to have a good day and I said the same and left.

 

Since then I have not texted her or called and she hasn't either so what do I do from here? Do I continue to stay in NC? (Our previous relationship lasted about 3 years and I'm still in love with her)