PuerAeternus Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 So i was in a long distance relationship for about 1.5 years. I am in a fortunate situation that i could pay for it to work and i foolishly did. We spent quite a bit of time together probably about 5 trips over that period of time. We had planned to go somewhere now for the end of the year, to cut a very long story short, when she didnt get to go to where she wanted (bali or maldives) as i had said it would be better for me to go to her country she just called the whole thing off. I feel like i am was in some sort of disgusting russian bride type situation. I spent money on cellphones, holidays, and i bought her and her daughter many things over this period of time. i think in total i would have spent easily 20-30k dollars if not more over the period of time. During this period i realised that this was so bad for me, that this person was not in my calibre, and i would probably be miserable as we truly did come from different backgrounds. I would quite easily say this was just a russian bride scenario if i had not met her family who are such down to earth people. I guess i am disappointed, hurt, and most of used. I guess i have questions that feel so unanswered - i have naturally not made and i dont intend to make any form of contact , so i wont get the answers. I am mature and old enough to know that it was not love or this would not have happened, and i guess the way it happened, really makes me question relationships and people in general - what we are capable of and why we do certain things. The thoughts linger on was it someone else, was it the money, was it to move from a pretty impoverished life to a 5 star one, or was it simply loneliness that made her drift away. Regardless it just feels like a strange place, i guess i am angry at myself for having invested in this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
JMOC Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Man I can definitely relate to the pain you are going through. I recently had a similar situation. I didn't have the money to spend but I still for myself spent a large amount and did a large amount. I gave more emotional changes and still ended up in the same situation. I am now probably in the same place as you. Sitting here wondering what I can do to ever get her back. Granted I dont know how long this was for you and I dont know your feelings. I cant say it will get better straight away because I cant even tell myself that. What I can say is that there are others that are going through the same thing. It helps very little but I just look for a chat and distraction at the moment. Something to keep my mind away from the pain. Sorry I couldn't help more but feel free to ask anything and I will gladly give an opinion Link to post Share on other sites
Author PuerAeternus Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 I believe there is a different kind of pain associated with a relationship that seems was fake from the start than one where people grow apart. Its a tough thing to think about - was it all fake? was money more important. I have also learnt that some people, for whatever reason or genetic wiring are simply able to hit a switch and not look back, others like myself in particular ponder on it, if we ponder to hard it has the ability to even eat us up. Hard to say who is better off, but it sure sucks being here now. Link to post Share on other sites
HurtGator Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 I believe there is a different kind of pain associated with a relationship that seems was fake from the start than one where people grow apart. Its a tough thing to think about - was it all fake? was money more important. I have also learnt that some people, for whatever reason or genetic wiring are simply able to hit a switch and not look back, others like myself in particular ponder on it, if we ponder to hard it has the ability to even eat us up. Hard to say who is better off, but it sure sucks being here now. I think its scary how some people can just flip the switch like that. These people are untrustworthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PuerAeternus Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 Hard to say untrustworthy some people are emotionally able to do it.. Link to post Share on other sites
JMOC Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 I think some people find it easier to just bury and forget. They turn to others to dull the pain that they have. Although this works at the time. There comes a point where they end up dealing with these emotions and by then we are far done with the situation Link to post Share on other sites
Author PuerAeternus Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 JMOC: that is a pretty good observation and i believe its something that it truly does impact them in future relationships as well. I think that if you are good and honest in a relationship, then even though you go through the pain of break-ups its easier ultimately because you dont carry in proverbial 'daemons' with you. Whilst others who behave 'immorally' carry them and ultimately as the saying goes karma is a B..... Link to post Share on other sites
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