marioa51 Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 Hey, so just a heads up this will be a long one, but i really need some help!!! Me and my GF had our 10 months last sunday, and everything was fine. We are both 19, and everyone always said we were the perfect couple. We even admitted it to, and everything was fine. Fast forward to now i have nothing, and am alone. Well I'll give you background first, me and my girlfriend always agreed that we would never see opposite sex 1 v 1, and if we were asked we would tell eachother. While she upheld her side, i did not and i saw this girl who is my friend occasionally at uni and outside. I never told her, and I think she grew sus because she would see me text her and hide it (as you do) and then i had her party on sunday which i said i wouldnt go to, but when i suggested going she said "you really want to go out on our 10 months?". I didnt go. Tuesday morning we are laying in bed and i say if i can see her facebook inboxes she can see mine, so we swap. I didnt really look at hers, but she briefly scrolled through mine, saw that girl and clicked on it. She scrolled through a bit and saw we sent eachother a selfie, then i think saw that i had planned to meet up with her. She instantly said why are you sending selfies to her, before asking if i had ever met up with her. I declined and denied it over and over, so she lay down and didnt speak. we then ended up hugging and having sex, and i thought it was gonna be okay, but before she left for work she seemed angry and i was saying can we fix this before she goes but she left, and said she would text me. She then texted me saying, did you see her? I kept denying she kept saying im full of lies and that lies ruin relationships. and she also said that she always turned down seeing guys for me. She ignored me for the rest of the day, ignored my calls. Until at night i said i would come over and she said she wont be home, she then asked when i planned to see her next and i said wednesday. Which was true. She then never said anything despite my constant reassurances that i want to fix it that im sorry and that i love her. Wednesday morning i send her a goodmorning text, while she sends me one saying in brief "i broke her trust, went behind her back and was seeing that girl while we were both happy, that she never did anything wrong, that she doesnt wanna be one of those girls who go back to dickheads, that i ruined something so special and perfect and she was happy she didnt ruin it, that she cant talk to me because im full of lies and stupid excuses. She then said finally "we were perfect and now i have to move on". She deleted all our photos on fb after, which really hurt. I sent texts and fb messages after, before finally in the afternoon coming clean. I said over fb,that i really wanted to say this in person but i cant now. And i basically admitted that i lied and i did meet up with her at uni and outside uni once,and that i knew it was wrong and im sorry and i was so scared to say anything and that i love her and we can fix this. And ill do whatever it takes to fix it. after i sent that she read it then blocked me on fb. Now it all happened so suddenly i think she might just said it out of anger, but what can i do if she doesnt say anything to me? should i go to her house? i spoke to her sister and she just said "get ****ed". I spoke to her friends and they said they agree we should both talk, only her friends would help me. Im scared if i go to her house she wont be there or her parents wont let me talk to her. Is there any chance of this ever working? PLS HELP THANKYOU SO MUCH !!! Link to post Share on other sites
mav3rik Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I wouldn't bet on it. You are both young and are still on your teens. Don't worry about it, bro. I'd say let it be, she's on that stage where she probably wants to explore.. and you should be, too. just think of it this way, its better to have happened now. You still have so much ahead of you. Link to post Share on other sites
unforgotten Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 You never told us or your gf what was the real reason you were hiding your relationship with that girl. You can be honest here, we won't judge. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 She then texted me saying, did you see her? I kept denying she kept saying im full of lies and that lies ruin relationships. and she also said that she always turned down seeing guys for me. I said over fb,that i really wanted to say this in person but i cant now. And i basically admitted that i lied and i did meet up with her at uni and outside uni once,and that i knew it was wrong and im sorry and i was so scared to say anything and that i love her and we can fix this. And ill do whatever it takes to fix it. after i sent that she read it then blocked me on fb. OP: Why were you afraid to tell her the truth? Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 It's over unless she changes her mind. Take it as an obvious lesson to be learned. Own what you did, and don't do it in future relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
whatcanitellyou Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 If you're not ready be exclusive then don't ask for it from a woman. You had a side thing but wanted your gf to be exclusive, you lied about it and she caught you and dumped you. Move on, learn not to lie, and don't agree to be exclusive if you're not ready for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marioa51 Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 You never told us or your gf what was the real reason you were hiding your relationship with that girl. You can be honest here, we won't judge. Yes she was the reason i was hiding it. should i tell her this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author marioa51 Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 i was afraid because i knew it was wrong and knew it would upset her and i didnt want to upset her. it sounds strange but its the truth Link to post Share on other sites
unforgotten Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 (edited) I bet you were checking out the territory out there and got caught by doing so weren't you? Give yourself and your girl some time off, think about how you feel and if you were being honest with her. Then if you still want her, write an apology and suggest you give it one more try and you'll do your best. Remind her that you actually didn't cross any serious boundaries, that you were just being friends, didn't cheat on her or got emotionally involved or something like that. Tell her what she means to you. A hand written letter would be nice wouldn't you say? Oh, and remind her that if you were the one that actually gave her the full access to your private conversations it should be obvious to her you had nothing to hide but it was a mistake you didn't tell her. Edited November 26, 2014 by unforgotten Link to post Share on other sites
whatcanitellyou Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 It had very little to do with upsetting her and you know it. Perhaps you just didn't want the conflict, but you were hiding it for you, not her. Some of us have been around a little longer than you and what's going on is nothing new. You like your gf and want hold on to her while you explore your possibilities in case you don't find anything better. Happens all the time, especially with young people. Doesn't make you a bad guy, just immature and not ready to be exclusive. Just leave her alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 My ex hid the fact that he was still talking to his cheating ex because he was afraid I was going to get mad. God only knows if that was the real reason. I think you could try and tell her/show her you are being honest, but that alone still won't guarantee if she will get back with you. If you really want to be with her/love her, then try. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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