mav3rik Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I just reactivated my fb after a months and posted a picture of my progress.. been exercising a lot lately and going to the gym and got a new tattoo. She texted me after a day and asked about the tattoo. I didn't reply so she called after half an hour and surprisingly, I didn't feel anything, I wasn't hurt, it was all casual and we ended up talking for couple of hours mostly just catching up. I asked her if her new bf is treating her good. She said it was too early to tell but so far so great. I think her new bf is actually good for her because she wouldn't let her go out to drink or let her smoke and other stuff. So, I guess, I want to thank everyone on here. You guys were great help and I wish you all the best and it gets better. I have to make this short as possible as I need to go to work. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Good to see you are over her. Nonetheless, some dumpers try to stick onto you like leeches once they realize that too. Keep minimum contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I'm happy to hear that you are at this point. However, I really don't understand why she is calling you when she has a boyfriend. Truth is, things are probably not going so well for her with her new man. Either way, its not your concern and I love seeing people reach the point of indifference. Good for you and never stop improving yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hazy_shade_of_grey Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Congrats! that is really good to hear. Thank you for posting your success! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mav3rik Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 thank you, It wasn't easy, I had to remove myselft from all social networks (i only have fb and kakao talk) so that I don't have to see her or our mutual friends posting pics of her. I focused on mountainbiking and lifting for the last 45 days to get my confidence back. As for her calling me. I dunno. I did ask her if her bf is going to be upset if he finds out she's still calling me. Her answer was: "I am just saying, hello. There's nothing bad about that. so how are you? did the tattoo hurt? etc etc" I asked her how her sister was and her mom too. we just ended up talking and catching up. towards the end she said "I'm glad we are friends again" to which i said "We are not friends, we are just having a casual conversation right now" (in a friendly/joking tone) so i guess she didn't take that seriously.. she even wants me to set up a time when we can get together with some of our friends.. to which i said i am not promising anything. Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 thank you, It wasn't easy, I had to remove myselft from all social networks (i only have fb and kakao talk) so that I don't have to see her or our mutual friends posting pics of her. I focused on mountainbiking and lifting for the last 45 days to get my confidence back. As for her calling me. I dunno. I did ask her if her bf is going to be upset if he finds out she's still calling me. Her answer was: "I am just saying, hello. There's nothing bad about that. so how are you? did the tattoo hurt? etc etc" I asked her how her sister was and her mom too. we just ended up talking and catching up. towards the end she said "I'm glad we are friends again" to which i said "We are not friends, we are just having a casual conversation right now" (in a friendly/joking tone) so i guess she didn't take that seriously.. she even wants me to set up a time when we can get together with some of our friends.. to which i said i am not promising anything. Don't contact her any more. As Lauri mentioned, things are probably on the rocks and she is reaching out to you to see if you're still around. Ignore her some more. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I'd even go on to say that this was a call to see if you hate her. Pretty much, after a 2 hour conversation, she feels that you two are okay now and that she can have you apart of her life as a "friend". I wouldn't continue contact with her. Chances are, she won't even tell her boyfriend that she contacted you. I don't know about you man, but I think that even though you are over her, she could still have the potential to try to say things / do things to get under your skin (like my ex did with my lack of sexual experience). Either way, if she feels better about herself then hopefully she will leave you alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mav3rik Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 To be honest, i really don't want to analyze why she called me all of a sudden. it could be i look new to her now since I changed so much or her relationship is on the rocks or neither or what have you.. I certainly don't intend on calling her or texting her as well. But I will admit that it's such a boost to have her call me first, wherein 4 months ago i was flooding her inbox and pleading her to stay. I came a long way for this moment so I'm not about to open up my stitched wounds. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 To be honest, i really don't want to analyze why she called me all of a sudden. it could be i look new to her now since I changed so much or her relationship is on the rocks or neither or what have you.. I certainly don't intend on calling her or texting her as well. But I will admit that it's such a boost to have her call me first, wherein 4 months ago i was flooding her inbox and pleading her to stay. I came a long way for this moment so I'm not about to open up my stitched wounds. Agreed man. Sorry to put an over analysis on it - I tend to do that too much! It should be an ego boost to know that you were able to keep control, not care and have her contact you first. It shows that you're only progressing and doing extremely well. You're in control and that is what matters the most. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mav3rik Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 it's all good! don't apologize for it lauri. I appreciate all of your inputs and I have learned from most of them. i have been reading each thread posted whenever i am bored in the office. hehe Link to post Share on other sites
Author mav3rik Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 I'd even go on to say that this was a call to see if you hate her. ". . I agree with this as this actually came up during our conversation. she said "I'd understand if you would hate me" I said "there's no point in hating, it's never going to solve anything. especially on my end" Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 If you're really truly over her why do you think you spent hours catching up with her? Maybe you are over her enough to be friends but BE CAREFUL. Like NoLimit said...dumpers will try to stick to you like leeches if you let them. And that's the last thing you need in your life after all the progress you've made. Best wishes! J Link to post Share on other sites
Author mav3rik Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 If you're really truly over her why do you think you spent hours catching up with her? J I honestly don't know how that call took more than an hour. In my mind it feels like one of those old friend of yours who calls you once every year just to talk and say what's up. and you kinda know that the next time you will talk to them would after a year or so.. That's how I felt. Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Hours talking on the phone? Sorry, I dont think youre over her yet. You will have a huge set back in 3, 2, 1.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mav3rik Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 (edited) Hours talking on the phone? Sorry, I dont think youre over her yet. You will have a huge set back in 3, 2, 1.... hahaha.. i guess we'll find out in a few days. I'll post here if anything comes up.. 1 phone call in 3 something months that lasted a little over an hour won't be enough to deter my resolve for inner peace. Edited October 13, 2014 by mav3rik 1 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I honestly don't know how that call took more than an hour. In my mind it feels like one of those old friend of yours who calls you once every year just to talk and say what's up. and you kinda know that the next time you will talk to them would after a year or so.. That's how I felt. Well that's great! Hopefully she won't be calling you again. But...we both know she will. Glad you'll be keeping us updated on the matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 good for you, ive just started down the road of recovery myself its hard but i will get there Link to post Share on other sites
Author mav3rik Posted October 16, 2014 Author Share Posted October 16, 2014 (edited) Well that's great! Hopefully she won't be calling you again. But...we both know she will. Glad you'll be keeping us updated on the matter. She never called again, which is what I expected. she's really a good person despite breaking my heart. She probably swallowed a lot of her pride just to call me and she's really not the cheating type.. (which is her best quality). So I wouldn't expect to hear from her.. probably ever. I don't really care at this point. Lauri was probably spot on when she mentioned that she(ex) was just checking if I'm okay. On a side note, my 2 other exes also called me within the week. I'm friends with the other one but not with the 2nd (she cheated). the 2nd one wants me back. Saying she already paid for cheating on me because her rebound is abusive and makes her feel ugly. Plus, I lost 50lbs since she last saw me, which was last year of july. (finally unblocked her in fb). I just laughed and politely said I have no intention to be in a relationship right now (with her). Edited October 16, 2014 by mav3rik Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 On a side note, my 2 other exes also called me within the week. Holy ****! Your life is starting to resolve right in front of your eyes! Better look both ways twice before crossing the street! Link to post Share on other sites
Xiane Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I came a long way for this moment so I'm not about to open up my stitched wounds. Nice one dude. I think you are in the right track, Stay with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mav3rik Posted October 17, 2014 Author Share Posted October 17, 2014 Holy ****! That's probably what all of them said. lol. Seriously, though, I am really focused on getting toned at the moment so, not getting back to anyone nor actively searching for someone. This is the longest time I have been single for the last 9 years.. So, I'll give this time for me. And I think the timing could never be more perfect, I have no kids, I have a job that pays well and I have no debts. I can finally focus on my dreams (becoming good at surfing) Link to post Share on other sites
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