Do I do no contact?

[solong123]

Basically my ex and I broke up about a week and a half ago. I truly did not reach out to him and was trying to accept it. However, he began to text me saying he missed me, us, blahblah but then later would say that we have to accept this break up. I would just agree not plead or anything but then he would continue to text me like normal but still talk about how he "missed me". So I apparently read things wrong and now I am just trying to get some advice. Would it be best for me to just not respond anymore? He was never the type to play mind games but I feel like that is what this is now. Not sure how you can say you miss someone, but not want to date them yet still text them like nothing?

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

OK, so he broke first and told you he missed you... now it is up to you to feel good about allowing for complete disconnect.

 

Sure you both miss each other, but do you feel it is best to move on or not?

 

If you truly feel it is time, then do it. Tell him your goodbyes if need be to close the deal, and disconnect. Blocking emails, txts, and forget about checking social sites for activity.

 

Go cold turkey and move on. That simple. Just allow yourself to move on instead of dwelling on the past. Find a new life that is waiting for you.

[littleblacksubmarine]

I've had this before, they most likely genuinely miss you, but they don't want to be with you or are at the very least confused about their feelings. So explain to them briefly, by email so that you can minimise the emotion involved, that if you are not going to be together it is best not to have any contact for a while. I tend to inform them that I'll be blocking them as well to prevent them taking offence, as this can lead to them contacting you. Just don't go over the top explaining your feelings, it should be a fairly neutral email. Maybe post a draft of it on here first and ask what people think

[h20-50]

I've had this before, they most likely genuinely miss you, but they don't want to be with you or are at the very least confused about their feelings. So explain to them briefly, by email so that you can minimise the emotion involved, that if you are not going to be together it is best not to have any contact for a while. I tend to inform them that I'll be blocking them as well to prevent them taking offence, as this can lead to them contacting you. Just don't go over the top explaining your feelings, it should be a fairly neutral email. Maybe post a draft of it on here first and ask what people think

 

I agree with this 100%. I've been there where I've been completely in love with a woman but my head wasn't on the same page (long story but she mind f***ed me with her insecurities and doubts). I never doubted US or the R until she kept bringing it up. Had she gone NC I would have snapped out of it and came RUNNING back because my heart was truly hers. She didn't go NC and it kept messing with my head, putting me in this emotional roller coaster. We don't talk any longer, by the time my head was cleared of all the crap she put me through she was dating someone else because he "made more sense". Anyways go NC, it'll force his confusion into the forefront and he will decide to step up or move on forever. You will get his true feelings in his answer at the end depending on what he does.

[mightycpa]

There's probably nothing worse than an ex who wants to break up, but won't let go. When you catch a fish, and decide to throw it back, everybody knows it is cruel to let it flop around on the deck. You don't put the hook back in its mouth and drag it behind your boat. You release the fish back into the waters, free and clear.

 

Relationships are no different.

[me85]

Do yourself a favor, tell him he's confusing you and since you're broken up you'd rather not speak anymore. When he goes to explain "He's not trying to confused you..." blah blah blah... simply tell him, "Regardless, you are." And just tell him you don't want to speak to him anymore. Only repeat that to him twice. If he still insists on texting you, block him.

 

Save yourself loads of wasted of time because if you continue to text him that's all it will be.

 

People will move mountains to be with someone. Blocking them wouldn't stop them from reaching you and trying to make amends with you if they really wanted to. Remember that.

 

Don't settle.

[Elle1975]

Yes, it's possible to end a relationship with someone, and have this feeling of loss at the same time. They miss the companionship, I'm sure you have a lot of great qualities, etc..

 

So yes, I'm sure he does miss you, but he does not want to be with you.

 

I personally would just block his number. When you allow him to contact you, you allow him to feel better by dumping his feelings on you. To allow him to contact you will NOT make him change his mind.

 

"Miss you" doesn't mean "I love you, I screwed up".

 

When someone doesn't want to be in a relationship, then that's that.. end of it. Show your strengh, show that you don't mop around, be civil, but show this guy you keep on living without him.

[Michael 93]

Implement NC right away. Best thing to do..

Mike

[cif]

Basically my ex and I broke up about a week and a half ago. I truly did not reach out to him and was trying to accept it. However, he began to text me saying he missed me, us, blahblah but then later would say that we have to accept this break up. I would just agree not plead or anything but then he would continue to text me like normal but still talk about how he "missed me". So I apparently read things wrong and now I am just trying to get some advice. Would it be best for me to just not respond anymore? He was never the type to play mind games but I feel like that is what this is now. Not sure how you can say you miss someone, but not want to date them yet still text them like nothing?

 

He's probably not playing mind games just very confused. Send him a message that for your own good you'll be blocking him and would appreciate him not contacting you anymore.