princessmeowmeow Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 so anyway, on friday i told a guy i was in a new relationship with that i just wanted to be friends and that i wanted to see other people. i told him i needed more time to get to know him as a FRIEND before i committed myself into an exclusive relationship. (we had been in one). i just need to know that he's right for me and that i can trust him, and seeing other people or being able to see other people would keep me from getting attached to him if he's wrong for me. the thing is i also have lingering feelings for a previous fling, even though the previous guy is so wrong for me. this guy was aware of previous and guy and the fact that we had had sex, so i told him that he would have to wait 6 months cuz i didn't want to make the same mistake again -- which is absolutely true. so he talked to me on the phone today and said he understood and that we were at different stages in life, maybe we're not right for each other. he's ready to settle down and i'm waiting to meet the right person, while still being able to do drugs and drink alcohol. he's completely sober and doesn't touch alcohol. we are 34 and 25 (me younger). he refused to be just friends, because we'd made some physical contact already (no sex). said it would be impossible. so he just ended it on the phone then and there. i was so devastated, and now i really regret doing what i did. how do i get him back? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 I'm sorry, but I think you need to let him go unless you're really ready to give up partying to settle down, have babies and live in the suburbs. If that's the case, contact him and tell him. Otherwise, let him be because you're at completely different stages in life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 The question isn't how to get him back, but rather are you ready to grow up? No idea what it is with women being attracted to guys THEY KNOW are wrong for them. Maybe you should focus on improving yourself so that you don't have the same issues when you are 34. I think he is absolutely right in this case, you guys are in different stages of life and it has nothing to do with age. There seems to be a huge difference in mentality (drug use, etc.). I'd say leave him alone and work on yourself/get that stuff out of your system (pun intended). There is nothing wrong with being friends with someone before developing a relationship. But if I read that correctly, you were already in an exclusive relationship with him and then pulled back. That honestly doesn't make sense. I'm 27 and if put in that situation, I wouldn't stay either. Best of luck and I wish you well! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Give up drugs and excess alcohol consumption to start. But, really, he made the right decision. You're not mature enough to have a LTR with him or anyone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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