GF just dumped me and I'm having a really hard time.

[advisepleas]

First time posting one of these…hopefully it helps

 

So my gf and I were dating for about a year although we knew each other somewhat prior to dating. We were always drawn to each other. A little background- So she had recently broken up with her boyfriend of 2 years because she realized she was not going to marry him- We started hanging out as they were breaking up as she told me there was always something between us even while she was dating her ex. Once the relationship ended I asked if she needed sometime to be single before jumping into a relationship with me and she said no that it was inevitable what we would end up together and she had a crush on me for a while now ( I also had a crush on her for a while before we started dating)

 

So we begin dating and take things slowly. As time goes on we begin to see each other more often. She tells me she is still dealing with her break up but really really likes me and loves spending time with me. (She doesn’t regret breaking up with her ex shes just having a hard time because she feels guilty that she broke his heart) Anyway he keeps trying to reach out to her and she finally cuts off all communication with him for good and tells me she feels relieved that she finally gave her ex some closure---we now begin to get closer…We are very open and honest about everything that we are feeling and thinking and it feels great.

 

She tells me a couple months into the relationship that she doesn’t feel like she loves me yet but the relationship is still young and she wont tell me she loves me until she knows for sure. However we begin to spend more time together and get to know each other a lot better. We even take some trips together.

 

Couple months go by and were spending a lot of time together- we talk about how much we like each other, love spending time with each other and how great the other person is. Little bit more time goes by and I tell her I love her. She said she still doesn’t feel the same way about me but the feeling might develop…We get even closer to each other and spend more time together even getting to know each others families and going on more trips…She is very affectionate towards me and always wants to be around me (and I also always want to always be around her).

 

2 more months go by and it seems like were getting closer day by day and spending a lot of time with each other- we would often tell each other that there’s no one else that we would rather be spending time with and how great it is that were so compatible…anyway we go away one weekend and get back and she takes me to my room, starts crying and tells me we cant be together any longer. She said she still hasn’t felt love towards me and has been waiting for the feeling to make itself apparent but it just hasn’t and she doesn’t think it ever will…we talk for like an hour and hug, kiss and cry with each other then she leaves. We agree to get together later in the week to talk again.

 

Couple days go by and she comes over to talk. She tells me that although we are completely compatible and she cares about me, is very sexually attracted towards me, is happy when shes with me and loves spending time with me she hasn’t felt the love and thinks that she still made the right decision. We talk for about 2 hours about our relationship, feelings and also just about normal things we would always talk about. She tells me im her best friend and that’s why this hurts her so much. We cry and hug some more and she leaves.

 

Im heartbroken, I saw myself marrying her and becoming part of her family and her a part of mine. The relationship was amazing, I had never been happier and now I’ve never been sadder. I wish there was something about the relationship I could point to to make it easier to understand it wasn’t meant to me. We had similar future plans, never fought and were very affectionate with each other- Everyone would always comment on how much we were in love. There was nothing bad about the relationship. She is amazing in every single way and I miss her so much- everything was so much easier by just knowing that she was with me. I honestly felt like anything could happen and as long as she was by my side it wouldn’t be so bad.

 

We agreed to not talk for awhile as it would just make things too hard if we didn’t.

 

I don’t know what to do. I know that I need to accept that’s its over but its not that easy I just keep thinking about her and what could have been and how happy that would have made me. Its just so hard because even she said everything was always so great and there was never a bad moment between us.

 

 

I cant imagine ever finding someone to fill the void that she has left. She was amazing in every way imaginable. I have not met many girls (or people for that matter) in life that I have truly connected with(no one that I connected with at the level that I did with her) and she is the same way.

 

 

I don't know how to move forward.

[Simon Phoenix]

You just have to. Unfortunately, it sounds like you were a rebound of sorts -- a long rebound, but a rebound nonetheless. She was pretty consistent in the fact that she didn't love you, which sucks, but should, over time, help you de-idealize this relationship. One day you'll meet someone who doesn't have to try to love you, she just will.

 

Best thing you can do right now is completely stay out of contact, grieve for a bit, then become active in your recovery through hanging out with friends, making new friends, starting a project, working out, etc. It's a long road and it sucks, but this will allow you in time to find a woman who gives you the love you deserve.