iDrumKing Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I'm having hard time today trying to differentiate what's bothering me so much. Deep down I know it's the relationship/companionship that I miss, not her. But these damn guilt trips are making think otherwise. I dunno what to do because I'm here at work and I can't concentrate on a friggin thing
Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Interesting thought IDK. As it pertains to me, I just miss the companionship more than anything. There's something about having a connection with someone that makes feel good when you wake up in the morning until you go to bed at night. The good thing is that you now have the opportunity to find that companionship with someone else. And the feeling will be just as good as when you first met your ex. 1
Priv Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Probably the relationship moreso than the ex. Things couldn't have been that great or he/she wouldn't be your ex unfortunately. Kinda makes you wonder about the nature of relationships. Everyone is easily replacable by someone once a baseline connection has been established. 3
WYSWYG Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I'm convinced it's the company we miss more than the person. In the last few days, I started missing the things i did w/ my ex from 3 years ago. We shared the same active lifestyle. She was a real trooper w/ that teammate attitude and capability. We reconnected and remained friends. Nothing romantic really as we both dated others and was even supportive on our recent BU's. But people don't change and from time to time, the old personality clashes and egos would rear their ugly heads and strain the bond. She's a great girl. Despite the reasons of our BU, I still miss her company because we we're really adventurous in our days. 1
DannyCA Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 Probably the relationship moreso than the ex. Things couldn't have been that great or he/she wouldn't be your ex unfortunately. Kinda makes you wonder about the nature of relationships. Everyone is easily replacable by someone once a baseline connection has been established. ^ Exactly this. It's crazy because people try to justify "the one" and all but there will always be a million other people who you would connect with more, have more fun with, laugh with more, love more, etc and the same goes for the SO you are with. Honestly I have come to think that two people only settle down with each other when they are both at a stage in their lives when they no longer want to go out and try to find a mate and not because they have really found their soulmate 1
4everalones Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I'm having hard time today trying to differentiate what's bothering me so much. Deep down I know it's the relationship/companionship that I miss, not her. But these damn guilt trips are making think otherwise. I dunno what to do because I'm here at work and I can't concentrate on a friggin thing I think it's a little bit of both. You miss the companionship of course, you spent a lot of time with this person, you had new experiences, you felt great a certain point, and you want that back. You also miss that specific person, that special connection. I am sure that you meet new people all the time, and some of them might be interested in dating you. But still, you can't help but miss the ex, and compare new people to her. Everyone here says that it gets easier with time. Hang in there and try to focus on work for now. How about going out for a cup of coffee with a colleague? Then you can come back all full of energy and ready to be productive. I hope you'll feel better soon 1
sooshi Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 I miss both... at least, when he was doing well. I think I miss the companionship more than I miss him though. Good question, IDK. 1
Author iDrumKing Posted March 30, 2014 Author Posted March 30, 2014 I miss both... at least, when he was doing well. I think I miss the companionship more than I miss him though. Good question, IDK. Thanks sooshi. It's just been on my mind. My day DID get better. Constantly reminding myself that I have freedom to do whatever I please helped. 1
sooshi Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 That is sooo true about having the freedom to do what you want, IDK. Thanks for the reminder 1
WYSWYG Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 OMG yeah, you guys just reminded me of the whining and bickering that accompanied those times..........and you felt cornered and shackled! oh, set me free why don't u, please... 2
redbaron005 Posted March 30, 2014 Posted March 30, 2014 The girl significantly more. Long-distance relationships leave much to be desired.
bluegreen Posted March 31, 2014 Posted March 31, 2014 Probably the relationship moreso than the ex. Things couldn't have been that great or he/she wouldn't be your ex unfortunately. Kinda makes you wonder about the nature of relationships. Everyone is easily replacable by someone once a baseline connection has been established. This thing here is kind of scary how truthful it Is ... 2
Jiivy Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 The girl significantly more. Long-distance relationships leave much to be desired. Having sat in an LDR for around 6 years...I'd have to agree with the above. When I sit down and ask myself - it wasn't the physical proximity, we weren't a "normal" couple like that. It was the things she loved, the way she behaved, it was the who she was - but she's not that who now. Yeah, I absolutely miss the friendship, being able to pick up the phone and talk to this person who just GOT me. Maybe it's a bit of both...I think it's part and parcel of what a relationship actually is. It's a scary question.
benkaye Posted April 28, 2014 Posted April 28, 2014 This is a great post question which I think confuses a lot of people fresh out of relationships. Regardless of whether it's the companionship or the ACTUAL person you miss, I believe that anybody in a negative state of mind about the breakup will always believe it's the person and here's why: If it's the companionship that you miss, but you're in a negative state of mind and are finding it hard to move on, your emotions will naturally cause you to believe it's the person. You start forgetting the bad parts of the relationship and focus only on their good qualities and you begin to mistake the companionship with the actual person. So, if you're in a negative way about a relationship, I believe you'll ALWAYS think it's the 'ex' you miss as opposed to the companionship as you don't look at it objectively. Well in any case, I believe I'm convincing myself I miss my ex when it's only the companionship since I'm not in the right state of mind to take an objective view yet!
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