hestheone66 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 This came from a different thread, but when people realise that they cannot be together due to 'timing' issues and one party just doesn't understand how love can be compromised in such a way, I want to help people reflect that sometimes timing, is a way of making sense of the insensible. We are in love, choices have to be made. Unlike movies and songs, many times, love is not enough.. or not enough for one of the partners. This does not mean that it wasn't love.. the feelings of devotion and chemistry and deep deep connection are genuine... and so are the circumstances that force us apart. People who prefer black and white answers as it helps them move on will not find satisfaction in a more nuanced view that relationships involving humans are unpredictable and full of grey areas. We each understand and give meaning to things by how we best process them. The explanations that we each derive are meaningful to each of us in its own way. If it doesn't make sense according to another's view, experience or maturity, it is irrelevant to your way of making sense of it. As long as there is no holding on to false hopes or stagnating with môving fwd with our lives then the explanations we use will help us heal. Regardless of the 'truth' of the situation, sometimes the explanations that we can give ourselves are what provide healing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elseaacych Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Just be sure that "timing" doesn't turn into an excuse. I used it as an excuse for a while in hopes of a reconciliation. If you can't put a time frame on "timing" that is satisfactory to helping you heal, find some other fundamental incompatibilities that you KNOW were there. Find as many reasons as possible for why it didn't work out, forgive, forget them, and start moving on. Just my two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
a708 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I was told it was the whole timing thing. I now see it for what it really is. Its kind of an excuse in my opinion. If the person is breaking up with you, they should be honest. But they're not because they want to shield themselves from any hate/anger/unwanted convos with the dumpee or anyone that the dumpee speaks to about it. With my story, She said it wasn't the right time for a relationship.. she was at uni. What she meant was: "I feel like i'm tied down to you when i should be out having fun and meeting new people like the rest of the people here at uni." So whilst i kind of agree with the OP.. i really think its used as an excuse. Maybe its because im young that i see it that way. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I think timing does exist x I know I wasn't ready to meet my newest ex I needed some time alone but he came into my life.. Unfortunately as I hadn't taken the time I needed I was carrying too much baggage x Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I was completely distracted and derailed by the fact that you put an accent mark over the "o" in moving forward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) when people realise that they cannot be together due to 'timing' issues and one party just doesn't understand how love can be compromised in such a way, I want to help people reflect that sometimes timing, is a way of making sense of the insensible. We are in love, choices have to be made. Unlike movies and songs, many times, love is not enough.. or not enough for one of the partners. This does not mean that it wasn't love.. the feelings of devotion and chemistry and deep deep connection are genuine... and so are the circumstances that force us apart. Feeling love is something different than showing love. The trouble is that the first is mainly egocentrical. When in a true relation - a two-person psychological system so to speak - it is hoped for that people also consider the other when making life-changing decisions, or better involve them in the decision-making-process even as the outcomes can be hurtful. Letting someone else crash onto a wall without warning has very little to do with love in my opinion. Of-course there are circumstances where a person makes a rash decision while not entirely being him or herself: for example when feelings are repressed due to stress. Edited March 20, 2014 by Itspointless 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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