Taking a poll how long were you NC and then ex came back?

[Just smile]

Last year it was a month for me and then the hovering began. But in between that time a few random calls. This time. I've heard absolutely nothing. How long have you all been apart and then one or the other comes back crying etc.? Wanting you back? And yes I am having false grandiose illusions right now.

[d0nnivain]

NC is not designed to get the other person back. It's designed to help you heal.

[RDawg]

You might get a better response in the 2nd chances forum. We're not so big on reconciliations here..

[Eddie007]

Over 4 years together. Lived together and engaged for 3 years.

 

She dumped me on August 17. I moved my stuff out and went NC the same day.

 

Almost 4 months and not a peep from either of us.

[vassilbg]

Hmmm, every single one came back at some point. Some it took a month, others 6 months to a year. Needless to say, it hasn't worked out the 2nd time around with any of them, but it was a nice ego boost knowing.

 

The most recent ones:

 

Girl A - Together for 2 months, broke up, a month later, she came back for another 3 weeks.

 

Girl B - Together for almost 3 months, went back to her ex, dumped her ex 7 months later for me. We lasted almost 6 months and I'm pretty sure she went back to the ex again. I'm about 50/50 on if she'll come back for a 3rd round.

[Eddie007]

Over 4 years together. Lived together and engaged for 3 years.

 

She dumped me on August 17. I moved my stuff out and went NC the same day.

 

Almost 4 months and not a peep from either of us.

 

I should clarify this is my most recent ex.

 

All my past exes have popped up again in one fashion or another. My ex wife (mother of my kids) I still talk to obviously.

 

My others returned as soon as a month or up to more than a year later. I've only ever gotten back with 1 though and it lasted a few more years.

[fixing]

Ok, i kicked my ex gf out after i found she cheated on me around 17th September/2012. Instead of me being strong and sticking to my guns i kept answering her pointless small talk calls for the next month (I was devastated and in denial)

I initiated NC on 17th October, and exactly on the 17th of November she called me on a private number (Never done that before|)

Funny thing was, that whole period i wanted her to call but when i heard her voice i felt anger, rage, humiliation. I spoke in a mono tone and it was one sided. I eventually hung up. She messaged me immediately saying 'Your battery must have died, i was just seeing how your are, take care, talk soon'

 

Not heard from her since. I did block her on facebook and changed my numbers.

 

If she really wanted to call or email, she could have found a way.

 

Turns out she is in bed with another man the whole time since.

 

So, please dont sit here waiting for a call, your only delaying your life.

 

Move on.

[Emilia]

Longest break was a year and a half.

[mtnbiker3000]

Oh dear. Why is this thread even here? Wrong wrong wrong!!!

[radiodarcy]

Eight months (if you subtract the one time I broke NC and tried to be friends again, which didn't work).

 

It wasn't to tell me he wanted me back; rather to tell me his new girlfriend (I didn't even know he had a girlfriend) was pregnant with his kid and how happy he was.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

They always come back. Although, it doesn't work out all the time. Former ex's, I was over them by the time they came back and wanted to change, in the sense that they wanted to marry me and have kids. It usually took a good 8 months to a year though. And that was with NC.

[MoooOinkBaaa]

If she really wanted to call or email, she could have found a way.

 

Are you saying she didn't try hard enough?

[fixing]

Are you saying she didn't try hard enough?

 

Well, tbh, she completely crushed me with her cheating. She knew that, and she knew it was over and that i would never forgive or forget.

 

But she turned out to be a cheating whore who was not remorseless, quote 'Im not sorry, the relationship wasnt going anywhere, no future with him' Yet, that entire month after the initial BU, she was ringing and crying everyday, but not saying sorry or trying to reconcile, and that made me MAAAAAAD!!

 

So i started NC for a month and then she rang on a private number (Longest period of not talking the last 16 months i knew her)

 

It turns out anyways, that she has a long cheating past, and she has jumped from one relationship to the next the last 14 years of her life, she was 29.

 

I wont lie, this whole year, i so badly wanted that ego boost from her messaging me, or calling me (Not that i would take her back) but to make me feel whole again bro. That cheating really ****ed me up bud. I have no closure from it, i was just left to pick up the pieces.

 

She could have gotten in touch somehow, like gotten my number of a mutual friend, or hell even driven over to my house, made a new account. But no, she is a coward who cheats and leaves a long trail of destruction and moves straight on and latches onto someone else.

[crazybestie101]

Eight months (if you subtract the one time I broke NC and tried to be friends again, which didn't work).

 

It wasn't to tell me he wanted me back; rather to tell me his new girlfriend (I didn't even know he had a girlfriend) was pregnant with his kid and how happy he was.

 

WTF , that was mean of him.

[cavalier99]

Well, tbh, she completely crushed me with her cheating. She knew that, and she knew it was over and that i would never forgive or forget.

 

But she turned out to be a cheating whore who was not remorseless, quote 'Im not sorry, the relationship wasnt going anywhere, no future with him' Yet, that entire month after the initial BU, she was ringing and crying everyday, but not saying sorry or trying to reconcile, and that made me MAAAAAAD!!

 

So i started NC for a month and then she rang on a private number (Longest period of not talking the last 16 months i knew her)

 

It turns out anyways, that she has a long cheating past, and she has jumped from one relationship to the next the last 14 years of her life, she was 29.

 

I wont lie, this whole year, i so badly wanted that ego boost from her messaging me, or calling me (Not that i would take her back) but to make me feel whole again bro. That cheating really ****ed me up bud. I have no closure from it, i was just left to pick up the pieces.

 

She could have gotten in touch somehow, like gotten my number of a mutual friend, or hell even driven over to my house, made a new account. But no, she is a coward who cheats and leaves a long trail of destruction and moves straight on and latches onto someone else.

 

Sounds somewhat like my EX. And we are friends now! I just could give crap. Not my problem and anymore.

 

She will probably cheat on the new guy (the guy she cheated on me with) when she decides she wants to move on. hahaha So typicial of her. Cav

[radiodarcy]

WTF , that was mean of him.

 

*sigh* mean but typical. It was his way of getting even with me for going NC and "abandoning" his offer of friendship. Mind you this is after he dumped me via an email chock full of exclamation point and telling me to move on in all caps...

[reddragon588]

Do you think acting like a crazy person is really going to make him come back for more?

 

Yes definitely. What's that stupid quote? If you can't love me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best? The rallying cry of crazy chicks everywhere?

[Never Again]

Oh my God, I HATE that quote. And don't people attribute it to Marilyn Monroe?

 

Yes, it's frequently attributed to her.

 

According to good reads, the actual quote is:

 

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

 

While I think it sort've applies in a healthy relationship, I feel that people use it to excuse acting like a psycho once things have ended :-p

[deponie12]

3 weeks-- and he calls me twice a day, every day-- I hear the start of his voice and delete ASAP- When the past calls, don't answer, it has nothing new to say.

[barky2]

Every single one came back.

 

1 week -12 years.

 

4 exs total.

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

This whole thread is incredibly counterproductive to new users because it just gives those false hopes especially in the early stages. Not all ex's come back and what does it matter? Most come back because they failed on their new quest and you are backup option.

[mtnbiker3000]

^^^ I tried to kill it early on, but it continued anyway

[Just smile]

Gee thanks while I realize what I've done isn't right doesn't mean that False hope like u foolishly have can't help another idiotic person such as myself possibly think more clearly , com'n lighten up this is a support group right ! I'm doing the very best I can .

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Gee thanks while I realize what I've done isn't right doesn't mean that False hope like u foolishly have can't help another idiotic person such as myself possibly think more clearly , com'n lighten up this is a support group right ! I'm doing the very best I can .

 

Never once did we attack you personally. A tad melodramatic. You personally are fine....this thread, however, just brings a sense of false hope that may or may not happen. I know (because I was) a new user and I WANTED to read stuff like this because I WANTED there to be a chance. So I saw stuff like this and was like "Yeah, Ill text/call them more because I CAN get them back" All that did was delay ANY sort of healing and kept me in a terrible funk for MUCH longer.

[Never Again]

Look at it this way:

 

Sometimes relationships end for a reason, and sometimes they end for no reason at all, but they still end.

 

It sucks. It hurts. It's worse when it's your fault but you didn't mean it.

 

But it doesn't matter.

 

Could something happen? Maybe. But that'd be after a long time of NC, a lot of healing, and you've moved on. Or, as barky has put it, when you just don't care anymore.

 

Threads like this keep people caring. Instead of texting/calling their ex to get them back, people start thinking that if they go NC and wait around, their ex will come back.

 

And that can happen. But what then? The dumpee has been pining and waiting this whole time. No improvement, no healing, no anything. You think the dumper will want that? Ugh, just sets you up for a second round of rejection and disappointment.

 

It's always better to move forward and assume your ex will never come back. And if they do? Well, you're not ready to even consider taking them back unless you'd seriously consider telling them "no" anyways, so what's the point in holding on?