loveiswar101 Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 (edited) Food for thought... Many of us think NC is the way and I do 80% -90% believe it is. My Ex and Me are a bit older maybe more mature. So say after 3 weeks of BU she text's me Xmas day to wish me a happy Xmas. We all must want this, a breadcrumb ? How do we react though? If it is a breadcrumb surely she is thinking of you ? Hope ? Edited December 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator .
JDPT Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Means nothing, and disregard. I wouldn't play around with hypotheticals.
Author loveiswar101 Posted December 9, 2013 Author Posted December 9, 2013 Harsh but fair enough. Surely she's thinking of you though ?
MoveAlong Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 The girl who I thought was the love of my life sent me a text to wish me well during thanksgiving. I ignored her...not because I'm immature or hate her...but because it's only going to make my life 100x worse. I didn't respond because I love her. I know responding won't help my case. If she wants to try again, she will open her mouth. NC: 6 weeks! 1
barky2 Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Well since I'm sure it'll be asked a million times in the next few weeks I'll be copying my message to you and have it stored so I don't have to keep typing same thing If you'd like, just like on your birthday, you can either choose to respond, " thank you" or on Christmas you can respond " thank you, same to you and yours" Or You can choose to respond. Either way it doesn't matter in the long run. Just because they send you a 2 second text wishing you a good holiday doesn't mean they want you back. When I was broke up with my (ex), I always responded. It was courteous. But I also knew just because I got a text saying either happy birthday, or thanksgiving or Xmas, in no way shape or form did I take it as she wanted to reconcile, it was a simple thing friends do. So do as you please, but do not take it as they want you back if you do get some sort of text. But , also don't wait for it, cause it may not come. Barky
MoveAlong Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I just don't understand why the person who broke up with you would even want to wish you a Happy Birthday...Merry Christmas...Happy Thanksgiving. Am I supposed to be happy or thankful that I was dumped? Can't I just be left alone? Those messages just set me back so I ignore them. 2
BruisedBNBroken Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I got a "hope you had a happy thanksgiving" on the Monday after. Didn't respond. Got a "how's work" two days later. Didn't respond. It definitely set me back a little, like a butterflies in stomach, heart dropped to see his name. But that is nothing compared to me being catapulted back to square one if I had even responded, thank you or fine. That would have either started a dialogue that I can't handle or he would have ignored my message and that would have killed me. So NC I remain - day 26. Don't worry about what he/she will think or do. Worry about what you're doing. NC is for you, today, Xmas day and everyday after. 1
MoooOinkBaaa Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 (edited) It was courteous. But I also knew just because I got a text saying either happy birthday, or thanksgiving or Xmas, in no way shape or form did I take it as she wanted to reconcile, it was a simple thing friends do. I just want to say I don't think it's courteous and they are not our friends. If they are not our lovers, family or friends they are either an enemy or a stranger. They are not a stranger, they know us well. So what are they, our enemy? No they are our ex lovers and sending a Christmas wish is nothing more than a social glitch. It's something that was once obligated to friends, family and lovers. We don't fit into their life anymore, it's just emotional residual fragments. It's not courteous it's conventional. Edited December 9, 2013 by MoooOinkBaaa 2
StyleOnEm Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I just want to say I don't think it's courteous and they are not our friends. If they are not our lovers, family or friends they are either an enemy or a stranger. They are not a stranger, they know us well. So what are they, our enemy? No they are our ex lovers and sending a Christmas wish is nothing more than a social glitch. It's something that was once obligated to friends, family and lovers. We don't fit into their life anymore, it's just emotional residual fragments. It's not courteous it's conventional. Social glitch -- I like that.
Sparta Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I just want to say I don't think it's courteous and they are not our friends. If they are not our lovers, family or friends they are either an enemy or a stranger. They are not a stranger, they know us well. So what are they, our enemy? No they are our ex lovers and sending a Christmas wish is nothing more than a social glitch. It's something that was once obligated to friends, family and lovers. We don't fit into their life anymore, it's just emotional residual fragments. It's not courteous it's conventional. Hey buddy I love your post and reply to that guy I have never since I've been on here such a profound very thought out post... I am also impressed with the following statement. (social glitch) (it's just emotional residual fragments.) Buddy I love those i've got to be honest I'm going to steal them from you. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Harsh but fair enough. Surely she's thinking of you though ? Most holiday messages are mass texts. Hit select all and send. So not necessarily. 1
barky2 Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I just want to say I don't think it's courteous and they are not our friends. If they are not our lovers, family or friends they are either an enemy or a stranger. They are not a stranger, they know us well. So what are they, our enemy? No they are our ex lovers and sending a Christmas wish is nothing more than a social glitch. It's something that was once obligated to friends, family and lovers. We don't fit into their life anymore, it's just emotional residual fragments. It's not courteous it's conventional. Actually no, it's common courtesy anyway you look at it. At one point they cared for you and wishing you well. What I said you musta taken the wrong way. When I said stranger, I ment go but a pack of gum near Xmas time, someone will say merry Xmas. And like I said, take that random Xmas wish from a stranger, the same way you'd take it from a recent ex. You're still bitter. There is no enemies, sure you may be hurt or mad, over time it'll subdue, and you'll think more logically. I share my opinion based on what I've been thru with my breakup,pain,holidays and eventual reconciliation. You don't have to agree. But a year from now and when you're not jaded you'll think the same way I promise. Merry Xmas Barky 1
mysteriouschic Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Could you maybe reply back with "Merry Christmas everyone" or something along the lines of that. If they do text you so it seems like it's a chain message? Would exes get a ego boost if you do text them back? like if you've been ignoring all of there messages until then.
organizedchaos Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Could you maybe reply back with "Merry Christmas everyone" or something along the lines of that. If they do text you so it seems like it's a chain message? Would exes get a ego boost if you do text them back? like if you've been ignoring all of there messages until then. No, just keep it simple and to the point. "Thank you. Merry Christmas" Leave it at that. No emotion. No dwelling. No further responses necessary if they text back. Barky's right. Walk down the street during Christmas time and even a stranger might say "Merry Christmas". You gonna ignore that and look like a Scrooge? No, you'd simply return the greeting, no emotion.
barky2 Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Could you maybe reply back with "Merry Christmas everyone" or something along the lines of that. If they do text you so it seems like it's a chain message? Would exes get a ego boost if you do text them back? like if you've been ignoring all of there messages until then. If you say everyone, it's game playing. I don't think it's a ego boost, it's being casual, courteous like I said earlier in the thread. You don't have to reply by any means, just a " thanks you too" does fine. Me, personally, if I was dumper and wished a merry Xmas, and got no response it'd seem like they were bitter or childish. Keep it buisness like if you decide to respond. Barky 1
MoooOinkBaaa Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Actually no, it's common courtesy anyway you look at it. At one point they cared for you and wishing you well. What I said you musta taken the wrong way. When I said stranger, I ment go but a pack of gum near Xmas time, someone will say merry Xmas. And like I said, take that random Xmas wish from a stranger, the same way you'd take it from a recent ex. You're still bitter. There is no enemies, sure you may be hurt or mad, over time it'll subdue, and you'll think more logically. I share my opinion based on what I've been thru with my breakup,pain,holidays and eventual reconciliation. You don't have to agree. But a year from now and when you're not jaded you'll think the same way I promise. Merry Xmas Barky I understand what you're saying but I still don't think treating someone you have history with as a stranger is courteous. Strangers don't do it because they care, they do it because it's polite and conventional. If you're going to ignore me for months and months don't send me a happy Christmas wish. A strangers greeting is nice because they have no motive, it comes from the heart with no cause and affect. A greeting from an ex is likely to be motivated by guilt, karma incentive, power and social standards. It only serves to riddle us with confusion and forgotten memories. I think they do it because it's sort of expected in society, it's only courteous because they are holding up their manners. I bet they sit by their phone wondering if they should it, worrying it would be rude not to. This is the exact same reason some dumpees reply back. Others like myself will ignore any breadcrumb texts because we've severed that connection and are trying to truly move on. If they want me back in their lives, let me know because right now, I'm just keeping the status quo as is.
barky2 Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 I understand what you're saying but I still don't think treating someone you have history with as a stranger is courteous. Strangers don't do it because they care, they do it because it's polite and conventional. If you're going to ignore me for months and months don't send me a happy Christmas wish. A strangers greeting is nice because they have no motive, it comes from the heart with no cause and affect. A greeting from an ex is likely to be motivated by guilt, karma incentive, power and social standards. It only serves to riddle us with confusion and forgotten memories. I think they do it because it's sort of expected in society, it's only courteous because they are holding up their manners. I bet they sit by their phone wondering if they should it, worrying it would be rude not to. This is the exact same reason some dumpees reply back. Others like myself will ignore any breadcrumb texts because we've severed that connection and are trying to truly move on. If they want me back in their lives, let me know because right now, I'm just keeping the status quo as is. That's the thing, you are not treating anyone like a stranger. You're treating them as someone who once ment something in your life. A courteous response was one option I said The other is to respond. You choose what you'd like to do. But it's been 6 months since your breakup? You need to let go of any held up anger you have towards her. THAT is also a huge part of moving on. I once again, just replied back with a thanks you too, and left it. Honestly I don't care what anyone does, as long as they don't take it as their ex wants them back because of a tiny outreach to wish them well. But I've also see on here, people making threads wondering if they would've responded would that have gotten their ex back. It truly doesn't matter either way. You choose to write a simple reply, or you choose to ignore. Just hold no hope, and don't question in the next upcoming weeks, because unfortunately some people won't hear a peep. Barky
Haydn Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Tricky this one. I kind of agree with both of you. But i have i no intention of wishing my ex a great xmas. As Edmund Blackadder once said. `May the yultide log slip from your fire and burn your house down` That's the thing, you are not treating anyone like a stranger. You're treating them as someone who once ment something in your life. A courteous response was one option I said The other is to respond. You choose what you'd like to do. But it's been 6 months since your breakup? You need to let go of any held up anger you have towards her. THAT is also a huge part of moving on. I once again, just replied back with a thanks you too, and left it. Honestly I don't care what anyone does, as long as they don't take it as their ex wants them back because of a tiny outreach to wish them well. But I've also see on here, people making threads wondering if they would've responded would that have gotten their ex back. It truly doesn't matter either way. You choose to write a simple reply, or you choose to ignore. Just hold no hope, and don't question in the next upcoming weeks, because unfortunately some people won't hear a peep. Barky
Saurren Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 The Holidays are everyone's dream of a happy ending and your ex's will use it against you.
barky2 Posted December 9, 2013 Posted December 9, 2013 Do you guys really think your exs sit there and are like " omg it'll kill then and their head will spin if I wish them merry Xmas " If that's the type of person your ex is, you dodged a bullet, so be thankful. I don't want anyone set back because of the holidays,reach out or response included. Your time should be eaten up by people around you who care for you. I understand the hurt and anger some if you have and if you choose not to respond I give you a high five. If you choose to respond and not let it make your head spin with false hope I also high give you. But cross that bridge when you get there,and see how you feel if it ever does come. But don't prepare yourself for something that might happen. What will be, will be. Barky
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