johndo Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Hi, I do not know where to start as i am typing this to share with someone my story and trying to keep the NC ongoing let me tell you about myself first, i am 32 years old and man. extremely well accomplished financially. i have all the cars, bikes, boat and every single toy that a man cave can have. i worked all my life since i was 17 years old to build what i have from 0. physically i take care of myself and extremely confident as i never had problems getting the women i want and i have been very picky after the age of 28. it's important to know that in all my life i have not done drugs and only had 2 rules. Rule 1: No Drugs, Rule 2: no gambling. as this will be a big part of my story. It all started when i met what i can truly say the most beautiful women that i have ever set my eyes on. i was driving one day and all i see next to me what this women with her wavy blond hear driving her convertible car and did not stop smiling. Got her number and took her out on a date. let's say that the only normal thing in this entire relationship was that first date. After that day we had such a good time and connection we decided to see each other the next day. We went out and she was all over me, i was all over her and she came up with the idea that she wanted me to take mdma with her. it was a normal club and she really pushed for it i thought in my head what the hell why not. let's say after that time we took mdma my entire world spiralled and i was just not able to live without that person anymore. we found each other taking it every weekend and just could never get enough from one another keep in mind that we are 2 very sexual people. i had to leave for work as i travel a lot for what i do and made this girl quit her job and we went travelling and spent months at a time in greece, spain, italy, mexico, paris and much more. everything was going well in the relationship but all my friends and family thought i lost control. all i can see was her. all i can breath was her. i could not be away from her for 5 min. each min without her next to me felt like a eternity and her feeling where the same. 1 year into the relationship, lots of mdma's i came back to my home country and needed to settle down and start concentrating more on work. and this is where all the problems happened. the relationship went all downhill from there. She did not stop complaining about the routine. when we go out i did not want to do drugs and she use to only be able to have fun when she takes it. it escalated to her taking cocaine because alcohol literarily makes her become the devil. I tried to explain to her over and over again but she seemed like she would find anything to fight about. after lots of fights and her not understanding that this lifestyle is not something that will lead anywhere i decided to break it off. and that was last week. the break up destroyed me. i decided that if i continue on this path i will loose everything i worked for. i tried so much to explain that to her but she always use to tell me that she hated me because i put her last. for her going to work and leaving her is putting her last. At this moment i feel extremely lost. for the first few days there was NC and i know she went partying 3 days straight with her friends in clubs, after hours and only to come back and sleep at 8 am. on sunday she calls me and wants sex, she wants me back and does not want to let me go. i keep telling her not to contact me anymore but she does. Even typing this letter makes me ask myself questions in what the hell did i see in her from the first place? was it her looks that blinded me? was it the Mdma that completely threw me off? Even if i know all that why the hell does it hurt so much to leave her. i know she is not a good person... i know she is very bad for me and might destroy everything i built. but something in me just can't leave that person. anyways sorry if i did not make sense in all my story but just needed to type to let it out.
Lizrd3000 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 The dangerous drug here wasn't the MDMA, it was her! In all seriousness though, you'll be fine if you keep your NC going, it's for the best, luckily you're smart enough to see this. we're here for you, keep posting!
Author johndo Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 She text me as we speak asking if I want to come over her place so we can party... When I asked if she was high or drunk she did not respond. I am trying to keep the NC but she keeps texting and I find it childish not to repond for some reason. I just respond with the bare minimum.
Lizrd3000 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 She text me as we speak asking if I want to come over her place so we can party... When I asked if she was high or drunk she did not respond. I am trying to keep the NC but she keeps texting and I find it childish not to repond for some reason. I just respond with the bare minimum. I felt that it was rude not to respond the first time, but after noticing that it hurts ME to reply for her sake, I couldn't give a **** anymore and just went NC. it was hard at first, but so worth it. I advice you do the same thing here.
Author johndo Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 I feel the same way.... It hurts me more after I respond. The biggest problem I think I have is the thoughts of her with other man and the post jealousy breakup.
Lizrd3000 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I feel the same way.... It hurts me more after I respond. The biggest problem I think I have is the thoughts of her with other man and the post jealousy breakup. She probably got ****ed the 3 days she went partying after your break-up, every day another man. I'm sorry to say this, but it is an possibility, and asking yourself whether she did or not will haunt your mind untill you're exhausted, it's not good for you. Remind yourself this every time, it sounds counter-productive, but in the end you'll get used to the idea and not give a single ****. This worked for me atleast. I had panic attacks and roller-coaster stomach feelings whenever I thought about her kissing another dude, but then I kept imagining the worst every time I thought about her, and I started to resent her instead of the jealousy and panic attacks, which is a step forward, really. You're worth so much more, man.. You got everything going for you, you don't need a party-girl(bitch in this case). You need a grown woman who is emotionally intelligent enough to understand that work is more important than popping MDMA and that coke ****. This girl is drama, you don't need this. I know you know this, but I just want to make it clear that you're not the only one thinking this, this girl is pure chaos. Go NC, don't expect her to change, rather work on changing yourself in the aspects you think needs changing (like the woman you fall for ) Don't think it's rude or childish if you ignore her, SHE is childish, I can tell by everything you've told us, she's not mature enough for you.
headinthecloud Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 It sounds like you had a codependent relationship and she is only interested in living a carefree life. If she parties a lot, does she also work just as hard or is she hardly working? If it's the latter than perhaps opposites attract and you were drawn to her carefree attitude about life. It could be you're just incompatible that way. Someone into the party life is trying to deny life's responsibilities and she will find the next person who will support her reality. In either case, do what's best for you. NC is best for both of you. In a healthy relationship you grow and learn from each other.
Inviv_girl Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 This girl is so full of drama and her life is about drugs and fantasy. You are smart enough to break things because she definitely a bad influence for your life. She is not healthy! You dont want to be with this kind of person for the rest of your life, do you? stay NC and just move on with your life finding good woman who is healthy. Love happens naturally, no one can give you the answer what do you see in her that make you head over hills. It is like that and just happens but her behaviour is seriously noy mature and not healthy! Thank god its over
Author johndo Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 I really believe this was the first time i actually fall in love. i been with lots of women never felt this way. i guess it was just a timing issue when i met her where everything was going good and i just got bored of the day to day routine. Yesterday night was a hard night she kept sending me pics and telling me she wants to have sex i stayed NC then the last message was If you are not going to come back to me i will have to move on and go have sex with someone else... this last message was really hard on me. i replied " do as you like". when i think with my head the more i say to myself.. if you run back is not because you love her it's just because you don't want her to be with someone else. Anyone has a idea if people like that learn there lesson and understand what they lost ? and will not want to do it again so they don't loose the person they love? or it's just something temporary they do and then they fall back to the same bull**** story? wishful thinking from my part even if i kind of know the answer to that
Author johndo Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 It sounds like you had a codependent relationship and she is only interested in living a carefree life. If she parties a lot, does she also work just as hard or is she hardly working? If it's the latter than perhaps opposites attract and you were drawn to her carefree attitude about life. It could be you're just incompatible that way. Someone into the party life is trying to deny life's responsibilities and she will find the next person who will support her reality. In either case, do what's best for you. NC is best for both of you. In a healthy relationship you grow and learn from each other. No She does not work. It was impossible for her to work with my lifestyle. I Travel and stay away for months at a time and she was always with me wherever we went. One of her issues and she says the MAIN issue is that she is doing anything for herself and i go work make money and she is still in the same place. i tried to give her business advice from my experience and point her in the right direction. told her go do it and you will have all my support experience and contacts. But she wanted it on a golden platter and that was not going to work at all obviously and she blames me for that
Recommended Posts