moki Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Sorry I just needed to vent. (I'll try to make it short) I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We never really argued, never cheated and we were really close. He was my first love and my first everything. He just started college and I am taking one year break from school and started working part-time. We see eachother at least once a week. Few days before the break up I noticed that he was being distant. He seemed busy and gave me short replies. I thought he was gaming with his friends so I didn't want to bother him. I knew he was stressed because of school and his mom was pressuring him. We were talking about the futur. Then he said he wanted to live in another country after his studies. I had a weird feeling so I asked him; How long do you think we're going to be together? Then boom. He sent me a long ass break up text on fb saying that he wants to break up with me but it's not my fault. He said he can't stand for himself and me. He feels like he's lying to himself and is unstable but now he wanted something new and he's doing this selfishly. He wanted to break it off before it goes deeper and he felt like the most horrible person for hurting me. He said he truly loved me from his heart but now he can't? He told me to forget about him and he's not going to date for a long time because he doubts himself and he have issues. He also said that he had the best time in his life with me and the memories we made together was the best and no word can describe it. And finally he said he is really sorry that it has to end this way. (I tried to make it short cause he wrote way much more than that) I seriously don't understand half of the thing he said. I was so shocked my first reaction was to call him. We were on the phone for an hour and we were both crying. I (stoopid me) was begging, crying, asking to be friends but he was still rejecting me. So I gave up. --- I went NC the same day. I unfriended him on fb and other social websites, deleted his number and all his pictures. That was 2 weeks ago and I'm still NC. Right now I'm trying to heal my broken heart. I went out with friends, do activities, work, etc. I will also start driving lesson and save up for a new car. I still think about him and get sad from time to time tho. I know he won't come back since he's really stubborn and I'm not waiting for him to come back neither. I want to be happy and I hope he is or will be too. I really love him but if it's what he decide, I can't hold him back. . . Done venting.
h0000 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I feel for you girl..before my ex dumped me, I sorta feel he was distant too and I have to ask for so many times before he finally agreed to come over and see me. And one week he decided to join a band and they have gigs on every weekends. since we usually only spent weekends together, I felt werid too and I asked him "so are you just never gonna see me anymore?" then he said..."sure". and then he broke up with me. It seemed he lost his emotional connection with me(we never really argued either).
Author moki Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 I feel for you girl..before my ex dumped me, I sorta feel he was distant too and I have to ask for so many times before he finally agreed to come over and see me. And one week he decided to join a band and they have gigs on every weekends. since we usually only spent weekends together, I felt werid too and I asked him "so are you just never gonna see me anymore?" then he said..."sure". and then he broke up with me. It seemed he lost his emotional connection with me(we never really argued either). He probably was thinking of breaking up wayyyy before. Like my ex he said his feeling changed and he thought of breaking up half a year before he actually did.
h0000 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 (edited) ultimately its for the same reason: feelings changed. its a pain in the ass cuz you cant totally blame them cuz they didn't do anything nasty? they didnt cheat didnt fight didnt shift the blame to us... You just feel..sh*t happens and unfortunately its happening to me. However for me though he came back but did something really bad that I blame him now Edited October 5, 2013 by h0000
Author moki Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 ultimately its for the same reason: feelings changed. its a pain in the ass cuz you cant totally blame them cuz they didn't do anything nasty? they didnt cheat didnt fight didnt shift the blame to us... You just feel..sh*t happens and unfortunately its happening to me. However for me though he came back but did something really bad that I blame him now Wow he came back? Do you mind if I ask you what he did?
h0000 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 what he did is what i assumed "using me as a backup". i post the detail in another thread actually.. i will just copy and paste here lol last week he asked me out but then canceled it on me saying "my other friends are going now and I asked them first ".i suspected there is a girl and he answered" ha ha that's one way to look at it, among with 8 other people! LOL!". I'm offended and said I'm not your backup and not a second freaking choice! he kept explaining no he wasn't using me .he asked too many people and plans got messed up. I felt that was BS so I ignored him. later he apologized "sorry to make you feel like that"."that was stupid and selfish" "again sorry. I actually wished I was with you the night wasn't enjoyable at all" blah blah. I still ignored him. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Holy crap, it's like you dated my 'ex.' He said a lot of the stuff your ex said, OP. And it was also almost out of the blue with me as well , well, he was distant a bit longer than that, like 3 weeks, when i asked him what was wrong, he denied anything was wrong, started attacking me for being b*tchy, accused me of being distant, etc. then broke up with me a week later. These people are just unstable / were stringing you along / commitmentphobic and might have a case of GIGS. Let him go, you're better off without him. What a classless douchebag! Breaking up over FB, wow, I bet that took a lot of balls for him to do.
Fashiongal Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 He is still just immature and very young. Women are mentally always 5 years older than a male. After being together for so long, he should have been a man and faced you not send a message over fb. Try not to let this destroy you and your opinions on the world. You are so young and have many incredible opportunities ahead of you... Your car, new boys, college, success. You will be good whether with or without him.
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