Romaks Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Hi guys, this is my first post. I'm 19 and I just started my second year of college. I've been dating a girl from my high school since late in the summer after I graduated (she's 2 grades below.) My college is in the same town, so it's not a long distance relationship since I haven't gone anywhere. Things quickly escalated between us, and we fell deeply in love. We were inseparable and we both agreed that the year has been the best that we've ever had. We both liked to talk about how sure our future is together and how perfect our kids are going to be and so on. Recently, a few weeks after our 1 year anniversary (which was the best day/weekend we spent together by far) she all of a sudden starts talking to me differently. I could tell that something was clearly wrong, but she would not let on as to what. After a day or two, it starts driving me crazy, and I have a break down. I finally convinced her to tell me what the problem is. She's been talking to this guy (a classmate of hers) that got dumped by his gf (after three years), and he was in a bad emotional state. He even says that he would have kissed MY gf if she weren't with me, and a part of her wanted him to do that. She told me that it wasn't about this kid at all, but the event triggered something with her. This apparently scared her a lot and she started rethinking things. But all of a sudden, she's having serious doubts about us and our future. She says that she doesn't think she can make a college decision without it being her decision alone because she'll find herself making the decision that keeps her close to me, so she'd be limiting herself. She's saying these things like she's really confused, and she doesn't really know what to do. She doesn't understand why she's feeling this way, and she can't stand for me not to be in her life anymore, but she really feels like it's something she really has to do, so as difficult as it was, she feels like she has to end it, and doesn't seem to think there's a romantic future between us anymore. She was crying hard the whole time she was saying all of this. She says the year we spent was the best in her life. I'm so shocked, and I'm at a loss of what to do. She says she thinks she'll probably never find someone like me and all but it's completely over. Needless to say, I'm heartbroken. Any advice? I definitely want to get back together with her, and I made sure I didn't beg or anything like that, although I did cry in front of her. I've been with a bunch of girls, but I'm so sure in my heart that she's the one, so that's why this makes it all the more worse. I always treat her right, and my intentions have always been noble. Her family all love and respect me, so there are no issues there. I'm so torn apart, and the future really scares me, and I really cannot imagine life without her.
Author Romaks Posted September 17, 2013 Author Posted September 17, 2013 That's the thing man...it's going to be hard for me to accept especially since I know she still loves me a lot and misses the hell out of me. I know she's just really afraid of trying a long term relationship, but I know it'll work especially since I was going to transfer to the school she wants to go to anyway.
Man-guy Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 Really sorry to hear this man... I'm gonna give you the one piece of advice that helped me out... NC... Her reasons for leaving at the end of the day don't matter at all, she's wanting to leave so all you can do is move on. Cut off all contact ASAP. You need to create some space so you can think about her and your relationship more rationally and to recover from the way she's been treating you... Don't beg her for anything... at this point, you NEED to prepare yourself mentally for a life without her and to start creating it for YOU... Once you recover from this, THAT is the point when you should start to reconsider a friendship or even a new relationship... For now, give her the space she's craving, and until she's willing to have a serious discussion with you about a future together, avoid her completely... It's not an easy road, but it's all you've got in front of you... Good luck, I hope for the best for you...
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