Dmitry Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 (edited) Okay i'm in a hard spot right now. I've been in a relationship with this girl for 3 years. And past couple of weeks we had alot of arguments between us. I always break up with her for stupid reasons and she would always come back begging for forgiveness. So week ago, she broke up with me because she couldn't take it anymore she said she was tired of getting hurt and jealous and it was her final decision. I apologized after 3 days(went to her house bought her fav flowers)and we went back together and had great time, after a week i kind of started loosing feelings for her for no reason so i told her and she came over and she told me what she loves me very much and we made out, lovey dovey and such we were talking about our future and kids, she told me what last time she only broke up with me just because she wanted to see if i care and she didn't want to look easy to get back with. So next day she comes back from college and i saw a message with smiles on her phone so i was trying to check it out, she lashed at me saying why do i need to check it, what i dont trust her and she's not a girl who would talk to any guys behind my back ( i checked the phone tho there was no guys). I got mad and told her what i'm breaking up with her. She just left. After few hours i decided to apologize and take her back. But she said she's done and we need to go separate ways because she's tired of us getting hurt. I asked her if she thinks i still have a chance, she told me she doesn't know and we're taking a break. Then i asked her to tell me straight up and she told me what i do not have any chance and we need to go separate ways, obviously she was mad. i stopped texting her (started sounding uninterested and slow replies). Later on she texted me what She's confused and doesn't know what to do maybe in a future she'll accept me back if she thinks it was a mistake and she wants to be best friends for now. She says she still loves me and cares.She's done some crazy things for me. She's under alot of stress atm with starting college. What should i do? i love her so much. Edited August 30, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
hurts2death Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 no contact. i feel the same pain, go NO CONTACT unless she msgs you a reconcilation msg. it is hard times i know, BE A MAN, the more you will contact her the more you will loose her
Jake0516 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I'm in the same situation as you are. Everyone is telling me to go NC for a couple of days. If she truly loves you it will drive her crazy not talking to you. But don't go NC for long because there is always a chance that she may find someone else in college just so she can get over you. Mine met a guy up at college and they have been hitting it off pretty hard her friends say and she has a crush on him. Just go NC For a while and see where it gets you
hurts2death Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Jake what is the point if she gets with another guy? NC is for us 99% 1% is to reasure again us that if she doesnt come up to be with us then is 100% over, dont fall so low brothers, i know we hurt i know we get all this awfull nightmare pain but we must stand 1
Author Dmitry Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 I don't think she likes anyone or thinking about dating anyone soon, thats what she told me. Her friends tell me the same thing. I'm just trying to figure out if she said what she might come back to make me feel better and be nice or she really meant that and thinking about it.
hurts2death Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 either way stay NO CONTACT, if she does she does, in the meantime treat the situation like she nevere existed, i know its hard, but in the end, we will love ourselfs or we will just die,....... i am sorry for these awfull break ups that happen
Soat Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 If you're serially breaking up, end it already. Don't let insecurity keep you together.
FennecFox Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 If you love her than you've just got to accept her choice in the matter, no matter what that is. If that means you have to admit that your relationship was unhealthy and it's better for you to move on and try your luck with other people then I think you both deserve that opportunity after reading about the inflammatory situations you create with one another. It's great that you're saying that you need to change, that is a massive positive step. Try working on your impulse control. I've been where you have been, so insanely angry that I just want to break up with someone but try to remember that those angry decisions are rarely the right ones. Once the anger subsides you inevitably see other angles that you didn't before. I'm new here but the no contact thing is a bit of advice that I see given a lot. Perhaps that is the best route to take. If she does come back (which I can't attest to the likelihood of) or if you start a new relationship then you need to try to be rational in your approach to problems. It's really hard when love is involved because it does make you go kind of crazy. Your thought patterns and processes are not the same because your brain undergoes a significant chemical change. The break up/reconciliation cycle can be addictive. You get a huge rush of euphoria and a sense of victory in winning somebody back which explains why you seem to be okay for a few weeks and then go through the same thing all over again. Maybe you like that cycle because of the frequency of your breakups, maybe she does because she keeps coming back but it's not a good basis for a relationship. Stability is better.
Soat Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 And fennec fox is right on target. You likely also need professional help. If you care about her as you claim, care enough to let her go.
Chi townD Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Later on she texted me what She's confused and doesn't know what to do maybe in a future she'll accept me back if she thinks it was a mistake and she wants to be best friends for now. She says she still loves me and cares.She's done some crazy things for me. She's under alot of stress atm with starting college. What should i do? i love her so much. Love how things are under her conditions. Dude, you need to move on. You are not friends with her. I'm pretty sure you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with her and the end result is that you're nothing more than a really good friend to her. 1
lonegirl Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Why do you keep breaking up with her for no reason? Nobody handles this kind of thing for a long time, it makes her seeing you as someone unstable and her mind gets automatically prepared to lose you for good at any time. Keep no contact. Is everything you can do... and if she comes back, stop breaking up with her, except if you really mean it.
llleonidus Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 You sound exactly like me, when i was about 23. I always used to end it with my ex, due to my own insecurities and she would always come back to me and i knew, this went on for almost 4 years. Do your self a favour if you want to keep this girl, treat her right or you'll lose her for good trust me, mine walked eventually and nothing i said or done would make her come back. Your girl sounds as though she is fed up with you messing her around, from what you've said you can probably get her back if you really wanted to but what would be the point because you'll probably end it with her again sometime soon, its a vicious cycle. lay your cards on the table tell her you want her back then Go nc give her space, don't obsess over her social media. nc is the most powerful tool you have right now.
Author Dmitry Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 Today she texted me what she wants to give me one more chance, and then she said never mind she's being dumb. Later on she asked me how was my day. After she was talking about breaking up again and me and her being nice to each other. Later she asked me if i agree or not. And then she got mad for me ignoring her. i never said one thing to her.
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