NiceFails Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 (edited) My girlfriend of a year and 3 months, showed weird mixed signals after the first 6 months, she started to behave colder and very less energetic. Long story short, she was depressed. I was so struck that I seriously started to be obsessed about her. You know, how one wants what he can't have..I've gave it time anyway and we worked everything. while she just couldn't trust enough about how I will stay faithful to her, and she always puts in mind that I'll one day wake up and leave her...And honestly, I couldn't trust her that much due to this cold period of hers, stating that I've told her on various occasions that I'm frustrated and will even leave her due to how cold she were and that I saw no point of being "hanged" like this, but she always said she loves me and she just can't handle herself, she treated me like crap and gave me a "I can't control my depression".The rest 6 months were really great we knew each other more and more. After said 6 months, she started to act really weird again but this time a bit rude. She don't return calls, neither stays when I ask her to be there or if I need help. I know I can be a bit selfish at times, but honestly this never happens to me except when she starts acting funny like that. I've had my times up and down these last 3 months, and seriously I've flamed her every time she were cold like that, she started to tell me I've changed into a very mean person and she never wished that the smart guy she's been with turn out to be like that, all I did was just trying to bring us to better communication but she always acts the "Hey, I don't really fell anything right now, but I do love you". I've told her (for a trial to make everything work out) everything I felt honestly and calmed her down not to be defensive or think that I'm blaming here for everything, and I know how depression works but I just can't handle being so much in love and give so much without getting anything back and that just devastates me, but all I got from her was "Hey, I really don't know, I will go do blablabla now, you shouldn't do an over-analysis to everything like that ". The deal-breaker was when she suggested that she wants to get drunk just yesterday and that she wanted to do it with a company (The same guys and girls who depresses her and she used to stick to me so she can get better eventually), to be honest I don't like her company as just they are those mature drunk girls and guys. When I started speaking in an aggressive tune she started to give me a sh%t test, and backed down a bit and said ok I'll do it with just 3 guys and girls she knows. I mean how immature is that? I am not the freedom-taker guy, but a girl as messed up as she is, I wonder how she will be like when she gets drunk specially in these moments. Anyway she made it easier by telling me that I've no right to force her to take a certain decision and that I shouldn't interfere in her personal life (lol), and that instead of being so angry I should've stated a "Nice advice" and then stated that she simply refuses anything I say against this said idea. As stupid as this, she didn't even bother to look how I would reply (We were texting), and just said hey I'll go now I got to eat, and 30 minutes later she said "Hey, I will go sleep now, night". That was when I just told her "Hey, I'm leaving" and blocked her from fb/calls/textmsgs and nearly she can't contact me easily right now. Even if she did I doubt I'll reply, and if I did it won't be really good. I am really lost as of now, did I do the right thing :S Edited July 23, 2013 by NiceFails Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceFails Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Ugh, Looking back to this, my really fault was telling her that I would break up with her and leave for some days and just turn back...I did so as a reaction of how frustrated I am, I can't believe if it's done. She has not blocked me or anything so far. I don't know what I should do either, but I feel that she didn't respect me on that subject at all. Telling me something that she knows gets me mad (Being drunk) in the most stupid way ever and then "hey I'll go now, bai" without even giving a damn about what I really feel, and who initiated the last convo was even me, she came back and didn't really text me. So if I didn't flame her it would just have gone like "I'm going to be drunk at bla bla house" "hey bye for now". I really don't know how to react anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Doesn't seem like there was much trust, compatability, or matuity in this situation at all. Neither of you seem very respectful of one another. Just stop contacting her and work on moving on. This is going to be a very up and down, tragic, relationship if you try to work things out. This wasn't a "weird breakup" at all, it was a necessary one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceFails Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 I just can't imagine my life without her though. I know as not respectable as she were and I had treated her, she used to make me happy. But that's before things change...I'm miserable, hanged out with a friend of mine (best friend) today and I didn't think about her a lot, but once I'm all alone it starts to rise again. Though I am depressed as well from how my life is going along with this breaking up. I feel guilty that I failed her and was one of her leavers as she used to name them. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 You didn't fail her, you made a choice to end things. It may not have been the best way to go about it, but it was the right decision. Just focus on yourself for now and with time things will get easier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceFails Posted July 25, 2013 Author Share Posted July 25, 2013 Getting the urge to contact her. But I know how it will end if I contacted her...I am just so angry at how last time the conversation went. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 That was when I just told her "Hey, I'm leaving" and blocked her from fb/calls/textmsgs and nearly she can't contact me easily right now. Even if she did I doubt I'll reply, and if I did it won't be really good. I am really lost as of now, did I do the right thing :S This was a dick move and you have probably made her condition worse, I hope you are proud of yourself. She clearly has major abandonment issues, while that drinking nonsense was idiotic on her part, if this got too much you should have broken up with her in a civil manner. Now you have made everything much worse for her. Congratulations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceFails Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 Easy on me. I already poured my heart to her just a day before. And all I got was "you do what you want I don't know, I can't feel you". I I rarely suspected anything can be said at that point. Plus, she perfectly got me mad and angry. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Easy on me. I already poured my heart to her just a day before. And all I got was "you do what you want I don't know, I can't feel you". I I rarely suspected anything can be said at that point. Plus, she perfectly got me mad and angry. Breaking up with her was the right thing to do and you probably should have done it sooner but cutting someone off like that who already has issues is the worst thing you can do to them. It's done now anyway so the only thing you can do is moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceFails Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 I was trying to make it official the day before that one when she saidthat she's no more in love and that she doesn't know what she wanted. I was frustrated. She then tried to blame me that I am going to break up but then she just said I won't force anythjng and you do what you want. She sounded convincing that she's actually over me. Then out of no where she msged me with "hey I am getting drunk with some people soon"..immature as it sounded. She just said I don't have any authority on her and she refuses my advice before I even replied and "good night". I tried to tell her how she's been a mess and being drunk with some guys now won't be the best to do and I received a "Bye :3" I felt pretty much that, that was it. She no longer considered me at all. Back then she used to call me to ask me about whom to hang out with and whom to avoid. Not being controlling I only gave opinions and seriously didn't interfere with her. But that's how she used to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceFails Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 I feel more guilt :"( Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceFails Posted July 30, 2013 Author Share Posted July 30, 2013 This was a dick move and you have probably made her condition worse, I hope you are proud of yourself. She clearly has major abandonment issues, while that drinking nonsense was idiotic on her part, if this got too much you should have broken up with her in a civil manner. Now you have made everything much worse for her. Congratulations. She texted me how she was drunk and that she humped everything her way. When I told her no contact she told me that I am nothimg but another fake friend of hers. Lol abandonment issues? My arse. Link to post Share on other sites
fujidabruin Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Dude, this is response is from a guy who is the dumpee. I am enforcing the NC although she is not happy about. So a bit different than you. I think you are in some denial about what you have created here. I only agree with part of what Emilia told you. However, I do agree that you should just move on now. Step back and look at your situation like it is somebody elses. Don't know if you can reconcile your own feelings, let alone the relationship, if you are processing things thru anger and resentment. Just sayin' Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceFails Posted August 1, 2013 Author Share Posted August 1, 2013 I've calmed down and talked to her. She clearly has the grass is greener syndrome. I've been trying to tell her I am moving on. But she just either escapes from talking about that or or changes the subject or simply get mad. I've tried to tell her that's it I am done and she was mad that she still cares about me. Guess I am being used. Link to post Share on other sites
Sneaky Posted August 1, 2013 Share Posted August 1, 2013 How are you being used? You clearly hurt her by the way you ended the relationship. She does not have GIGS, you dumped her not the other way around. Stop contacting her; telling her you are moving on and just do it already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceFails Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 (edited) How are you being used? You clearly hurt her by the way you ended the relationship. She does not have GIGS, you dumped her not the other way around. Stop contacting her; telling her you are moving on and just do it already. So. I had to bare how cold and lots of new male friends and weird drunk nights? Would you stay with someone like that? I only broke up when she told me that she doesn't care about what I think of her being drunk with some guys.. If I didn't break up with her probably she'd have cheated. Edited August 2, 2013 by NiceFails Link to post Share on other sites
Sneaky Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 So. I had to bare how cold and lots of new male friends and weird drunk nights? Would you stay with someone like that? I only broke up when she told me that she doesn't care about what I think of her being drunk with some guys.. If I didn't break up with her probably she'd have cheated. I'm not saying you shouldn't have broken up with her, that's your decision. But you can't break up with a person like this, then judge her post break up behavior and making yourself out to be a victim. Stop telling her that you're moving on and do it. Keeping up contact is clearly unhealthy for both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NiceFails Posted August 2, 2013 Author Share Posted August 2, 2013 I'm not saying you shouldn't have broken up with her, that's your decision. But you can't break up with a person like this, then judge her post break up behavior and making yourself out to be a victim. Stop telling her that you're moving on and do it. Keeping up contact is clearly unhealthy for both of you. I talked with her after my angry moments. And the whole stuff happened before I broke up. I am not contacting her. Just breadcrumbs that I will finish off now. She probably gonna hate me start the nc talk but well.. Link to post Share on other sites
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