Extremely hurt.

[davidbjohnson]

So, the story goes like this: my ex girlfriend and I have been together since she was 16 and I was 18. I am 21 now and she is 19. Like all of our relationships, we had our ups and downs. However, four days ago we had a talk about intimacy issues (she felt like she had to force herself to be horny) I then told her that it is not necessary for her to force herself to have sex with me. She then started to cry and pour her heart out to me saying that she doesn't know why she does not love me as much as she use to, and that we would always talk about how we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, but she does not feel the same way anymore. Shortly after, she proceeded to tell me that she still wanted to try and work it out because we have such a long history together.

 

Fast forward to yesterday, after coming back from a date, I knew that the past couple of days that she has fallen out of love with me and that she was only staying with me because of our long history. We talked about it on the drive home and she said that she felt that we were so young and she does not want to settle down and needs to figure out what she really wants.

 

We were best friends, we grew up together, i'm so lost, and I am currently trying to do NC. I want her back so badly, but from the lurking through this site, i know that seldom happens.

 

I just need people to talk to and vent my frustrations because all of our friends are mutual friends and I do not want to go running to them about our relationship issues because I know they'll talk to her about it. Can you guys please tell me it's going to be okay? I can't sleep, I can't eat, my body aches, and I feel like this is all my fault.

[rosie9]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through a similar situation and I'm still hurting every single day. In my situation, my ex broke up with me saying he still loved me but he wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. I then found out that a week later he started going out with another girl. That was two months ago, and I just recently found out there was a chance he cheated on me with her while we were still together, which of course just made the whole situation worse for me.

There's nothing I can tell you that I'm sure others haven't told you already. I'd love to tell you that she'll see the light and come back and things will be better than ever, but there's no guarantees that will happen. Thinking about it happening will just consume your life and you won't be able to even attempt to move on. Take all the time you need to cry, mope, and feel sorry. But eventually you have to pick yourself up and start doing other things to get your mind off of her, at least for the night. Vent to your friends, watch movies, do something you wouldn't normally. The goal is to make yourself happy.

You're not going to forget her overnight or even in a couple months. It takes time and yes it's going to hurt. Some days will be better than others and on the bad days it's going to feel like you can't make it to tomorrow, I know how that feels....but you just need to do anything you can to make yourself happy. Trust me, there are days when I go out with my friends and we just drive around listening to music and laughing our asses off about stupid stuff and I have a great time. Then there are days when I just lay in bed all day, come on to boards like these, listen to sad music and cry. I stuff my face with oreos and mope around in my pajamas. But you pick yourself up again. It's going to take a lot of time. I wish I was over him and enjoying my life whether it's me being single or pursuing someone else. But right now all I think about is them together, doing things we used to do and having fun. It hurts but I will get through it. And you will too. You will find happiness again. If she wants to be with you and you trust her enough to be with her, you guys might be together and this post will just be a distant memory. But maybe she won't and that's okay too. You're going to find someone who wants to be with you, no questions asked. It will get better someway, somehow.

I know how you feel when you say that you think its your fault. I kept thinking of "what ifs" and what I could have done to make him stay, but at the end of the day it was ultimately his decision, there was nothing that I could have done to make him change his mind. And there was nothing you could have done to change her mind. I know that sounds kinda mean but there wasn't. She's 19 and I am too. She's young and maybe she doesn't want to be tied down to one guy and that's a common thought for young women. But you will meet a girl who wants to be with you and won't wonder if she's missing out because she's already found who she wants to be with. Things will be okay, maybe not tomorrow and maybe not for a while, but things will get better. You will find happiness again. Stick to no contact (unfortunately I broke it after two months and completely embarrassed myself) but, don't talk to her. Take her off social networking sites, delete her number, take her out of your life. It was the risk she took when she left you, losing you for good. It's not your problem anymore.

Just remember that things will get better and if you feel like you can't talk to your friends, there are people on here who are more than willing to help you out