Chris715 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 (edited) I'm 22, got involved in a my first serious relationship with a girl last summer/fall. Things started out great as they usually do except that she went out of state for college, so doing the whole LDR thing was kind of tough. Over that time while she was gone for the semester she revealed to me that she was depressed, bipolar, suicidal, and having tons of issues with fights with her friends/ex that resulted from her last breakup in May 2012. I genuinely cared about this girl and loved her so I was there for her nonstop over this time. She breaks up with me during the winter, not giving much of a reason, but still maintains close contact and honestly it still felt like we were in a relationship. She was dealing with the same stuff and needed me for support still at that time and I happily gave it. Fast forward to this last college semester and she goes out of state again and "moves on" from her depression, problems with former friends/ex, and starts talking to me noticeably less. At this point I'm starting to have my own issues with depression, school, and some health problems and I share this all with her, thinking she will be there to support me because she still would say she cared about me and at least "loved me as a friend". Like a stab in the back she distances herself even more, saying she "needs some space" and that she "can't be there for me at long distance", even though I sure as hell was there for her long distance the entire time. Like an idiot I forced the issue, had a hard time giving her space because I still have feelings for her and love her despite the way she's treated me, we got in a fight, and now we are barely in talking terms over the summer and currently pretty pissed at each other because she feels I didn't respect her space (which admittedly, I haven't) and because I feel betrayed by her. I straight up asked her like a month ago if all she had done was used me because she wanted a relationship when she was going through a hard time and then wanted nothing to do with me once she got past it all and she basically just said "yeah, sorry. I don't think I ever felt anything for you." And here I am now, hurt as hell and feeling betrayed by all of this, loving someone that doesn't even give a **** about me and just used me. All of my friends I've talked to tell me to move on, start dating again, etc. but the thought of dating anyone right now makes me feel sick from all of my heartache and I can't move on from how she hurt me. Has anyone else had an experience like this? Honestly feels like I won't be able to date someone and trust someone again because of all of this. Edited June 3, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
Yamaha Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Your hurt but you should be glad you know the truth about her. Give her permanent space and you should feel better and find someone more deserving of your feelings. 1
Author Chris715 Posted June 3, 2013 Author Posted June 3, 2013 Your hurt but you should be glad you know the truth about her. Give her permanent space and you should feel better and find someone more deserving of your feelings. Permanent space is easier said than done because despite how she's treated me I still find myself caring about her and loving her. I know NC is the right way to go, but it's seriously hurting me right now. It feels like I won't find someone else and honestly I don't want to because all I can think about right now is being with her.
bugera6262 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Your not alone, I was used 10 times worse than that. And I still am missing her and can't even think of moving on... This sucks
martys Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 been there man, you become a better person from it. learn from the experience, learn to identify red flags, and make sure it doesn't happen again, sorry to hear about that
crazy1234 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Its just really shocking how people we love with all our heart just crushes it like that.All i can tell you is try to let it go.I'v been used too.My ex used me too whom i loved for years and years.But i finally saw the good in the goodbye.Nomatter how much it hurt i never called him or talked to him and u dont either.Try taking one step at a time.Its all going to be okay soon.
umirano Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 I take it she was about your age. Relax. At that age a lot of girls aren't capable of a mature true relationship. Heck, they don't even know what that is. They aren't evil. They just don't know. Like a 6yo doesn't know how to apply for a job. So... move on and know that the older you get, and the older your dating targets are, the less likely you are to go through this again. In addition to that, just back off early when people become distant. Usually they are aware of how it feels to you, and that isn't a mistake.
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