Cloud9.5 Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Center of my busy city, standing at the bus station leaning against the glass... looking at a pigeon... he has wings to take him anywhere he wants, anywhere... yet he choices to hang around here of all places eating whats left of greggs sausage rolls kids have thrown out of their prams... Look up, to the right... and almost shat my heart out due to what I saw... her approaching the same stand... 1 year NC 1000 emotions hit me, smile at her? give her a dirty look? wave? don't look? walk away? walk to her? She stopped with her friend a few meters away, I looked at her waiting for her to look, I knew she had seen me but she wouldn't look... She moved closer to sit on the seats right beside me, back slightly turned to me... I said "oi"... she turned... "hey, you ok?" I said "yh" and smiled... that was it. Bus arrived, got on and I went to the top she stayed down, got off at the same stop and went separate ways. This girl was my first love, close friends for 6 years, together for around half a year but things didn't work out and she left me... maybe for somebody else, I don't know but she had a knew BF pretty soon after and she's still with him as far as I know. I hit rock bottom after losing her, only recently have I began to start living my life again after turning 21... I don't know how I feel, this was a kick in the balls on the inside, but on the outside I think I played it "decently" considering how I was caught off-guard and unprepared. This was like 4 hours ago... I can still feel the adrenaline Tell me something positive, enlightening and reassuring loveshack, thanks!
Chi townD Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Something positive? Okay, you survived it! You handled the interaction like a BOSS! You didn't make a scene and you handled everything with dignity. And she probably has some level of respect for you for handling yourself so well. OR she was telling her girlfriend that, that was awkward and would rather that it didn't happen. BUT! you can walk away with your head held high! Now, continue with the NC. Seeing her probably knocked you back a little. But, you need to carry on and continue to make positive changes in your life.
Author Cloud9.5 Posted May 13, 2013 Author Posted May 13, 2013 Something positive? Okay, you survived it! You handled the interaction like a BOSS! You didn't make a scene and you handled everything with dignity. And she probably has some level of respect for you for handling yourself so well. OR she was telling her girlfriend that, that was awkward and would rather that it didn't happen. BUT! you can walk away with your head held high! Now, continue with the NC. Seeing her probably knocked you back a little. But, you need to carry on and continue to make positive changes in your life. I'm over her ... Well not "over" her, I'm "past" her, I would never dream of contacting her or anything like that, we have both moved on... all that is left for me is the emotions and even those are faded... until today when the emotions almost ate me alive... on the inside. NC has been a breeze for me, last year she made it clear in more ways than 1 there was nothing left for us, and I wouldn't take her back even if by some miracle she wanted it. Regardless, she was my friend for 6 years when we were teens, and my first "real" love in adulthood... losing her felt worse than relatives passing away... I can't put my finger on how I feel after seeing her, she's on my mind, which is annoying, but I'm laughing to myself about it for the moment, on the other hand I'm waiting to notice myself slip into a depressed mode and start hurting again as a result of today... I hope that doesn't happen.
crederer Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Hey man. Now the first meeting is out of the way and I'm sure if it happens again it'll be less awkward. It sounds immature for her to pretend she didn't see you. I mean you guys are adults it's not highschool.
Author Cloud9.5 Posted May 13, 2013 Author Posted May 13, 2013 It sounds immature for her to pretend she didn't see you. I mean you guys are adults it's not highschool. I know right... well maybe she didn't see me, scratch that, I know she did... I think it was one of those "oh sht, there's X, don't look" moments... But I was never gonna allow her to not acknowledge me, it had to be done, there's where the "oi" came in... Would have been less awkward if she had just looked right away... probably would have just exchanged smiles from a distance and a word wouldn't have to be spoken...
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