cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Ex and i were together 8 years. Have know her for over 12 yrs. BU last Sept early Oct. I have been NC 7 months, am pretty indifferent and am starting a new RS. So i was driving home today and it took me past were she worked for years. I saw her car pulling out. I got a glimpse of her.. she didnt see me. anyway ive taken NC very seriously but for what ever reason decided to send a text (i know stupid) Not even sure what i was expecting as i dont want her back and am sure she doesnt. so i basically said ..".I was driving home saw her leaving work in her car. I am surpised she is still at the same job. Weird. " She spent years working and getting an accounting degree at night from a good school (i supported her in every way) and she always wanted to leave that dead end job after she graduated last spring. Well im not sure what i wanted. Or even how my text could be interpreted. She sent me a super nice meail in december and i didnt respond. She hoped we could talk again one day. Lol. Guess that isnt happeneing and its for the best. Not really sure why i did it ..but now i just started feeling really happy all of the sudden. I dont care that she didnt repond. Not even sure if id repond if she texted back so it is for the best. Am I delusional? i broke NC and though i would explode or something. I guess maybe i built it up too much. Well im going to reblock her number just in case (block expired) im still, here not upset and have beed discussing plans with new girl for a get away this weekend. in other relationships i have always had like one last meetup with the ex after becoming indifferent and always walked away soo happy. It was like proving to myself i was over it. Was this that moment for me? The final end of the long journery? I guesss so. Rock on! Cav
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Ain't closure great! Is that what this is... closure? I never even thought of it in that way before. I just thought about getting indifference. Maybe thats why i sent the text ..for closure????
McDonald Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Too much thinking about your ex in this post cav. Go have sex with the Latina check right now 2
McGriff Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Cav breaking NC? There is no hope for any of us. Let the dominos begin to fall. 9
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) Too much thinking about your ex in this post cav. Go have sex with the Latina check right now Hahaha. Well im not perfect. I guess in the back of my mind i always thought id maybe touch base with her after becoming indifferent. I really hope she is happy with new guy and engaged or something. I dont really feel like i set myself back. I dont think that is possible now with out a concerted effort. Lol I guess just back to NC forever now. I wont reach out again! Edited April 30, 2013 by cavalier99
youngnlove89 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I'm going to go contact my ex right now...BRB tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock Just kidding. CAV!? Why did you do that? I really feel like it will start to bother you if she doesn't reply because no one likes to be ignored. and then you'll start thinking and analyzing. and wondering. and thinking more. and then you'll text her again. and she'll ignore. and then when your with your new girl, you'll be wondering and thinking more about why your ex didn't respond. (even though, I probably would ignore you too if you didn't respond to my nice email back in december.) In this thread, it seems like it was all about her, her, her. You still have feelings for her, I know it! I just do. And it's okay to admit that. You spent 8 years together! Stay strong now. Move on with this new chick and don't look in that rear view mirror again! 2
Hopeful714 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 What are you doing? omg! Do you think you did this to gloat? Pls be careful .....your still in the honeymoon period! I wouldn't have expected her to respond asap. May take a day or two but if she is blocked... I guess it dont matter. All I can say is Im sure she received the text and thought WTF! Then most likely will think it again when she texts you back and you dont reply. Rock on! 1
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 I'm going to go contact my ex right now...BRB tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock Just kidding. CAV!? Why did you do that? I really feel like it will start to bother you if she doesn't reply because no one likes to be ignored. and then you'll start thinking and analyzing. and wondering. and thinking more. and then you'll text her again. and she'll ignore. and then when your with your new girl, you'll be wondering and thinking more about why your ex didn't respond. (even though, I probably would ignore you too if you didn't respond to my nice email back in december.) In this thread, it seems like it was all about her, her, her. You still have feelings for her, I know it! I just do. And it's okay to admit that. You spent 8 years together! Stay strong now. Move on with this new chick and don't look in that rear view mirror again! Hmmm you could be right. Dont know. Well im not going to reach out again and she will be reblocked so im not worried about her contacting me or me even seeing it. I guess it was a f*ck up and impusive after seeing her driving. Still i feel fine now and quite stable. I guess ill see if i fall apart in the next couple days. I just feel bad if i let any of you guys down. I wasnt even going to post about it but figured id come clean! Cav
youngnlove89 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Hmmm you could be right. Dont know. Well im not going to reach out again and she will be reblocked so im not worried about her contacting me or me even seeing it. I guess it was a f*ck up and impusive after seeing her driving. Still i feel fine now and quite stable. I guess ill see if i fall apart in the next couple days. I just feel bad if i let any of you guys down. I wasnt even going to post about it but figured id come clean! Cav That's part of recovery...f..cking up. It's okay. You had a temptation, you succumbed to it. You let it lead you into making a choice that you regret. Pick up. Start over. And try again. Don't fall apart, I need your wisdom. Stay strong. 2
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 What are you doing? omg! Do you think you did this to gloat? Pls be careful .....your still in the honeymoon period! I wouldn't have expected her to respond asap. May take a day or two but if she is blocked... I guess it dont matter. All I can say is Im sure she received the text and thought WTF! Then most likely will think it again when she texts you back and you dont reply. Rock on! Ha i dont know what im doing! Just did it when i saw her driving. Lol. my BU had been so boring. Why cant i have some drama too!..kidding. Seriously Ive been so good with my impusle control. Ill tread very cafefully i promise. Thanks for keeping me on track. Cav
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) What are you doing? omg! Do you think you did this to gloat? Pls be careful .....your still in the honeymoon period! I wouldn't have expected her to respond asap. May take a day or two but if she is blocked... I guess it dont matter. All I can say is Im sure she received the text and thought WTF! Then most likely will think it again when she texts you back and you dont reply. Rock on! I think maybe subconciously i wanted to poke at her. Have her respond and then let her twist in the wind again. Im sooo evil. Lol then again id be the only one that would come out hurt! ahh text just came in. "IM SURPRISED TOO" will ignore. Cav whose idea was this again to break NC?? Lol Edited April 30, 2013 by cavalier99
youngnlove89 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I think maybe subconciously i wanted to poke at her. Have her respond and then let her twist in the wind again. Im sooo evil. Lol then again id be the only one that would come out hurt! ahh text just came in. "IM SURPRISED TOO" will ignore. Cav whose idea was this again to break NC?? Lol maybe you shouldn't ignore. talk to her. ((nobody throw tomatoes at me!!!!))
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 maybe you shouldn't ignore. talk to her. ((nobody throw tomatoes at me!!!!)) Nope. I dont want to know about her life. Might just send a polite text back saying "take care" before reblocking.
youngnlove89 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Nope. I dont want to know about her life. Might just send a polite text back saying "take care" before reblocking. do that instead because you did contact her, so for you to just ignore her would be childish. don't block her either. blocking should really only be used in the beginning. you are strong enough now to just ignore it. having to block someone means you still care, that it's still too hard for you to just ignore. 2
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) do that instead because you did contact her, so for you to just ignore her would be childish. don't block her either. blocking should really only be used in the beginning. you are strong enough now to just ignore it. having to block someone means you still care, that it's still too hard for you to just ignore. This is exactly what i was thinking. sent take care. Cav neither one of us want to converse i think so this will be it. Bullet dodged Edited April 30, 2013 by cavalier99
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) Keep us updated! I'm curious. Will do. Shell send back: "you too" then that will be it. Lol Ha in another 6 to 9 month ill find out if she is married or is pregnant. I did know her like 13 or 14 years. Ill always care for her some and wish her the best. Edited April 30, 2013 by cavalier99 1
Echo000 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Jesus Cav YOU of all people broke NC? Besides Tara Maiden, i never heard of a person more stubborn about adhering to NC so im shocked you broke it. I wonder why you did that. I wonder if you even know why..but there is a reason. Guess you still like her CAV!!! haha man still shocked to hear you broke NC damn world about to come crashing down now all bets are off LS is gonna explode as well. 2
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Jesus Cav YOU of all people broke NC? Besides Tara Maiden, i never heard of a person more stubborn about adhering to NC so im shocked you broke it. I wonder why you did that. I wonder if you even know why..but there is a reason. Guess you still like her CAV!!! haha man still shocked to hear you broke NC damn world about to come crashing down now all bets are off LS is gonna explode as well. Hahaha i know i feel like such a hipocrite! Lol Cav 1
Echo000 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Hahaha i know i feel like such a hipocrite! Lol Cav haha its all good man, took balls for you to share that and be honest (bc you are such a big proponent of NC). It does show you tho, everyones path to "okayness" is unique. Yours allowed for a text message. Others allows for more, others nothing at all. Just depends! Thanks for sharing. Hope you continue to feel happy 2
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) She said: Hope you are doing well. Thanks. Wont respond. Thread over i believe. Deleted breif text convesation. New girl awaits. Onward and upwards! Rock on! Cav Edited April 30, 2013 by cavalier99
TheFriend Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I want to do this same thing cav but am afraid I will fall off the wagon emotionally!!! I really hope you didn't get your "fix" and set yourself back! The next few days will def be a tell! Keep us all updated on how you feel!
Author cavalier99 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) I want to do this same thing cav but am afraid I will fall off the wagon emotionally!!! I really hope you didn't get your "fix" and set yourself back! The next few days will def be a tell! Keep us all updated on how you feel! I would have never done this before. I was too scared. Took me 7 months NC to even consider it. Maybe i wanted to prove to myself i was over it and not feel like without pure NC id fall apart. Who knows??? Ive done a ton of healing and am much stronger now. I had no expectation out of this and all in all there really wasnt anything said between us. Very innoculous and meaningless exchange. We arnt friends and we arnt getting back together. That much is obvious. Anyway ill keep you posted on how i feel. I guess i feel good that our time meant something, no one is bitter, and she probably feels the same..then again i already knew this. thanks everyone! Cav Edited April 30, 2013 by cavalier99
th90 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Congrats Cav!! *blows trumpet* So happy for ya! And oh you just inspired me to do the same Cos I have this feeling that my ex is gonna be the one sinking this time after all the lies and cheats and I think I'm gonna be just fine if he ignores my attempt to start contact again. And maybe I can get his new gf jealous or something (god am I childish?) haha Well on second thought, I'm better than that!! I'll ignore this stupid idea for now 2
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